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[Apr. 28th, 2017|08:32 am]

nestra
[Tags|]

Fetch
by Tony Hoagland

Who knew that the sweetest pleasure of my fifty-eighth year
would turn out to be my friendship with the dog?

That his trembling, bowlegged bliss at seeing me stand there with the leash
would give me a feeling I had sought throughout my life?

Now I understand those old ladies walking
their Chihuahuas in the dusk, plastic bag wrapped around one hand,

content with a companionship that, whatever
else you think of it, is totally reliable.

And in the evening, at cocktail hour,
I think tenderly of them

in all of those apartments on the fourteenth floor
holding out a little hotdog on a toothpick

to bestow a luxury on a friend
who knows more about uncomplicated pleasure

than any famous lobbyist for the mortal condition.
These barricades and bulwarks against human loneliness,

they used to fill me with disdain,
but that was before I found out my metaphysical needs
                                        could be so easily met

by the wet gaze of a brown-and-white retriever
with a slight infection of the outer ear
                             and a tail like a windshield wiper.

I did not guess that love would be returned to me
as simply as a stick returned when it was thrown

again and again and again—
in fact, I still don’t exactly comprehend.

What could that possibly have to teach me
about being human?


"Fetch" by Tony Hoagland from Application for Release from the Dream.
© Graywolf Press, 2015.
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One vid more! (Part 2) [Feb. 2nd, 2013|03:25 pm]

purplefringe
[Tags|, , , ]
[xpost |http://purplefringe.livejournal.com/66197.html]

The second vid....the second vid is I've Just Seen A Face, made as a treat for [personal profile] such_heights :-P

She had NO IDEA, MWA HA HA HA! The vid is a blatant love letter to KAREN GILLAN'S FACE OF JOY, and it was a lot of fun to make! Though it was possibly even *more* fun to watch [personal profile] such_heights squee over, whilst rejoicing in secret on the sofa next to her :-D I am such a good liar and am NOT ASHAMED.

download: 33MB @ mediafire

password: jean

stream:

I've Just Seen A Face from Phoebe on Vimeo.


Lyrics here )
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[Apr. 28th, 2017|07:06 am]

synecdochic
Someone is vigorously bathing in my lap to make sure she looks lovely for her new human. :)

furiously grooming!

Barring disaster, we'll be transporting her in two weeks! And then she can get as much petting as she wants:

Thea getting lap scritches
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Les Miserables - one rec so good I'm posting it here AND on my recs journal [Apr. 28th, 2017|03:53 am]

fairestcat
World Ain't Ready (185796 words) by idiopathicsmile - Les Misérables - All Media Types - Enjolras/Grantaire, background Courfeyrac/Jean Prouvaire

Do you ever read a fic and it's just so right and true and real that it just burrows into your heart and makes a home there because it's everything you always wanted, but never knew you needed? Yeah, this fic is like that for me.

It's a fake-dating, high school AU and I'll be honest, neither of those are things are go-to fic tropes for me. And yet, I spent all day today, in between some really, spectacularly unpleasant stuff that I can't talk about, just soaking in this fic. Basking in it and everything it represents.

It's about queerness and community and finding trust, when trust seems impossible. And it's about being seventeen and queer in a conservative town, with fucked up brain-chemistry and crippling self-doubt and overwhelming expectations and basically, what it was like to be ME. This fic was like looking into a mirror.

Only this mirror-me got the things I desperately needed and I'm not sure could ever have had. Because I went to high school in the mid-90s and although a remarkable number of my high school friends have since come out, we never -- could never -- talk about it at the time. I didn't even have the language or self-awareness to talk about this shit. Not about being queer. Not about my fucked up brain chemistry. Not about the crippling fear that I was smart, but not smart enough. (If I could have talked about the second one, the third one might not have come back to bite me in the ass so much in university).

So, yeah, this fic is going to stick with me for a long fucking time, in the way that all the best fiction does. It's one of the most honest stories I've read in a long, long time.
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[Apr. 27th, 2017|11:09 pm]

jmtorres
Hey, do you guys have any fave Stargate vids? SG-1 or Atlantis, not picky. Or even the like, movie.

I'm teaching my brother how to vid, and he wants to make a Stargate vid, and I figured one of the things I should do is introduce him to the extant fannish vidding culture and also it'd be fun just have a vid watching party.
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alone in an imaginary room [Apr. 27th, 2017|08:59 pm]

oliviacirce
[Tags|, , , , ]

Billy Collins time!

If this were a novel )
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Gratitudes [Apr. 27th, 2017|07:26 pm]

kass
[Tags|]

1. Today I was good at my job and that felt good.

2. I am making roasted stuffed peppers right now and they are making my kitchen fragrant.

3. I am rich in friends, and there are a lot of people whom I love, and I am fiercely grateful for this, even when my heart aches because some of those beloveds are suffering.

4. The implausible chartreuse of early spring's first leaves, which I adore, every year.

5. The fact that even when life is not easy, I can feel in my bones that I am in a better place than I was a year ago.
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finished the book; more ambivalent [Apr. 27th, 2017|07:18 pm]

bironic
[Tags|]
[xpost |http://bironic.livejournal.com/389398.html]

I finished Every Heart a Doorway (previous post) and... hm.

Reviewing the story from a personal/subjective perspective, rather than formally assessing its structure and so forth: spoilers )
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books for your ears [Apr. 27th, 2017|03:16 pm]

isis
[Tags|, , , ]
[xpost |http://isiscolo.livejournal.com/634259.html]

I would have included this in yesterday's reading post had the email announcement arrived yesterday rather than today, but. The 2017 SYNC summer has begun! For those of you unfamiliar with this, it's a free summer YA/teen audiobook program from AudioFile Magazine; two free audiobooks, one new and one older, are put up for download every week for 16 weeks. You need the (free) Overdrive app to download, and there's a link on the SYNC page if you don't have it (it's commonly used by libraries for their audiobook downloads, so you might have it already). There's no DRM on the files, so there's no expiration - they're just mp3 files.

I don't download every week's selections, but over the past several years I've listened to quite a few. (In fact, this is how I first read The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater.) This week's selections, available until 5/4, are The Dead House by Dawn Kurtagich, about which I only know what Goodreads says, that it's a psychological thriller told in epistolary format, and The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, which is a novella I've read before but may download anyway for the audio experience.

You can sign up for the mailing list that sends alerts about the books at http://www.audiobooksync.com/, and I think when you download it might put you on the list automatically (though you can easily unsubscribe).
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New Vid: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia "Ready to Get Down" [Apr. 27th, 2017|09:38 pm]

lilly_the_kid
[Tags|, , , ]
[xpost |http://lilly-the-kid.livejournal.com/103247.html]

Title: Ready to Get Down
Source: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Music: Getting Ready to Get Down by Josh Ritter
Characters/Pairing: Mac and Dennis, Mac/Dennis
Summary: And when you get damned in the popular opinion, it's just another damn of the damns you're not giving
Warnings: none
Vidder Notes: I love this show and love how the characters have developed over the seasons, how they've become more and  more of what they already were. I love that Mac finally came out and I love that Dennis wants "to kick things up a notch".

Also here on AO3

Comments are loved!

download: 31mb mp4

If the embed won't work, you can watch it here on Vimeo.
password: ready




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gum wrapper; shameless (us); karen/lip; pg [Apr. 27th, 2017|02:37 pm]

krickets
[Tags|, ]
[xpost |http://crickets.livejournal.com/586141.html]

Wow, first fic in like a year? (I'm guessing.)

title; rating: gum wrapper; pg
fandom, pairing; count: Shameless (US), Lip/Karen; ~460
notes: written for stainofmylove for her fic meme

Trying to post fic under a cut, anyone know how to do it?
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[Apr. 27th, 2017|08:52 am]

nestra
[Tags|]

Everything Happens Twice
by Eve Robillard

That bird sitting dazed on the railing
has flown into your window before.

The dead-end street you’ve turned onto-
You did that just last month. The boss

calling you into his office
has nothing new to say.

There are only so many scripts.
Everything happens twice.

The friend who borrows your raincoat
will borrow your raincoat tomorrow. The parent

who never loved you enough
is doing it from the grave. You are writing

the very same poem
over & over again they are playing

that old, old song but it’s never
the very last dance. So smile at the guy

who drinks too much-
the one with forget-me-not eyes. Sleep

with the one who calls you
by another woman’s name.


"Everything Happens Twice" by Eve Robillard from Everything Happens Twice. © Fireweed Press, 2002.
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YAY YAY YAY [Apr. 27th, 2017|05:06 am]

synecdochic
We have found a possible home for Thea and, although it's not definite, it's pretty likely and it looks like it will work out WONDERFULLY for everyone involved. \o/
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sing america [Apr. 26th, 2017|10:10 pm]

oliviacirce
[Tags|, , , , , ]

Sometimes you've just gotta throw up your hands and post some real classic Langston Hughes.

I, too )
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Mid-April media: novella edition [Apr. 26th, 2017|08:12 pm]

bironic
[Tags|]
[xpost |http://bironic.livejournal.com/389120.html]

Today I started reading the e-book of Every Heart a Doorway that Tor.com is offering for free until midnight Eastern. I hadn't read anything by Seanan McGuire before, despite many of your rave reviews, and the blurbs I'd seen for this book hadn't grabbed me. Well, it turns out that all anyone needed to have said was spoiler? it's mentioned in chapter 1 ) and I'd've been on this much faster!

More on that: ) *cough* Up my alley, even though it's only a small part of the story.

I'm enjoying general themes and a couple of characterization points ). The prose could be tighter, but I guess it's YA? Whatever: it's working, because I'm already two-thirds of the way through.

For me it's the happy medium between the grotesquerie of Catherynne Valente's Deathless and the -- what's the word for when you need more tension? -- uneventful, I guess, utopia of Becky Chambers' The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet; but that's a subject for a more intensive post that I do not have the brain cells to write these days.


ETA: thoughts on the ending.
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Meme from st_aurafina [Apr. 26th, 2017|08:07 pm]

d_generate_girl
( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )
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[Apr. 26th, 2017|06:55 pm]

nestra
[Tags|]

On Turning 37
by Kareem Tayyar

Today you remind yourself that although Buddy Holly was 17
            When he first sang “Peggy Sue”,
And that Fitzgerald was 24 when he published This Side of Paradise,
And that Dylan was only 21 when he composed
            “Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands”
            In the studio while the other musicians shot pool and played cards,

Whitman was 37 when he wrote "Song of Myself",
Rousseau was 40 when he first picked up a paintbrush in his Paris apartment
            And began creating those indelible images of the African jungles
            That were largely responsible for the birth of Modem Art,
And even J.F.K,
            He of that perpetual youth and beauty that signaled a departure from
            The grandfather-politics of men like Eisenhower and Truman,
Was 43 when he took the oath of office for the Presidency.

In other words,
Go back to sleep, buddy.
There is still plenty of time to climb the mountain,
And there is no reason to think that your best days are already behind you.



"On Turning 37" by Kareem Tayyar from Magic Carpet Poems. © Tebot Bach Press, 2015.
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Thank you!! [Apr. 26th, 2017|01:51 pm]

gwyn
[Tags|]
[Current Mood |grateful]

To all the people who've helped me out with the cost of the hard drive repair--thank you so, so much. It means a lot to me, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Especially since I was the dumbass who never did a better backup system than, you know, using this drive in the first place till it was too late.

My hope is that at some point soon I can start identifying a place to host the digitzed vids (i'm not necessarily thrilled with my vids site host and have been talking with Mrs. Killabeez about migrating my personal and professional web sites elsewhere), and then start putting things online and maybe with the help of some of the other cannibals, put the handful of vids that are digitally remastered onto Critical Commons. I have an account there, but have never actually taken action on using it--not enough spoons, etc. etc.--but I can do that because I think it'll be a good place for those things to exist, since they're a part of fannish vidding history. And then I don't have to worry about stupid YouTube blocking them or whatever.

Now I just have to find the…energy and ability to do these things. When you can't even get out of bed in the morning, it's hard sometimes to look at this stuff and want to do it, but I know that as the unintentional and unelected keeper of these things, it's something I gotta do.
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DRAFT [Apr. 26th, 2017|01:47 pm]

zulu
It is a good day, because I had pie, and also finished a 36,000 word draft of my exegesis. It's like, now I have the marble and I can start sculpting. After I type up seven or eight pages of works cited, I guess...

WHEE
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wednesday reads 'n things [Apr. 26th, 2017|12:45 pm]

isis
[Tags|, , , ]
[xpost |http://isiscolo.livejournal.com/633903.html]

What I've recently finished reading: Er, I haven't actually finished anything recently. Which is a bit embarrassing because it's been two weeks since my last books post. But I've been reading fanfiction, including an original fic which I'm going to count as a book; and also, playing Ruzzle (a phone wordgame akin to Boggle) and Witcher 3 and watching some more Black Sails (four eps left in the last season), and I was on a vacation for four days mountain biking with my husband and another couple and didn't manage to read anything because we spent the evenings talking and drinking and playing bocce. /excuses

What I'm currently reading: Lots of things!

Grace of Kings by Ken Liu - my current audiobook, of which my opinion goes from two-star to four-star and back again pretty much every listening session. After my grumbling to [personal profile] ambyr that he just fridged another potentially excellent female character, the next bit I listened to...introduced a fabulous female character and gave her what looks like a starring role! After a really solid scene which sounded very much like an ending...I realized I was only 3/4 through the book.

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins - I am at the point where I'm sort of hatereading it just because it's there. All the characters are awful, which I realize is the point, but I don't care for books like that.

The Course of Honour by [archiveofourown.org profile] Avoliot - original m/m arranged marriage in SPAAAACE fic. The arranged marriage bit is kind of dubious to me (dynastic marriages require the capability of making offspring!) but the story is entertaining and reasonably well-written, with interesting world-building and a solid non-romance plot (which is what sold me on it). I am not a romance fan, but I love relationships as b-plot to adventure/action/mystery/thriller stuff. (I found this because people were discussing it in a Books thread on ffa, and it sounded interesting enough to suspend my no-WIP rule.)

What I'm reading next: More fanfiction. (I'm reading a Witcher WIP right now, another exception to my rule, not really anything I'd give an unqualified rec to, but it's time travel, which is my bulletproof trope. Also I have promised two people I'd beta-read their fic, and I should be getting those soon.) I should get back to my collected Hugo-nominated short stories (spoiler alert: I haven't really liked the ones I've read, which is more about me not liking pro short stories in general than about the quality of the stories). I also have Catherynne Valente's Deathless on my phone, courtesy of a recent Tor books monthly giveaway, and I've been wanting to read it after a friend recommended it on my review of The Bear and the Nightingale as another Russian-mythology-inspired work.

Speaking of fanfic, I have my NoFM assignment and am pleased, though I have too many general ideas right now and not enough specific ones. I've also started writing another Witcher fic about totally minor characters nobody will be interested in, and have been poking at an abandoned WIP in another fandom that I might try to resurrect. Nothing like an assignment with a due date to make me want to write other things...
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Drive-by vid rec [Apr. 26th, 2017|09:03 am]

kouredios
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood |bouncy]

Especially if you love Yurio like I love Yurio.



Gotta go teach, but thanks to [personal profile] naraht I've been watching this vid almost non-stop, and I thought I needed to share the awesome.
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My father-in-law [Apr. 26th, 2017|08:39 am]

happydork
[Tags|]

My father-in-law passed away on Monday morning.

He was a kind man. Brilliant, playful, curious, funny, generous, loving — and kind. He loved to laugh and he loved to share, and his love for Amy shone out of him. He was so open to and enthusiastic about anything that made her happy — even if I hadn’t loved him for himself (and I did), I would have loved him for that.

I know he wanted to be remembered for who he was before the last few months of his life. The lively, silly, driven man who raced his small daughter down corridors (feinting the wrong way and giggling as she followed his misdirection), who trekked the world for charity, who took beautiful photographs, loved music, cooked and ate with gusto, and took great pleasure in so many things. But I’ll also remember how, at the end, he kept his kindness and kept his warmth. Every time we visited, I was struck again by how clearly he wanted Amy to feel welcome, to feel loved.

I was so lucky to have him in my life for the last few years. I'm far from the only one who'll be carrying him in my heart from now on.
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Yuuri/Victor fic recs [Apr. 25th, 2017|11:56 pm]

ignaz
[Tags|, , ]

For Izzy! After putting this together I realized these are all established relationship stories, which … I guess comes with the territory, but next time I’ll try to summon up some first-time fics for ya.

never stop until the grave - Naraht

Mature, 12773 words. Back in St. Petersburg with Yuuri, Victor struggles to come back to what he left behind. Painfully realistic and beautiful.

In the afterglow of the Grand Prix Final, the idea of coaching and competing simultaneously had seemed... not easy, precisely, but doable with hard work. Anything worth doing took hard work, and Victor was an optimist by nature. Kneeling on the floor rinkside, with Yuuri straddling his lap, he had been certain that he could make it work. Only now he could not remember exactly how he had intended to do it.

with a love this deep - lazulisong

Mature, 2904 words. There's two types of dates Victor and Yuri go on in St. Petersburg. Charming and sexy. I love lazulisong’s voice.

Victor has not said, but Yuri has concluded that Victor fucked his way through a lot of beautiful people in places like this. It's fine, of course, but Yuri always feels like wrapping his palm around Victor's tie when they see one of Victor's "old friends", feels like making sure they know who, exactly, Victor kisses early in the morning, murmurs quietly to until Yuri blinks sleep out of his eyes. Who Victor falls asleep with. Who caught Victor, and means to keep him.

Mercalli - RC_McLachlan

Explicit, 1340 words.

God, the things they’re going to do together.

Pure fucking porn. For incendiary smut, read anything by this author, you can’t go wrong.

“Oh my god,” Victor whispers, because the big guy upstairs could’ve given him a little warning. Victor, I have given you Yuuri Katsuki, for he completes the other half of your soul and also sucks cock like the world is ending.

Katsudon - azriona

General Audiences, 7609 words. Yuuri’s mother waits for Yuuri and Victor to come home from Barcelona after the Grand Prix Final. Utterly gorgeous and heartbreaking.

The exhibition skate, with the ghost of silver still around Yuuri’s neck, is something else. Her heart aches as she watches her son skate to Victor’s old program. Hiroko can’t remember the music - she never saw Victor skate it originally, but she recognizes Yuuri’s dance for what it is. The longing, the loneliness, the way he looks for someone…

When Victor joins him on the ice, Hiroko forgets to breathe. The smile remains. No one sees the tears resting on her eyelashes. No one looks at her – why should anyone look at her? They are all in awe, their eyes glued to the television. Her tears never fall. Her smile never falters.

She knows then. She knows without a single doubt.

a million miles from your desperate days - idrilka (with art by xyai)

Mature, 11790 words. Gorgeous slice-of-life of Yuuri settling into St. Petersburg, with gorgeous instagram-style artwork.

It still feels strange, though, and almost inappropriate to hang the jackets and sweaters he’s owned since he was eighteen, worn and soft with age, next to Victor’s Burberry coats and Armani suits. More than anything else, this is what hammers home the message that the two of them come from two completely different worlds.

And yet—Victor came to Hasetsu with the force of a hurricane and managed to make himself right at home at Yu-topia, somehow fitting into the quiet rhythm of their lives. Maybe this means that Yuuri will fit into Victor’s life in Saint Petersburg, too, against all odds or reason. Yu-topia, somehow fitting into the quiet rhythm of their lives. Maybe this means that Yuuri will fit into Victor’s life here, too, against all odds or reason.

Go give the authors some love!

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[Apr. 25th, 2017|08:26 pm]

jmtorres
i am now, occasionally (well on about two occasions in the last week), getting weird headaches, on the top of my head, left side? anyone know what that is? brain parasites? satellite signal-related cancer? --i jest, but i did wonder the other week when I was getting eight million face x-rays in re the umpteenth root canal if, should I outlive everything else that could go wrong with me, I'll die of jaw cancer. I mean, I still jest. But in that laughing in the dark kind of way.
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Rec! [Apr. 25th, 2017|10:56 pm]

sanj
[Current Mood |pleased]

So I am 90% in a Yuri On Ice place right now (aided and abetted by [personal profile] kouredios and her daughter), but I'm also still here for the other ice gays in Check, Please!

And we all know I love stories that involve media and spin. Allow me to direct you to the following :

the jack zimmermann interview series (16170 words) by heyfightme
Chapters: 11/11
Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Characters: Jack Zimmermann
Additional Tags: Interviews, News Media, Mixed Media, Articles, Magazine articles, how to tag?, it is a mystery, Jack Does Magazine Interviews, Homophobic Language
Summary:

In the thick of one of the best debut seasons the NHL has ever seen, Providence Falconers rookie and former hockey child prodigy Jack Zimmermann is proving that second chances make all the difference.
We talked to the Falconers’ number one to find out what makes a successful comeback.

---

 

a series of revealing interviews in which jack breaks his press silence (with a definite agenda).



NOTE: I am moving my journal over entirely to dreamwidth.org sometime soon, so please find me there (with the same username) if you are reading me on LJ.
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have you see Fate of the Furious yet? [Apr. 25th, 2017|10:25 pm]

paintedmaypole
[xpost |http://paintedmaypole.livejournal.com/882996.html]

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )
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ahahaha so [Apr. 25th, 2017|07:27 pm]

jmtorres
[Tags|, ]

that thing i said the other day about having overcome my need for soulmate perfect song matches for vids, and being able to cut songs for my vids now?

I am currently gnawing my fingernails over IF I CUT THIS VERSE AM I GUTTING THE SONG? How about the haha no sarcastic stinger after the theoretically serious chorus? Am I destroying the song if I want to end it on "I love you" not "at least I think I do"? Am I doing the song 100% wrong in the first place if I am trying to decide if the girls verse is superfluous to my dudeslash ship?

(/o\ at least it's not two white dudes? only one of them is white? and like. I can think of parallel things I want to do with the ladies in the fandom for the "girls" verse like it's totally possible to read the separation of verses as divided rather than complementary, but like, am I ruining the song by reinterpreting it????)

in other news: juls has still not gotten the memo that vidding is almost always more about the fandom than the song?
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romance reading recs [Apr. 25th, 2017|07:59 pm]

paintedmaypole
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood |pensive]
[xpost |http://paintedmaypole.livejournal.com/882737.html]

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new spheres [Apr. 25th, 2017|08:43 pm]

oliviacirce
[Tags|, , , , , , , ]

Speaking of poets who are gay for God, here's a little of our good friend John Donne, for April 17:

I am a little world made cunningly )
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go out into your heart [Apr. 25th, 2017|07:38 pm]

oliviacirce
[Tags|, , , , , , ]

I borrowed K's copy of Rainer Maria Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God back in January, when I was upstate for her secret wedding. If I'm remembering correctly, the Rilke volume was one of the (many) books that K and D used to build an altar for their ceremony, which was a miracle of both structural and literary soundness (and also pretty special). Anyway, K told me to keep Rilke through poetry month, and I can't disappoint her, can I? There are a lot of really spectacular poems in this volume, but this one got me where I live.

You are not surprised at the force of the storm )
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[Apr. 25th, 2017|10:42 am]

nestra
[Tags|]

Why There Are No More Miracles
by Hal Sirowitz

God would perform miracles in the old days,
Father said, but nowadays if he set a bush
on fire, like he did for Moses, the fire department
would rush to put it out. The newspapers
would send our photographers. There’d be
an investigation. A reward would be given
to help find the arsonist. Some innocent person
would get blamed. God has enough people
believing in him. Why does He need
all that commotion for the sake of a few more?


"Why There Are No More Miracles" by Hal Sirowitz from Father Said. © Soft Skull Press, 2004.
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Are you the permanent home for this absolute sweetheart? [Apr. 25th, 2017|01:08 am]

synecdochic
EDIT: We have found a Very Probable Home for Thea! Go internet.

(Click any photo for a larger version!)

Hello, internet! I'm Thea. Here I am in my favorite spot (somebody's lap):

Thea in my lap looking up at the camera sleepily

I'm a female dilute calico, and the vet and the vet dentist think I'm about five years old. I grew up on the streets of Baltimore, but it's cold and lonely out there and I like people too much, so now I need a forever home! I'm an absolute sweetheart who'll be in your lap or draped over your shoulder the minute I meet you, but there's one catch: I need to be an only cat.

Thea asleep up against my legs

More about me! And more pictures! )

Does it sound like you could be my human? If so, leave a comment with your email address, and the humans will get in touch with you. (Or, you can email [personal profile] synecdochic at synecdochic@dreamwidth.org.) Anonymous comments are allowed; you don't need a Dreamwidth account. I'm in Baltimore right now, and the humans would prefer somebody within a few hours' drive or somebody who's willing to come pick me up themselves, but if you're the absolute right person to take me in, they're willing to talk about flying me to you, especially if you can pay for some or all of the costs. (Having all my teeth pulled wasn't cheap!) [EDIT: The humans have a friend who might be able to put a flight on frequent flyer miles for me, so they're willing to escort me outside the immediate area for the right home!]

I'm looking forward to finding someone I can help with everything, drape on top of, and sleep on!

(Please share this with your friends! For the first round of looking we'd prefer not much further than friends-of-friends, because we'd like to know the people she's going to or know someone who knows them, but if the first efforts don't pan out, we'll try again with a wider reach. We also already know the rescue organization we'll turn to if we can't find her a home through word of mouth, so you don't need to research rescue options for us!)
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flux [Apr. 24th, 2017|09:14 pm]

oliviacirce
[Tags|, , , , ]

I reread this poem yesterday, while I was trying to plan out the rest of the month; I'd actually forgotten how totally gorgeous it is, and like...yeah. Okay. This one.

Monet Refuses the Operation )
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The Book of Mormon [Apr. 24th, 2017|08:38 pm]

the_shoshanna
Geoff and a friend and I went to see The Book of Mormon yesterday. It was fantastic!

I'm not generally a person who drops $110 on theater tickets (although I do know that's a reasonable price for this level of live theater!), but when I saw that it was coming to town a few months ago, I absolutely yelped, and immediately told Geoff and other friends that I was DEFINITELY going, whether they were or not. Then, after I had actually bought the ticket, I had a few moments of "yikes, what did I just do?" But really I had no doubt that it would be totally worth it, and oh, it totally was. The staging was amazing, the actors were phenomenal, I kind of want to walk around singing "Hasa Diga Eebowai," and also at some points it genuinely made me choke up.

(Okay, that's not hard. I've been known to cry at commercials for long-distance telephone service. But -- poor abandoned Arnold!)

I laughed harder than I've laughed in ages, especially watching skim-milk-pale missionaries singing "Africans are African, but we are Africa!" (Which, also, OUCH... My church, along with five hundred other UU congregations, is about to do a service and a teach-in on white supremacy.) And now I'm looking up the lyrics to that and other songs and discovering all kinds of layers I had no idea about. I mean, I never saw The Lion King, so apparently a ton of stuff went sailing over my head...

It wasn't perfect; the second act was weaker than the first, and in particular "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream" went on a bit too long. (As the perennial advice to vidders goes: "Get in, make your joke, get out.") But nonetheless -- oh, man, that was fantastic.
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Heavy sigh [Apr. 24th, 2017|04:10 pm]

gwyn
[Tags|]
[Current Mood |embarrassed]

Back in January, during the Snowflake Challenge, I mentioned that one of the things I've avoided doing for a couple years now was taking a dead hard drive with all the Media Cannibals vid remasters and digital copies in to a data recovery service, because I couldn't really handle the cost and still do any of the things I wanted to do, like take a vacation. And I floated the idea of crowdfunding it, but it makes me squirmy, asking people for financial help when so many are in serious need. An anonymous benefactor contacted me and offered to pay for the whole thing as long as the vids would make their way online, and I was really humbled and grateful, so I finally took it in to a data recovery service because of their generosity.

It turned out the service said they could have the manufacturer repair the thing that went bad inside the drive without sending it to one of those clean facilities, so they sent it off to the drive manufacturer and it was a simple repair (that took, inexplicably, 2 months of back and forthing with the local company I worked with and driving those guys crazy because they'd ping them at, like, three a.m.), and I got it back today. I haven't hooked it up yet, but I plan to soon, and pull everything off that drive.

Unfortunately…in the meantime, I must have said something that pissed my anonymous benefactor off, or done something, because they recently unfriended me (uncircled? what do we call it on DW?) and haven't responded to the private email I sent about the update. I could contact them again, but I feel kind of uncomfortable about it, I feel like they've made it clear they don't necessarily want to deal with me anymore, although they've been cordial to me when I've commented in their journal or others' journals. (Look, there's a reason Lit's My Own Worst Enemy is my theme song.)

And I also did the commission of the art I posted the other day, which, while not very much money at all, makes me feel even weirder about crowdfund help for the cost of the hard drive repair. So I'm really feeling…stupid and embarrassed about all of this, but hey, the drive's here, yay. I figured I'd at least just float my PayPal address out here, I guess, and if anyone feels like throwing a few bucks my way toward the $300 and change the drive cost to repair, I'll embarrassedly offer you my profuse thanks and also start trying to figure a way to get the vids digitized and hosted somewhere so that people can access them once again. My PP address is gwynethr at gmail dot com, and note that r on the end of gwynethr --you'd be amazed how many times people have left that out and things vanish into the ether (or someone else's email inbox). I guess if it's sent as a gift there's no fee? I'm not sure, really, I've never done this before.

ETA: You guys are so generous and thoughtful, seriously, but I really mean it when I say A COUPLE BUCKS. I know things are hard for a lot of people right now and a big chunk of change is not required, I don't want anyone to use funds they could put to something else more necessary!
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this post turned into a morose diatribe about racism, I am the worst [Apr. 24th, 2017|10:09 pm]

raven
[Tags|, ]
[xpost |http://loneraven.livejournal.com/804114.html]

Friends, I am so tired, jet-lag is the worst. (I do not always like William Gibson, but he is spot-on about jet-lag: ".... her mortal soul is leagues behind her, being reeled in on some ghostly umbilical down the vanished wake of the plane that brought her here, hundreds of thousands of feet above the Atlantic. Souls can't move that quickly, and are left behind, and must be awaited, upon arrival, like lost luggage.”)

(On this basis, my soul left Singapore four days ago and is currently slouching towards Bethlehem. Onwards, onwards.)

Australia was wonderful, I really enjoyed it. I (mostly) enjoyed New Zealand; I was in Christchurch, Wellington (briefly), Lake Tekapo and Hanmer Springs. I do tend to feel uneasy in NZ though. The first time I went to Hanmer, a pack of white teenagers stared at me with hostile fascination until I cracked and left. It wasn't particularly pleasant and was replicated elsewhere in the rural South Island. So partly it was that, and partly it was the place in itself, but I really enjoyed Singapore. It's not my favourite place for various reasons - not least, I was travelling without my drugs because they're controlled substances there - but, well. I went on about this elsewhere but in Singapore people look like me. People on the street, popstars on TV. Adverts for make-up, adverts for wedding venues, adverts for law school - they all had girls like me in them. I wonder how much less utterly neurotic I'd be if I lived in an environment like that all the time, because there is a psychological pressure you don't notice until it's gone - until you spend a day thinking, oh, hey, I look pretty today, oh, hey, I said something funny and people laughed, and all those casual quotidian thoughts aren't followed with "Despite..." and a giant asterisk.

I read a fair bit while I was away, which is what I originally opened this tab to talk about I've been meaning to read the Moore graphic novels for years, and finally got around to it on the long flights. Watchmen - I wanted to like it more than I did. It's a critical darling, yep, I get it, and even on a visceral level, I get it, it's rich and complex and fascinating, I was swept up in it. But in the end I just found it distasteful and unsatisfying, which is a bit tragic. The women in the story exist to be raped or denied agency. And I loathe Rorschach - I loathe being placed in the mind of misogynist, homophobic, racist, anti-Semitic, tragic-childhood-waaaah men, and I particularly loathe ~narrative ambivalence~ in respect of them. Rorschach is not an anti-hero. I do not admire his integrity. It's a virtue in itself, but I don't admire it in bricks. And ultimately I don't know what the text is trying to tell me. Is it that being a superhero is possible, that being a hero is possible? Or is it 300 pages of nihilism? Either way, by the end I didn't care.

I liked V for Vendetta much better. I thought it was interesting and clever and hit a lot of the narrative tropes I adore. And then I had this thought, which I share with you because it's a sad, pathetic little thought and I'm sort of ashamed of it. Here it is. V for Vendetta is set in a near-future dystopian Britain, where the fascists are in charge and totalitarianism has seeped into the public's skin. It's richly and devastatingly imagined. It's a world in which there are explicitly no brown people and no queers - they've been destroyed by the regime. And I - the brown queer reader - am being placed in the position, as reader, of feeling empathy and concern for those who are left. For a now wholly white and non-queer society. For the story to work, I must be invested in what becomes of it. And I'm capable of it - this is the task of the brown queer reader, to find empathy and commonality of self, in that distant human for whom existence and interiority is permitted - and capable of it to the deeply ingrained, deeply socialised extent that it took me 200 pages to have this thought at all.

But I had it. And then I didn't enjoy the rest so much - but I did enjoy it a bit. Because, as I said, I've had the practice. In some ways, I'm wondering why I participate less and less in media fandom, and in other ways I know the answer: it's that I no longer want to encourage this tendency in myself. To queer the text, or run the fic challenge focusing on the browns, or whatever, is work. Unpaid female labour, in fact, which in my non-fannish life I yell about all the time. And I know I'm missing the point deliberately - fandom was never about the labour-for-capital economy, quite the reverse - but it's also emotional labour, isn't it. It's emotional labour to centre the brown or queer experience in stories that were not written about those things. It's emotional labour to just write or consume the white dude pairing du jour while carefully Not Thinking about the other thing - and as I get older I get crankier and less willing to do this. For me, the way through the Gordian knot is to write my own stories. It'd be different for someone else, perhaps, but that's it for me.

I also read Marbles, by Ellen Forney, which is a graphic memoir about living as a writer and artist with badly medicated bipolar disorder. I was both interested and nervous about this book, because it focuses on something I'm worrying about a lot lately: the relationship between creativity, medication and mental illness. It's a lovely book, actually. It's all grounded in a single experience, melodramatic and abrasive, without purporting to generalise. Forney decides that to be medicated is better for her, even if she does worry about its effect on her creativity, and makes significant effort to emphasise it wouldn't be the same for every mentally ill creator. It wasn't reassuring, but it wasn't meant to be. I liked it.

I read other things, but they'll have to wait for the next post. The drive-by rec though is for Tansy Rayner Roberts' Castle Charming novellas, which are sweet and colourful and queer fairy tale parodies. And the first one is free!

(Urgh. My soul is still plodding across the Middle East. It's taking in the sights. It's ordering olives and shakshuka. HURRY THE FUCK UP oh my god.)
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[Apr. 24th, 2017|04:50 pm]

seekingferret
[Tags|, ]

I've been thinking, as I wrote in my last D&D post, about how to do the more natural settings in my new campaign in a way that both explores the economic questions and maintains the sense of whimsy and adventure you want in a fantasy adventure and it struck me that the obvious approach is to use Fey. The very nature of Fey adventures is tied up in questions of contracts and obligations, it's inherently economic in nature. Players want to exploit a mine, but in order to gain access they need to make deals with the local fey, whose goals may be orthogonal to predictable economic aims, but whose practices are definitely economic in nature.

This creates a really interesting potential scenario: Beneficial contracts that players make with fey accrue immediate guild merits (XP) toward levelling, but if a deal with a fey is ever breached, players lose those guild merits and potentially can de-level. I really like this effect, it makes breaking fey contracts have real, meaningful teeth to the players on a metaphysical level.

Larger contracts between Auction Houses and fey kingdoms are also a wonderful source of adventure hooks, as such deals no doubt require periodic acts of maintenance. I'm imagining a scenario like where the Deal is that in order to ensure safe passage across a river in fey territory, all the Carter's Guild needs to present the local fey lord with a small, somewhat obscure but not valuable gem every year- the kind of payment where the players might wonder what the hell the faeries want with it. The players try to cross the river and the fey lord, wearing an outfit beautifully adorned with hundreds of identical gems showing that this Deal has been in force for centuries and revealing the intricate way that this ageless lord executes plans over long time scales, denies them passage until they present him this year's gem. And he doesn't deny them passage by force, but with a simple but immensely powerful teleport spell. Any time they try to cross the river, they end up back where they started. I can do so much with this kind of story element.


So I'm going to need to think up the details of the organization, such as it is, of the fey in the Mannheim Vale. I definitely want multiple kingdoms/courts of fey, but I probably also want individual loner fey creatures.
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Joys of Home Ownership [Apr. 24th, 2017|01:46 pm]

zulu
I’m at home today awaiting the furnace repair guy. Hopefully, he is only a thermostat repair guy. Naturally, the day our heat stopped working, the weather decided that rain, snow, and/or slush should probably start falling from the sky indefinitely. L was pretty impressed by thunder last night and kept asking me to show it to him. I told him, “Thunder is a sound,” but that didn’t seem to make a difference. Lightning was too quick for him to realize it was a thing.

Anyway, being at home, the real task is willpower: to work on thesis and not to a) nap or b) spend all day cleaning (because I certainly could and the place certainly needs it). Therefore I’m writing this to-do list to force myself to sit down at the computer and start typing.

ETA: Wow, how much of an incredible idiot am I. The furnace guy put new batteries into the thermostat--mind you, a THIRD SET, because I tried TWICE, because I am not, to the contrary of how this appears, STUPID--and the damn furnace just kicked on. So that was worth the cost obviously.

to do )
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a sad day [Apr. 24th, 2017|08:15 pm]

such_heights
[Tags|]

My dad passed away in his sleep last night, at the hospice where he's been receiving extraordinary palliative care for terminal cancer and resulting paralysis since late last year. He was 59.

I visited him a few times over the weekend. We ate dinner and watched Doctor Who as a family on Saturday night, and yesterday we sat and chatted and I held his hand and told him I loved him. I knew that might be the last time I saw him. These things do provide some comfort in an awful time.

My dad was a generous, hard working, and amazingly positive person and I know he touched a lot of people's lives. I'm so proud to be his daughter. He lived his life with tremendous gusto, creative spirit and an eclectic range of hobbies and interests. I've lost a parent, a mentor, and most of all a friend. I feel very lucky to know just how much he loved me and how he proud he was of me, as exemplified in the speech he gave at my wedding, which I have on video to keep forever.
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[Apr. 24th, 2017|10:14 am]

nestra
[Tags|]

String Theory
by Ronald Wallace


I have to believe a Beethoven
string quartet is not unlike
the elliptical music of gossip:
one violin excited
to pass its small story along
to the next violin and the next
until, finally, come full circle,
the whole conversation is changed.

And I have to believe such music
is at work at the deep heart of things,
that under the protons and electrons,
behind the bosons and quarks,
with their bonds and strange attractors,
these strings, these tiny vibrations,
abuzz with their big ideas,
are filling the universe with gossip,
the unsung art of small talk

that, not unlike busybody Beethoven,
keeps us forever together, even
when everything’s flying apart.


"String Theory" by Ronald Wallace from For Dear Life. © University of Pittsburgh Press, 2015.
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Vid/AMV recs? [Apr. 23rd, 2017|10:42 pm]

oyceter
Thinking of putting together a playlist for the Wiscon Vid Party on morally ambiguous and ambitious women. Anyone have recs for vids or AMVs that showcase power-hungry women? POC characters or characters from games or anime preferred. I'd especially love something on Kuvira from Legend of Korra, Lady Eboshi from Princess Mononoke or Kushana from Nausicaa.

Also, I am feeling old... where does one go to look for vids nowadays? I did find a fair amount of Kuvira vids on YouTube, but nothing I liked so far, and animemusicvideos.org's search is incredibly frustrating.

Currently on the list: [personal profile] feedingonwind's A New Day (Mariah, Luke Cage), [personal profile] shati's Hope on Fire (Mishil, Queen Seondeok), [personal profile] starlady's Shuang Nu (Wu Zetian, Detective Dee).
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[Apr. 23rd, 2017|09:35 pm]

sasha_feather
[Tags|, , , ]

--Visited a local computer fix-it store that has lots of plants and a dog in the store! They said that while the part is cheap, the labor for replacing the port is several hundred dollars. And there may be other things wrong with this computer too. Told them I'd think about it.

--Started watching Black Sails, which is violent as all hell but I like the queerness and the politicking and the glimpse into pirate society. They must use a filter that makes blue really shine, and there are plenty of blue-eyed actors on the show.

--Playing Dragon Age: Inquisition on the xbox 360.

--It's been about 3 months since my last nerve block (already!) so it's time for another one; but I won't be able to get in for the appt for another few weeks.
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More Spring Equinox 2017 Recs (Star Trek: DS9) [Apr. 23rd, 2017|10:14 pm]

aurumcalendula
[Tags|, , , ]

I Lived
I Lived by OneRepublic
Hope if everybody runs, you choose to stay.
 
This makes me want to rewatch the series again (all of these do, tbh)!


One Voice
One Voice by The Wailin' Jennys
This is the sound of one voice.

This is really beautiful!


Stand By Me
Stand By Me by Tracy Chapman
The Sisko family.
 
The Siskos!
 

Suddenly I See
Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall
Suddenly I see, this is what I wanna be
 
Kira and Jadzia are lovely and and I love how happy this is!
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Funny [Apr. 23rd, 2017|06:52 pm]

killabeez
[Tags|, ]

Catching up on The Voice, and there's a dude on here (Jack Cassidy, bless his heart) who sings the way I write sometimes, where I think I am maybe skating the edge of greatness, writing without a filter and letting it all hang out, but in actuality I just need to be patted on the head and sent home. ♥

I was just thinking about this the other day, that zone you get in where you're like, fuck it, I'm gonna stop self-censoring and just write what I feel, this is amazing, and then later you're like, WTF WAS THAT METAPHOR? I DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT.
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[Apr. 23rd, 2017|08:44 pm]

seekingferret
[Tags|]

Just watched an IA episode of a police procedural. And I was wondering- has anyone ever made a morally satisfying internal affairs episode on such a show? IA episodes have to be my least favorite trope of police procedurals because all police procedurals are morally bankrupt, or at least morally driven by the dictates of closing plots in 40 minutes or less. Yet we are still supposed to regard the protagonists as the heroes, or the premise of the show doesn't work. So an IA episode involves, for one 40 minute or sometimes 80 minute period, looking back at past episodes of the show from an external, absolutist moral lens. It makes no sense within the internal morality of the show, and given that as soon as the IA episode is cleared, usually by a deus ex machina that bestows no meaningful consequences on our heroes and often affirms their cloudy moral horizons as righteous, morality returns to amoral normal, it does not serve to create a new moral status quo.


Maybe the Wire achieves a successful IA storyline? I've only seen the first season, so I'm not sure, but I guess I could believe the Wire could pull it off because the Wire doesn't require us to think of the police as the heroes of the show and it doesn't require us rooting for their success.
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Recommendations for Spring Equinox 2017: Vids in Space! [Apr. 24th, 2017|05:08 am]

cupidsbow
[Tags|, , ]

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )
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How Yuri On Ice! saved my life [Apr. 23rd, 2017|01:41 pm]

kouredios
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Current Mood |jubilant]

Okay, so I've been a fan of the happy gay-ice-skaters anime since the first season dropped last fall/winter, but this week something shifted in my brain and I went full-tilt fannish about it.

Like, rewatching all 12 episodes 2-3 times over April vacation, reading ALL the fic, slowly moving from gen slice-of-life gap-fillers to the hardcore otayuri AUs where Yuri's a tattoo artist who wears stiletto boots and Otabek's a DJ with piercings in delicate places.

How/Why did this happen, you ask? Let me tell you analyze myself.

Preemptive cut, because this may get long, or at least image-heavy )
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one love [Apr. 23rd, 2017|03:28 pm]

oliviacirce
[Tags|, , ]

An extra poem for today (or for April 16), only a little bit because I was talking with a friend about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead the other day, and that play always makes me think of tennis. Tennis, and death possibly being a boat.

The International Open (Tennis Players vs. Poets) )
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Trying to round up gumption [Apr. 23rd, 2017|12:45 pm]

zulu
When I submit my thesis, I'll have three weeks before my defense. I think I will nap every day, zomg.
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stars and sunbeams [Apr. 23rd, 2017|02:07 pm]

oliviacirce
[Tags|, , , , , ]

Happy Shakespeare's Birthday!

Thou art free )
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