*hugs so, so tight* I'm going to back up what other people are saying. You are not alone. Everyone who hangs out online is looking for that sense of community or family or friendship that Rl isn't providing. And face it, every last one of us is a little fucked in the head. :) More than you'll ever know, I end up feeling like I don't belong...like I'm not wanted. And that's the worst one of all, isn't it? But it's not true. You're part of my online family. Just do what you have to to survive, and eventually you will beat this. And remember that you have friends here.