anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
Anoel ([personal profile] anoel) wrote2013-06-29 11:46 am
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Bad news.

So my mom died.

Yeah, I don't even know how to process that. My brother called me this morning to tell me. Apparently she hadn't been feeling well the last couple weeks and then this morning she collapsed on the kitchen floor. My brother and dad helped her to bed and said she thought she knew what was wrong (she's a nurse) and she needed some fruit. My brother went to get some and when he got back she wasn't breathing. He called 911 but it was too late and she died. They're not sure what was wrong, we'll find out the autopsy results tomorrow.

I'm still kind of in shock. I always thought my mom would live til at least 80, maybe even 100. She's really healthy for the most part and hasn't had any serious medical conditions. My dad was always the one I was worried about as he's pretty old, used to smoke and doesn't eat very healthy so I figured if I lost a parent, it was him I was going to lose. But my mom? She's in her 50s and there was no warning at all that something like this would happen. She's like the rock of the family, she deals with all the paperwork and keeps in touch with everyone especially since my dad doesn't have any relatives (that he knows of). Now I'm really scared he's going to die soon and I won't have any parents left :(

So I don't even know what happens now. My brother is dealing with a lot of the stuff in person back in NY right now and I'm going to fly home Wednesday night. I thankfully have Thursday and Friday off for July 4th so at least I'm not losing any work off of it and will hopefully get to attend the funeral and see my family and everything. It'll be good to hug everyone and see my cats again. I found out this morning at 9 and I've been crying a lot and trying to deal with all my emotions with all of this. It's so freaking unfair, I can't even. I just want my mom back :( Even if we never were super close, I could always talk to her about things and she helped me so much over the years. I miss her already. I wish I could have seen her before she died, it sucks that I haven't gotten to see her in person since she dropped me off at the airport last Christmas and I got to hug her one last time. We had a really good talk two weeks ago where I told her about my plans for the future and she got to hear about my new job more (going really well!) and just talk to her about life and say I love you and all that. So at least there's that.

If there's anything I can take from this is that really, ANYONE can die at any time. Don't put things off, tell people you love them and spend quality time with people you care about. It's made me want to stop putting off the things I want in most in life and work hard to create a good legacy with my short time on this earth. So please, don't take life for granted. It's precious.

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