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New vid: 30 (Multi-Fandom) [Aug. 24th, 2018|08:45 pm]

anoel
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Title: 30
Music: "Riot" by Paris Carney (brief dialogue from The Office)
Fandom: Multi
Summary: "There's a riot going on in my head" A self-portrait about my experience turning 30 years old using important media sources from my life.
Content Notes: None.
Notes: Made for From There to Here at Vividcon 2018 as my last vid to show at the con. Thanks to [personal profile] lola for the beta and encouragement!
Download Link: 30 (79MB MP4)
AO3



I began working on this vid in the fall of 2016 when I was dealing with depression (I thought it was situational but it was deeper than that) and thought it would be interesting to see if I could find a way to vid what I was going through. I was turning 29 which made turning 30 real to me and I began to realize that I wasn't even close to achieving what I wanted to create: a happy life with a great career, romantic partner, best friends and satisfaction with who I am as a person. I've been an ambitious, idealistic person since I was a kid and not living up to my expectations for myself at an age where I thought I would have made some real progress with my life was terrible for me (ie wasted potential). I started with using some clips from my favorite vids (later I remastered them with actual show footage) and important shows to me that stood out to me with the lyrics and what I wanted to show and as time went on, I would return to the vid and keep adding clips to it. It helped me a lot to process my emotions (basically viddding as therapy) as I felt that least my bad feelings could create something beautiful.

I wanted to make a few comments on the clips and general arc of the vid since it's so personal that not everything might come through. First of all, Matilda was an important book/movie to me growing up as I was a big reader who felt alone (and later bullied) so it was important to me to start with that and the quote is from The Office from a child talking to Michael Scott and I always connected deeply to it in my life even ten years ago. I've spent a lot of nights curled up in a ball on my bed crying about my life so I strongly related to those clips in the vid and also love climbing up ledges like Brian and Root, not to jump (although safely that's fun) but to feel the adrenaline of being up high and trying to figure out what to do. When I showed Rebecca quitting her job and Buffy leaving town, I wanted to show how I tend to leave jobs and places in hopes I can find something that makes me happy even though it's usually an internal mental health issue (what I didn't realize before).

I wanted to use the clip of Fraser reaching out to the train because a vid meta post impacted me that talked about how that shot meant desperately wanting something and would mean that in any context so I wanted to use it to show me trying to find romance even when it always leads to rejection and heartbreak for me. I knew I had to include something about my mom dying and how terrible it was for me and how I still wish I had her in my life a lot so I put in clips that reminded me of that including the Buffy episode I watched the day I found out she died. I used effects on the Lex violently hitting something clip which was meant to replicate the effects in [personal profile] sisabet's Without You I'm Nothing vid, which I've always loved and related to and showed that frustration I felt at the unfairness of the world. I wanted to use effects in the vid (such as glows) to highlight the emotion/mood from the source and also as a way to show my vidding progress in being able to use effects since the vid was for the From There to Here vidshow (first vid shown at Vividcon and then the last one).

Finally at the end of the vid, I wanted to show how vidding is a form of creative outlet for processing my life and emotions and how it can turn grief into beauty especially the happiness I get from showing my vids at Vividcon. I wanted to use clips from one of my favorite parts of the vid, Out Here by [personal profile] heresluck (who also made my favorite vid, Superstar and clips from that are also featured throughout the vid) where Fraser steps toward the light to the decision to make something good happen and walk towards something unknown (how my vid will turn out/will others will like it) as it was always powerful imagery for me (and I relate a lot to Fraser). The last clip is based on a classic vid meta post, The Life Cycle of Vid and Vidder by [personal profile] luminosity in regards to #22, "God, I'm depressed. Post vid letdown. It's almost like giving birth." wherein by creating my vid, it's like creating a child (maybe a cat baby? ;)) symbolically to create something new from other components including my own life, clips from the media and songs.

I knew not everyone would get some or even most of the vid in the context of my life but I hoped people could empathize with certain parts and that I could show how my favorite media is intricately entwined with my life from my youth (The Lion King) to the current shows I watch. As I like to say, I was born a fangirl and I will die a fangirl, and I'm glad I'm able to create vids from that passion. Thankfully, I was able to find the right antidepressants after I turned 30 and it has made me so much happier including better self-esteem and self-confidence so that most of the vid no longer applies to my life even if I am still working towards creating the life I desire. But I'm glad I made it as a time capsule to issues I've struggled with and that still occasionally come up as well as a chance to be vulnerable and reveal more about myself directly in my art instead of using fictional characters to show it more indirectly (which is also wonderful!!).
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Brief Pre-Vividcon Update [Aug. 8th, 2018|05:51 am]

anoel
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I’m soooo excited about going to Vividcon tomorrow!!! I’ll be at the hotel around 9am on Thursday and leaving around 3pm on Monday. I made 4 vids and I can’t wait to see the 150 (!!!) premiering vids and see so many people I love and talk about vids and CLUB VIVID! I wanted to post a brief update about what I’ve been up to lately as things have changed.

-I did some freelance research assistant work for the first half of the year (hmu if you’re a professor etc and want some help) and rediscovered my love of coding through learning R.
-I went to TGIF/F in LA and had fun talking about femslash and watchng/dancing to femslash vids and seeing amazing people.
-I struggled a lot with depression and loneliness and finally decided to try a med my friend was on and take a high dosage of it (in time) and after 4 weeks, I was the happiest I’ve been since I was 14 years old. So yeah, I figured out I’ve wasted 15 years of my life being low grade depressed which is why I haven’t had the energy to achieve my goals. On the bright side, I actually have high self-esteem and high confidence now and I fully believe I can make my dreams come true.
-I did some babysitting for a friend which made me realize I love working with kids and want to pursue it as a career. I love helping take care of kids and loving them as well as helping them learn and I love reading everything about the topic. Thankfully NYC needs a lot of help with all the working parents.
-I went to Wiscon for the first time and had an amazing time hanging out with friends and going to the vidshow. I got to meet chaila finally! The Black Panther and Get Out (the one horror movie I like) panels were amazing!
-I searched for a full time childcare job and found a great one in Scarsdale taking care of an 8 year old girl and 12 year old girl which I started at the end of the July. After 2 weeks, they let me go not because of anything I did but because they hadn’t realized they needed a lot less hours and mostly housekeeping/driving. I was super upset as I had been happy at the job for the first time ever and was depressed this last weekend. But I applied to some other places in the last few days, have some scheduled interviews (including 3 today) and am excited about some of the jobs even if they pay less.
-I have an online business idea I’m really excited about and I’m going to be working on it a lot in the next year so I can try to make some extra money that I can use for savings.
-Due to the help of my anti-depressants, I’ve lost some weight as I feel much less need to emotionally eat and they help tone down my hunger. I’m im the decade I want to stay in although I’m going to need to body recomp to gain muscle for American Ninja Warrior training. It’s been slow and steady but I’m seeing real progress.

So that’s where I am at the moment as well as enjoying spending more time with my brother, Dad, cousin snd her kids since they live close to NYC. I’ve had less time for fandom lately but still keep up with some shows (watch Killing Eve!!!) and vidding fandom. If you want to hang out at Vividcon, just let me know!

YAY VIVIDCON!
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End of the Year Meme 2017 [Dec. 30th, 2017|07:13 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |productive]
[Current Music |"Hey Summer" by Erin Bowman]

Brief life update time: The depression has been on and off for the last two months but I'm feeling better currently although it was pretty bad a couple days ago. I'm doing some freelance work which has been going really well and helping with money. I'm still really lonely and wish I was in a romantic relationship.

End of the Year Meme 2017 )

If you're looking for a movie to watch, I highly recommend Call Me By Your Name! It's so beautiful and emotional <3
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End of the Year Meme 2016 [Dec. 31st, 2016|10:01 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |"Laughing in the Sugarbowl" by The Veronicas]

This was a tough year for me personally as well as for the world but I come out of it even more grateful for all my friends and for fandom so thank you to everyone who was there for me in any small way and I wish everyone a happy new year and the best possible 2017!

End of the Year Meme 2016 )

I'm not going to do the End of the Year Fandom meme right now as I'm out of time and it's kind of complicated at the moment. I miss having a fandom OTP right now and am hoping I will find something in 2017.
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Vividcon 2016 Con Report (Part 2) [Aug. 20th, 2016|02:05 am]

anoel
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Here's my Vividcon 2016 Con Report (Part 1) here.

I tried remembering everything as best I can but if I made any mistakes, feel free to correct me! This goes for anything as I'd always like to improve :)

Vividcon Con Report 2016 (Part 2) )

Thank you again to all the amazing people that made my Vividcon so wonderful and amazing and for all the people who helped put the con together, worked on programming and submitted vids. It was funny that there was a panel at the con about letting go because it felt like a lot of the con was an exercise in letting go for me: letting go of my expectations, my nerves, FOMO, my hopes that everything would go perfectly and instead just savoring all the good moments, allowing myself to be vulnerable and making deeper connections from it, doing the best I could even when things were hard, loving the vids and community all around me. In the end, life is too fucking short to focus on the bad stuff so I tried my best to be happy at all the good things this con gave me this year and all the ways it has enhanced my life. I love Vividcon so much and I'm so glad I've gotten to enjoy it with so many different beautiful, amazing people and that is so incredibly meaningful.
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Vividcon 2016 Con Report (Part 1) [Aug. 20th, 2016|02:01 am]

anoel
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[Current Music |VVC vids (I've gone through like 4 playlists writing this lol)]
[Current Mood |accomplished]
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So I'm back from Vividcon 2016 and as always, I had an amazing time. It was probably the weirdest Vividcon I've ever been to (personally) and an emotional roller coaster throughout but I had a lot of fun and it was wonderful to see so many friends again (even though I missed others who weren't there). There were so many incredible vids this year and I am constantly amazed by the creativity, brilliance and talent of the vidding community and so happy to be a part of it.

I tried remembering everything as best I can but if I made any mistakes, feel free to correct me! This goes for anything as I'd always like to improve :)

Vividcon Con Report 2016 (Part 1) )

TBC here
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End of the Year Meme 2015 [Dec. 31st, 2015|07:34 pm]

anoel
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So before I go into the end of the year meme, I want to talk a little about the RL stuff that happened this year that led to some of my answers in this meme.

Year of 2015 general thoughts )

End of the Year Meme )
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Eurotrip 2013 Report [Sep. 19th, 2014|05:59 pm]

anoel
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I'm sorry I'm so late on finally reporting about my Europe trip last November as I started the first half of the report while in Europe but then procrastinated on writing it later until now when I couldn't put it off any longer. It's coming up on almost a year since my trip to Europe last November when I visited London, Ireland, Paris, Berlin, Rome, Brussels, Munich and other places in Europe. I wanted to write down as much as I can so in the future when I start forgetting more details, I could look back and remember from this report. I took a lot of pictures but am putting most of those on Facebook and it'll take too much time to upload them but if anyone who doesn't have me on there wants to see them, just ask. I don't expect most people to read all of this but feel free if you'd like :)

Eurotrip 2013 Report )

Overall I had an amazing trip and I'm so happy I had the oppurtunity to go to Europe and experience it for myself. I've wanted to see Europe and experience another part of the world for a long time and the trip was super helpful in helping me stop feel the intense wanderlust I had been feeling for 7 years or so even as it made me want to explore other countries as well as go back to Europe in the future. It was a learning experience for me to deal with being in unfamiliar countries with languages I didn't know and to have to get from one place to another by myself for a month. There was definitely some lonely moments and it helped make me realize I like traveling with other people for trips longer than a week but it also gave me a chance to reconnect with friends who live in other countries. It was super great to finally see so many big landmarks that I had seen in the media for years and get a chance to see them in person as well as falling in love with the city of Rome. Being away from everything and having so much alone time also helped me question what I want to do with my life and who I am and helped make me even more purposeful in wanting to leave a big career impact in the world. It gave me a stronger love of Europe that made it even easier for me to get into the World Cup this summer while at the same time giving me an appreciation for things I love about living in America. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience that changed my life and I'm glad I was finally able to travel the world and have an ultimately satisfying trip. If anyone else is thinking about traveling, I highly recommend it!
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Beginning of the school year!...Kind of [Sep. 1st, 2014|04:17 pm]

anoel
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Even though I'm not in school right now, the beginning of September always feels like a new beginning to me. It seems like a good time to share my plans for the rest of the year and the time to come as I finally have some ideas of what I want to do.

First a catchup of the last three months. In May, I went to a fun Ingrid Michaelson concert with [livejournal.com profile] beerbad and had a great time listening to some of my favorite songs. Mother's Day was pretty sad and I tried to avoid the media but eventually gave in and just scrolled through and watched some sad TV shows and cried some. One of the most fun things I did was go to Malibu State Park and go to this little pond (not sure what the right word is here) where they had cliff jumping rocks and I went to the highest one (about 30 feet) and jumped off of it. It was SO fun and I had been feeling kind of meh about the world and it gave me an adrenaline rush that made me feel happy and full of hope again. I just love feeling like I'm flying and being that high in the air, I really felt like I was in the air on the way down and it felt amazing. I also went to a fun Harry Potter roller skating event where there was a ton of people dressed up and they played Harry Potter songs and it was just really fun even though at the end the music was meh so I put on my headphones and listened to shippy songs for my favorite couples (mostly Kane/Toews). I went to a Memorial Day BBQ with other geeky/fannish type people and had fun playing Cards Against Humanity and talking various TV shows with people. I had a lot of fun going to see the Chicago Blackhawks play the Los Angeles Kings at the Staples Center in my first live hockey game and I was lucky enough to see it with [livejournal.com profile] celli and get to see Toews score a goal right in front of me. [livejournal.com profile] celli and I had a lot of fun talking hockey and various real life stuff after the game and it was fun getting a chance to get to know her better. I also went to see a screening of the Mindy Project season finale and got to see a cast Q&A and later got to meet Mindy Kaling for the fourth time - and she remembered who I was for the third time ever. It was pretty cool and she even took a selfie of her and me. I also went to my second cousin's bridal shower and got to catch up with that side of my family and got to see my grandma's sister as well which was nice and I'm looking forward to going to his wedding in November.

In June, I spent a lot of time finishing my Femslash Premiere and my Premieres vid for Vividcon which was a bit stressful but I was ultimately able to finish by the deadline. I was also following the NBA draft and super happy when my favorite player, Tyler Ennis was selected 18th in the draft and another Syracuse player, Jerami Grant went to the Philadelphia 76ers which has a Syracuse player, Michael Carter-Williams who just won Rookie of the Year and who I slash with his friend on the team, Nerlens Noel so I'm looking forward to OT3ing them together. I also started watching the World Cup, following it seriously for the first time ever and fell in love with the USA team, most of all the coach, Jurgen Klinsmann. Jurgen who was a big star in Europe who won the World Cup with Germany in 1990, coached the German team to a 3rd place finish in 2006 (in Germany) but who loves the USA and lives there with his family so he decided to coach the USA team in 2011 and is attempting to turn the team around so it can eventually win the World Cup with the men's team. I really love what he's trying to do and his personality and I have a lot of hope that he can help us win it all so I began to follow the US team and was in ecstasy after we beat Ghana and went to a USA bar for the Portugal game with [livejournal.com profile] cenedrawood and was SO HAPPY when USA came back from a 0-1 deficit to be winning 2-1...only to lose in the last thirty seconds in one of the most heartbreaking sports moments ever for me. Thankfully we still had another game against Germany where Jurgen was coaching against his friend, Joachim Löm (who was his assistant coach when he coached Germany) and since I ship them together (thanks to [livejournal.com profile] caesaria), it was an entertaining game for me if terrifying. We lost by one but were still able to make it out of the group stages where we played Belgium which I don't even want to talk about because I'm still super bitter and prefer to think about how Tim Howard made 15 saves and Julian Green scored a goal on his first touch even though he's only 19 years old and was another young player that people complained about being on the roster and yet was one of the many players to prove that Jurgen knew what he was doing cause he's an amazing coach <3 Anyways, I started out rooting for Brazil (because they were at home, it meant a lot to them and they spent so much money at least they could get SOMETHING out of it), Germany, England, Italy and I also added the Netherlands after I saw their first game against Spain and enjoyed watching Robben and van Persie play. Eventually Germany and Netherlands were my favorite teams as after watching a documentary about the 2006 German team and falling in love with Robben as a player I wish I could be like, I emotionally connected with them, plus it helped that both teams did super well.

In July, I was really into basketball as the NBA summer league started and all the new rookies, 2nd year players and undrafted players trying to get a spot on rosters were playing and I watched the 76ers team do well in Orlando with my guy, Jerami Grant. The major summer league was in Las Vegas though and I decided to go to Vegas, buy tickets for the games (they're cheap) and let out my basketball feelings while trying to meet some of my favorite Syracuse players since many of them were going to be there. I had an amazing time, getting autographs and talking to Tyler Ennis, Rakeem Christmas (current SU player), Jerami Grant, Michael Carter-Williams, Baye Moussa Keita and Brandon Triche (former SU players) as well as watching a ton of players play for their teams. Unfortunately my car had some issues so I stayed longer than I wanted to but I also had fun hanging out with n0apologies (twitter) who I had met at Wincon and we had a great time talking about our lives, Adam Lambert, Queer as Folk and other fannish topics. I was also there duing the World Cup final and went to a bar to watch Germany play Argentina where thankfully Germany won and I was SO HAPPY as Jogi Low and the team had come soooo close to winning in the last 8 years and always came up a little short so I was super happy for the team to finally win it all and I just had such a fun time celebrating, happy crying and joining in the celebrations at the German bar.

Finally I got back to LA and had fun going to [livejournal.com profile] elipie's karaoke birthday party and then going to a Lady GaGa concert with her where we won free seat upgrades and got to hang in the VIP lounge with free drinks and hang out with hot half-naked boys while we could easily see Lady GaGa especially when she came over to the platform right above us. It was super fun getting to hear her sing some of her classic songs and she's an amazing performer so we had a fun time singing her songs and enjoying the performance. At the end of July, I went back home to Syracuse where I spent some time with my dad, caught up with my best friend and hung out with my cats at home. I also drove down to Pennsylvania to visit my cousin's family and spend some time with my aunt. My cousin is starting her own business so I spent a little bit of time at her shop and we also went with her family and my aunt to one of my favorite amusement parks where we used to go almost every year as a kid so it was very nostalgic to be back there again. Speaking of nostalgia, I also went to visit my childhood elementary school and was bummed to see they tore down the playground I had loved although they are building a new one, it's not the same. After that, I went to Vividcon which I'll talk about in a different post but the Wednesday after that, I had an amazing time going to Six Flags Magic Mountain with [livejournal.com profile] elipie getting a chance to talk about Vividcon, new vidding ideas and other fannish stuff.

This summer I had planned on taking some courses related to college admission counseling but after a couple of days trying to take them, I realized my heart wasn't in them as I wasn't sure yet whether that's what I wanted to do as it might not be big enough for me career-wise. Thankfully I was able to get a full refund and another thing that affected my decision was a revelation I had thought of while reading books about colleges. I kept having regrets while reading on how I wish I had gotten a true college experience and had gone to a more intellectual school when I realized - I could still do that. There was a college I had first heard about in high school called St. John's College that covered in four years, many of the so called Great Books but without lectures, it's all discussion based or laboratory based as they cover science using classic experiments and original texts for everything. Two of the most interesting aspects is learning Ancient Greek and learning math from classic books like Euclid's Elements which I've always wanted to do to understand more of where the English language comes from and understand the basis of math which I've always though could be interesting in the right context. The college is pretty intense but that's exactly what I want, a place where people want to read and think about some of life's biggest questions by reading some of the most enduring books many of which I've always wanted to read and just needed some more structure and people to discuss them with. I feel like my intellectual development has been pretty stunted the last seven years and I know I need to take a big leap to become the person I've always wanted to be and this college is the perfect way to take my communication skills both written and oral to the next level. I am an ambitious person and I have big dreams of doing things to change the world but I need to build a strong foundation so that I can accomplish that so I think I need to take a risk to go to this college and become the person I want to be.

During the summer I started working on my application which consists of three essays talking about why I want to go to the college, a book that has influenced me and a significant experience that has left an impact on me and I'm working on finishing that up by the end of this month. The college has a January program that I'm looking to get accepted at where by going to school over the summer, I'll be all caught up with the freshman year program and will be a regular sophomore by the time next September comes around (but thankfully I will get a summer vacation right before the first potential Vividcon weekend). The college gives good financial aid so I'm not too worried about the money aspect, the bigger opportunity cost for me is the time but I think the education I'm getting will be worth it and I'll be doing part time jobs, volunteer work and internships during the school years and summer to help me figure out the best work for me to do after college and I always have a backup job as a programmer as well. One of the biggest negatives is the college is in Santa Fe and although the weather is not too much colder than LA (averaging 45-85 plus like 6 snow days blech), it'll still be a big adjustment leaving the city (and friends!) I love to be in a much smaller city with less things to do (although Albuquerque is only 45 minutes away and Denver/Phoenix are semi-close too). But I think it's worth it for this oppurtunity that I can't get anywhere else and I feel like I'll always regret it and wonder what if, if I decided not to do go. Plus I'll definitely be visiting LA during breaks, Escapade and during my free summers so I think I'll be able to survive. Another concern is the book list is not that diverse but I know there are book groups there that cover more classic books written by women, minorities and Eastern writers so I'll be sure to be reading them. Something I'm excited about is they have a lot of sports intramurals so I'll still be able to play soccer, tennis and there's lots of nature for hiking and even rock climbing. Most importantly, I'll finally get to have a true college experience and make lots of new friends as even though the college is small, people are very self-selected towards the kind of people I tend to get along with (minus your obligatory pretentious arrogant idiots) so I'm looking forward to that. It'll be a big life change for me but I think this is the best step I can make in working on becoming who I want to be and for my development to being able to help the world solve the major problems we're facing.

I originally was applying for this fall semester but I was having a hard time being ready for that so I decided to wait til January although I have a plan for what I will be doing in LA until then. A friend recommended to me a friend of hers who has a philosophy PHD and is willing to meet with me to go over classic texts that I want to start reading this fall so I can have some accountability and someone to discuss things with to prepare me for St. John's College. I'm planning on working on doing more reading (besides fanfic of course) this fall as I sample many books from nonfiction to fiction in many genres. I'm going to be focusing especially about reading books about California and LA as I want to work on solving problems in the state and want to become more knowledgeable about the issues surrounding the state. I also am going to be doing some volunteering with various organizations to learn more about LA and start figuring out what exactly I would enjoy doing for jobs. I also have a part time job I'll be working on to earn some extra money. Another big goal of mine for this fall is to start seriously trying to date while I still have time in LA which should hopefully give me more motivation to do it. I'm also continuing to work on improving my Spanish through Duolingo and translating Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone from Spanish to English using my Kindle App Spanish to English dictionary. And I definitely want to spend more time with my friends in Los Angeles while I'm still here.

Another big focus for me this fall is heath and fitness as I'd like to lose about 15-20 pounds before the end of this year. I signed up for an accountability type service which has been good with keeping me on track with my eating and exercise goals. Something inspiring for me was watching Kacey Cantanzaro complete the city finals course for American Ninja Warrior, an obstacle course competition where participants can win 500k for winning the finals course in Las Vegas. That inspired me to look into parkour and rock climbing which are two training aspects that some of the best competitors do. I figured that even if I don't make it, it'd be a fun goal to try to train for the course as it looks really fun and it's something that anyone can accomplish even if they don't have a lot of training when they were younger (unlike most sports). Thankfully there is a parkour (more accurately, freerunning) gym in the LA area and I've already taken two beginner lessons there and had fun practicing in the opening gym sessions. So far it's pretty basic, working on vaulting over objects and precision jumping, jumping from one ledge to another but it's been really fun and a great workout and I look forward to being able to do the crazy workouts I see in the gym. I was super scared about doing a flip from the high ledge into the pit (filled with soft foam stuff) but finally managed to gather my courage and did as well as do some flips on the trampoline. I also attempted to run up the warped wall they have in the gym and tried to jump from one bar to another (not there yet). I've also been into soccer as I really enjoy team sports so I signed up for a three days a week soccer class at my local community college and although it's a bit intimidating as it's all guys except one other girl and many of them want to compete on the soccer team at the college, so far I've been having fun playing (minus getting blisters on my feet from my new cleats). I even scored a goal during a game! We've been mostly just playing games which was a bit disappointing as I hoped to practice some skills work as well but it's been fun and I've been learning a lot even if it's been pretty hot playing during the summer. I've also been keeping up with my strength training workouts since March and been continually adding more weight to my lifts. Food is always tough for me as I hate cooking and love delicious food but I've been making a lot of progress and have lost three pounds so far.

I can't wait for the new TV season! I've been watching some of the trailers for the new shows and have added a few shows that I'm going to check out this fall. While A to Z has a couple of annoying things about it, it also features the Mother from HIMYM and as soul destroying it is seeing her, the show looks really cute and right up my romantic loving alley with the whole matchmaking element. I'm also excited for How to Get Away With Murder as Viola Davis looks amazing in it, the premise sounds fun and deliciously messed up and I will always trust Shonda Rhimes to do crazy things. I'm also going to check out Utopia which fascinates me as I've always loved thinking about how to create the perfect society although the reality show format makes me keep my expectations down. I am also looking forward to checking out Survivor's Remorse which is about a BASKETBALL PLAYER (!!!) who becomes successful and must deal with everything that comes with it which sounds super fun for me to vicariously see that side of things and is produced by Lebron James (who I've come to not hate since he went back to Cleveland) so I'm very curious to check it out. I kind of wish I could watch The Flash because the lead actor is a guy I found SUPER hot on Glee (Sebastian!) but I've sworn off all superhero shows unless it features a female/PoC lead so I'll just be checking out Agent Carter. Mostly I'm going to be listening to friends and critics to see if there are any high quality shows I should check out. I'm really looking forward to The Mindy Project, Faking It and Scandal coming back especially the first two as they feature two of my favorite ships. I'm mostly planning on using the fall to continue to catch up with some well written shows I haven't watched yet including Deadwood which I MUST finish by the end of the year. On the movie side of things, this summer I LOVED Maleficent (Maleficent/Aurora all the way!), enjoyed X-Men: Days of Future Past and am looking forward to seeing The Hunger Games 3, The Hobbit 3 and Annie (love the trailer!). On the sports side of things, my new soccer team is Bayern Munich since they have my favorite player, Arjen Robben, lots of German players from the national team like Müller, Neuer and Götze and my fave USA guy, Julian Green (although he's on loan to Hamburg this year) so I already have an emotional investment in them and will be watching all their games. I'm casually following the English Premier League (mostly for my USA/Germany people) and some college football as well and will be checking out my usual NFL teams this fall (although I'm still super bitter there's no LA team) such as the Bills, 49ers, Giants, Chargers and Jets. We'll see timewise what happens as once NBA seasons starts in late October and Syracuse basketball in November, most of my attention will go to that because YAY BASKETBALL. Hockey will be back in October as well and I will check out some Chicago games sometimes.

Super excited for Festivids! I have about 6 possible nominations at the moment although I worry about qualification for a couple of them but I'm excited about them and the vid ideas I want to make already. Before I get my assignment though, I need to start working on my Escapade vid as that's going to require a time committment and I have another vid idea I want to make for next year that I need to get started on clipping right now to get it done in time for VVC. I have another vid that's almost done that I should hopefully post in the next week as well. I have a couple ideas that require me to stretch my skills that I'm really excited about even if it'll be a challenge, it should be fun to do. Other fun fandom-y things coming up is a bunch of NorCal (and elsewhere) fangirls are planning a Fandom Beach Vacation where we rent a beach house and just hang out all day and I'm so excited to hang out with my fandom friends in November :) I also need to plan out what to do for my birthday in October this year, I have an idea and need to check if it's realistic. I still can't believe I'm going to be 27...is that officially late 20s? Eek. But hopefully with all the plans I have in place, I'll be ready to enjoy this time in my life shortly!
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2013 End of the Year Meme [Dec. 31st, 2013|01:01 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |"One Day Late" vid]

Here is my annual end of the year meme:

End of the Year Meme )
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[Oct. 11th, 2013|01:24 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |Roommates]
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[Current Mood |cheerful]

So today is my 26th birthday! It is interesting doing it this year at Wincon surrounded by fangirls, so much fun to talk fandom with everyone. This morning we went down to the breakfast buffet which is amazing and had lots of delicious food and got to talk with our group of eight fangirls. I also got to get a big hug from [personal profile] cee_m who I haven't seen since a Vividcon awhile ago and it was great to see her again. I then went inside for the first panel but got distracted by getting stickers for my badge. I got a Harry sticker, a LIONESS sticker, a robot, a 1D group, some birthday stickers and a lion sticker so now my badge is a good representation of me :) I caught the end of the Fandom Grieving panel and then got to talk a bit to someone about The Walking Dead finale and how it got me to rage quit watching the show. I also got to meet with [personal profile] colls who I didn't know was coming and it was great to reconnect with her since she missed the last Vividcon. We both went to the Fairy Tales panel and got to talk a bit before the panel about OUAT and a few other shows. I was surprised the panel didn't bring up Swan Queen and I didn't put up my hand quick enough before we moved onto the next fandom.

Now I'm hanging out in my room with other fans and we had fun talking about tags in fandom and a few other things including the Benedict AMA. I'm looking forward to a bunch of panels today like the Kinks, Poly and Incest (I WILL be talking Jaime/Cersei and GoT, of course) panels. Then we have a vidshow with my premiering vid and then we're going to the Gordon Ramsey restaurant and I'm going to get some cake for my birthday. I'm super excited for Once More With Feeling and Rocky Horror Show tonight as I've never seen them with a group.

It's weird to be 26 and now closer to 30 than 25. It's been a weird year with high highs and low lows. I've learned and grown a lot and am so thankful to have such amazing family and friends. Thank you to everyone reading for being there for me and helping to support me. I'm looking forward to the ne t year of my life as I'm going to follow my dreams and try to do more of the things that make me happy. Here's to having an awesome year being 26!
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Glee 503..."I always thought I'd see you again" [Oct. 10th, 2013|10:09 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |"Seasons of Love" by the Glee Cast]

Some thoughts on Glee along with thoughts about my mom:

Spoilers for Glee 503 )

In other news, Vegas has been awesome so far! I've had a lot of fun hanging out with Bay Area fans and talking about fandom and life. We went to a Penn and Teller show on Wednesday and today I went to the Strasophere and rode the ride at the top and then rode the New York, New York roller coaster. Tomorrow is my birthday and the first day of the con so I can't wait!
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Off to Vegas! [Oct. 9th, 2013|01:45 pm]

anoel
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So I'm heading off to Vegas for Wincon! I'm super excited, it's going to be so much fun. On the way, I'm going to stop in Primm to ride the Desperado which is this awesome roller coaster with a huge drop so I'm super excited about that. I also can't wait to ride some thrill rides in Vegas, should be fun!

Some big news before I go: I quit my job so I now finally have some free time to work on my own coding and vidding projects. Instead of a one week trip, I'm going to be going to Europe throughout November so if you're in the area, let me know if you want to hang out! Will probably just spend extra time in London and Paris but may add an extra city or two. I reeeeally can't wait! In December, I'm going back to my parent's house and I'm going to spend some time with my dad, aunt and cousin and her family. It'll be really great to have some more time with them and I also want to help out with going through my mom's stuff and organizing some of my own. Then in January I'll come back to LA and go back to college. I'm really excited to finally finish my degree, it's like my Mount Everest and I really need to finish climbing it for myself.

I can't believe I'm turning 26 in two days. It's been a weird year but hopefully should get better from here!
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Yay October! And September update [Oct. 1st, 2013|11:46 am]

anoel
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[Current Mood |excited]

Happy October everyone! As I posted on Twitter, I'm really excited about this month because it's my birthday month and I have some super fun stuff planned in store. This coming weekend, I'm going to see Gravity with a friend of mine after we do some hiking and on Sunday I'm going to see Maroon 5 (and Kelly Clarkson) in concert!! Soooo excited as I've fallen in love with Adam Levine after watching him being a hilarious, competitive, adorable dork on The Voice who can't stop flirting and being in love with Blake Shelton. HAVE I MENTIONED THEY ARE SUCH BOYFRIENDS??? Who say things like, "I would never cheat on you Blake?" THAT IS A THING THAT HAPPENED.

Ahem. I'm getting ahead of myself. The weekend after that or rather, pre-weekend on October 9th in the evening I'm driving to Las Vegas to go to Wincon! I'm going to be rooming with some awesome SF people and I'm looking forward to seeing [personal profile] nikibee again along with [personal profile] cee_m and many others! October 11 (friday) is my birthday and there will be fannish panels, hanging out with fannish people, a VIDSHOW (of which I have two vids, one premiering), Once More with Feeling and Rocky Horror Show screenings and hopefully a drunken birthday party full of fangirls. I'm sooooo excited! Plus I'm totally going to ride that roller coaster I saw last time. I am going to be going back early Sunday morning but that's because I have tickets to see the Blind Auditions (ie Adam/Blake FLIRTING NONSTOP) of The Voice with [personal profile] elipie! I can't wait!! Other fun things I'm planning on doing is getting a tattoo on my right ankle. It's my first tattoo as I've wanted one for a long time but could never justify the expense. It's going to be Nala from The Lion King like in my main icon. I figure I've been a fangirl of it for 21 years, I think it's a forever thing plus I've always felt my spirit animal, what I've been in another life, etc is a lioness so it's really important to me. The biggest thing for me is I'm going to go skydiving! It's always been in the top 3 things I want to do in my life since I love flying and want to feel like I am if only briefly. Will probably save it towards the end of the month.

A month ago I had an amazing time Labor Day Weekend getting to hang out with [personal profile] nikibee in the Bay Area. We watched Game of Thrones, Teen Wolf and Parks and Recreation and had a vidparty where we watched Vividcon vids with [personal profile] franzeska (who I had a great talk with!), Alice, Michelle, Dani and I think that's all? It was so much fun! We (Nicole, Alice and Michelle) also went to Oakland Pride and got to see En Vogue in concert and it was so great to get a chance to have some good talks with [personal profile] nikibee all weekend. I also went back to San Francisco near where I used to live and work and got to have lunch with someone from Dev Bootcamp which I also visited and got to talk to the founder who changed my life with letting me go to it. Unfortunately I left my favorite hoodie there and haven't been able to get it back :( I also visited the Berkeley campus which is SO BEAUTIFUL! Probably the prettiest one I've ever seen, it's like half nature reserve. Finally I went to a Haven party [personal profile] franzeska (who else? ;)) was throwing and got to say goodbye for a couple hours before I had to leave to catch my flight. Gotta say Southwest was awesome, they gave me a better seat when I complained I didn't know I had to check in for the return flight. It was a super fun weekend and I'm so glad I went!

Other than that, I've been working a lot. We had a big deadline a few weeks ago before our company presented a website at a conference. Some of the weeks I worked on interesting things and that was fun especially getting to pair with my mentor here but a couple weeks I didn't like what I was working on and kept getting distracted by the internetz at work which was less fun. We did go bowling last week as the conference went awesome and that was really fun! I've also been running more and I paid for a personal trainer so I can actually get a REAL strength training workout and that has helped a LOT with developing some muscles. I've always wanted to do chinups so that's my long term goal. I've been thinking about running a marathon next year as I need a big running goal to get me inspired to run more and I want to beat my last time (5.5 hours) and hopefully have a rain free experience. I've been eating a lot cleaner lately and did lose a little weight but got a little bored with it and regressed last week. No worries though, I varied my diet up and am doing better now. If there's anything I learned in the past it's not to give up and let little backslides trip you up.

The big news is I've decided to quit my job soon and go back to college to finally finish my degree. It's something I've always wanted to do and I've had enough of a taste of the real world working on something I kind of like but not love (even with the nice money benefits!) to want to go back to school and work on finding what I really want to do with my life. I'm going to continue study programming on my own and help code for the AO3 along with working on personal projects I'm hoping will lead to possible job opportunities or at least direction. I'm going to go back to community college for Spring 2014 and I'll be applying in the next two months to UCLA, CSULA and CSULB as a Philosophy major. Yes, Philosophy because I've loved the courses I've taken in it, I've always wanted to learn it and it requires a very low amount of credits so I can graduate fast as I'm aiming for May/June 2015. I'm also planning on volunteering at College Track during the time and maybe seeing if after I graduate I can get a job there or at a similar organization. Or maybe I'll do another programming job to save money/pay off debts, I don't know, we'll see.

Let's see...a couple weeks ago, [personal profile] elipie came over to watch vids, vid and talk with [personal profile] jetpack_monkey and I and it was a lot of fun! I've been trying to go to more meetups lately to meet new people and feel less lonely and so I went to a happy hour and met some cool people DTLA and also went to a hiking group last Saturday where I had some good talks with a couple people. The weekend before that I went hiking with my friend, Jen who has turned out to be one of my closest friends in LA even though she's a bit older than me. She used to be in a rock band but now is learning to program so we hang out a good amount to do that. But we hiked in Griffith Park and had a really long talk about life, fun things in our history and the future which was really great.

I've been missing my mom a lot lately. I didn't fully appreciate that when I felt lonely and couldn't reach any of my friends to talk, I could always call my mom and know she'd be there for me. It's just tough sometimes and earlier in the month I was feeling really lonely. I think of her every day whether in small moments or longer memories and it just hurts a lot. I just really wish she was back again :( Last Sunday was the three month anniversary of her death and it feels so far away and yet so close like I can vividly remember getting the call that she had died. I called my dad the other day and it was good to talk to him and hear he's doing well especially after my brother freaked me out saying he couldn't get a hold of him. I'm still terrified he's going to die, I just heard that statistically spouses are more likely to die after one of them dies so even with my dad's health issues, it's even scarier. I'm really looking forward to going back to see him for the holidays and my cousin and aunt as well, both who've been there for me a lot. I went to a meetup last Saturday with a group that's about women who've lost their mothers and it was really helpful talking to other people like me there. Someone said that the worst part is even if you have other people who help fill the hole your mother left, it's not the same as having MY mother there, she's mine and no one is mine in that way. And that's totally how I feel. It was helpful though and we got to smash plates and mugs to help let out the anger :)

On a happier note, I'm so happy fall TV season in back! I'm watching sooo many shows right now, omg. Monday I have How I Met Your Mother (ahhh THE MOTHER, brb happy crying), The Voice (Adam/Blake are SUCH BOYFRIENDS who flirt constantly, yay Christina and CeeLo being back and I love so many of the contestants already), The Blacklist (reminds me of Alias with Sydney and Jack (and Irina)) and I'm watching Mom purely out of love for Allison Janney who is a goddess. Tuesday I'm giving Agents of Shield a couple more episodes before I give up as I didn't like the characters (minus Coulson) and the plot, Brooklyn 9-9 (I really like it! it's funny and GREAT characters), New Girl (close to letting this one go again), The Minday Project (still sadly only love Mindy) and The Voice again (Blake is not doing an all country team again yay!!). Wednesday is Modern Family (yay gay marriage!) and I'm going to give Super Fun Night a try. Thursday is The Big Bang Theory (still sometimes funny, I love Sheldon but my god the gender issues), OUAT in Wonderland (going to give it a try), Glee (KURT/BLAINE DYING FROM LOVE AND SQUEEEE) and Parks and Recreation (still perfect and still LESLIE IS THE BEST). Sunday is Downton Abbey (I need to catch up actually), Once Upon a Time (MORE SWAN QUEEN, less boys pleeease) and Homeland (didn't really like 301 although I LOVE Carrie still). Lucky 7 is getting cancelled soon but I enjoyed the premise and focus on working class families so I'll continue watching. I didn't like Sleepy Hollow at all so I cut that. Any other good shiows I should watch? I'm currently catching up on Scandal (OLIVIA IS SO AWESOME and I love the addicting plots), Spartacus (deserves its own post but AWESOME!!!) and Twin Peaks (so pretty and I enjoy the plot).

On a happy/sad note, Breaking Bad is over :( But it went out on top! I was lucky enough to get tickets to the Hollywood Cemetery to see the Breaking Bad series finale live with the cast and creators of the show. I went early to get good seats and spent the day reading books (including Clash of Kings! still working on my reread) with blankets and my pillow until [personal profile] elipie showed up and we got to go in. We got good seats near the center but further back because there was a big VIP section for all the industry people who showed up. I went to checkout the RV where Walt and Jesse cooked their first meth and people were getting pictures with it and then AARON PAUL showed up and I quickly got in line but then he left but right near me so I was like 6 ft away from me. I got a picture in the RV though and it was so cool! We saw the Pilot of Breaking Bad (introduced by Aaron Paul being amazing) and then saw the Finale which was AWESOME!!! I'm so happy and fully satisfied with it. Sooo much better than The Sopranos and many other shows that can't stick the ending. I'm looking forward to doing a rewatch of the whole show and hopefully making some vids to it because it still needs ALL THE VIDS!! I read Sepinwall's review like my usual tradition (he helped me get into the show) but not reading any more because I'm sick of the negative stuff. I really loved seeing the cast Q&A after the finale, it was great to see it in person.

I've been working on a Game of Thrones vid that I'm really excited about so I'm looking forward to posting that sometime this month. I need to clear these vids off my plate because Festivids is starting!! I nominated some things and I have some requests but mainly I'm excited about making vids for people because I'll have more time than last year without the OUAT exchange. I already have 7 vids I want to make and I'm really excited to get my assignment and start. Last year was amazing and I'm hoping to have a wonderful experience this year as well.


Oh and I'm going to Europe next month! I can barely think about it, it makes me too excited and happy. Some background: I've been dying to go to Europe since like 2005? Since college started definitely especially London and Paris. It's something I want to do before I die and I've had to cancel every plan I've had to do it because of money but now that's no longer an issue! So Thanksgiving week I'm going to go to London, Paris, Munich (to visit [profile] infiniterain!!!) and Belgium (to visit [personal profile] indybaggins!) and I'm sooo excited to see some of the touristy stuff I've never seen in person. If you're in the area, let me know as I'd love to hang out! It's going to be an epic adventure I'm sure.

Wow that was long. This is what happens when I don't post for a month. I love that people are posting more to DW/LJ and am going to try to do the same, weekly is a good goal for me. I'm gonna see Laura Veirs with [personal profile] beerbad tonight which I'm excited about! A great start to my October :)
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Bad news. [Jun. 29th, 2013|11:46 am]

anoel
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[Current Music |"Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley]

So my mom died.

Yeah, I don't even know how to process that. My brother called me this morning to tell me. Apparently she hadn't been feeling well the last couple weeks and then this morning she collapsed on the kitchen floor. My brother and dad helped her to bed and said she thought she knew what was wrong (she's a nurse) and she needed some fruit. My brother went to get some and when he got back she wasn't breathing. He called 911 but it was too late and she died. They're not sure what was wrong, we'll find out the autopsy results tomorrow.

I'm still kind of in shock. I always thought my mom would live til at least 80, maybe even 100. She's really healthy for the most part and hasn't had any serious medical conditions. My dad was always the one I was worried about as he's pretty old, used to smoke and doesn't eat very healthy so I figured if I lost a parent, it was him I was going to lose. But my mom? She's in her 50s and there was no warning at all that something like this would happen. She's like the rock of the family, she deals with all the paperwork and keeps in touch with everyone especially since my dad doesn't have any relatives (that he knows of). Now I'm really scared he's going to die soon and I won't have any parents left :(

So I don't even know what happens now. My brother is dealing with a lot of the stuff in person back in NY right now and I'm going to fly home Wednesday night. I thankfully have Thursday and Friday off for July 4th so at least I'm not losing any work off of it and will hopefully get to attend the funeral and see my family and everything. It'll be good to hug everyone and see my cats again. I found out this morning at 9 and I've been crying a lot and trying to deal with all my emotions with all of this. It's so freaking unfair, I can't even. I just want my mom back :( Even if we never were super close, I could always talk to her about things and she helped me so much over the years. I miss her already. I wish I could have seen her before she died, it sucks that I haven't gotten to see her in person since she dropped me off at the airport last Christmas and I got to hug her one last time. We had a really good talk two weeks ago where I told her about my plans for the future and she got to hear about my new job more (going really well!) and just talk to her about life and say I love you and all that. So at least there's that.

If there's anything I can take from this is that really, ANYONE can die at any time. Don't put things off, tell people you love them and spend quality time with people you care about. It's made me want to stop putting off the things I want in most in life and work hard to create a good legacy with my short time on this earth. So please, don't take life for granted. It's precious.
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Vid up for auction! [Mar. 25th, 2013|01:27 pm]

anoel
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So I'm offering myself up for the Vividcon Auction this year, for the first time ever. Because I'm crazy, I'm offering up a LOT of fandoms including a ton of TV. The full list is under the cut:

Full list of fandoms and what exactly I'm offering )

You can bid on me here. The auction closes on 3/30/13 at 11:59PM Eastern Time but don't wait to the very last second as the server may not be able to handle it. I am looking forward to vidding something from this list! If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask me. I basically just want to vid a fandom I like so I'm open to a lot. There's 5 other amazing vidders on that list too so if I'm not offering something you want, check out the others as they might offer it!

Besides that, just kind of tired of life beating me down right now. I wish I could fast forward to the time when I have a job I like and hopefully am in a relationship. I love Lost Girl a LOT but sometimes it's just hard watching Bo/Lauren when I want that so much.
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A real update, finally [Mar. 8th, 2013|01:27 pm]

anoel
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So I finally have time and the inclination to post here about some of the things I've been up to. The time thing is mostly because I'm not working at my job anymore. It wasn't working out on either end and I'm really looking forward to finding an in person, salaried job at a good company that can actually pay me decently. I was really overwhelmed at first in terms of looking for a job and sometimes still am but I'm feeling better about it now. It seems that the last year of networking I've been doing in the LA tech scene is starting to pay off as I now have a lot of people I can reach out for help and who have offered to help. There's a job I reeeeally want and I'm kind of terrified of being rejected from it but I'm getting better at feeling like if it doesn't happen, it'll all work out along a different great path. And happy coincidences like a job fair this weekend is extra awesome. I am ever so grateful to be in a field where there's high demand for my skills, it makes it a lot less stressful than it would for me.

Last weekend was a lot of fun! I went to Once Upon a Time Paley Fest with [personal profile] elipie and [personal profile] rhoboat and it turned my feelings of the show to mostly anger to full of FEELS! I still have major issues with what the show is doing (not enough gay, stupid blood > adoption family stuff, Regina's misery as a plot devise) but at a certain point I can let go of expectations and just enjoy the things I love mostly REGINA omg how does Lana Parilla exist? She's hot onscreen but in person she is an absolute goddess not to mention hilarious, adorable and kind. Of course we sat behind some of the most dedicated fans of Lana and Regina so it was good for me to have other people to cheer with and Lana kept LOOKING at us and giving smiles of encouragement and the Evil Regal sign and I seriously felt like I was going to melt with squee. At the end, I managed to crawl over the seats to get close enough to Lana to get her autograph and try to shout things up at her. I hope in the future to get another chance to actually talk to her. I got pretty close to JMo but she left so I talked with Jane Espenson and put in my plug for an actual gay fairytale couple on the show (and happiness for Regina). We'll see what happens...I also connected with one of the fans in front of me in the hope of finding in person Swan Queen fans and a couple of her friends were! So that's encouraging to not feel so alone in it.

Job hunting does make it hard to find time to vid so that's a problem as there's like 5 vids I'm trying to get done in the next two months. One of them is an epic Game of Thrones vid that's gotten me headfirst back into Game of Thrones love, just in time for S3 coming in 23 days eeee! I'm just worried about getting it finished along with two other vids before the April Vividcon deadline. I've also volunteered for Vividcon auction with an insane amount of fandoms so I'm looking forward to doing that for the first time. Reeeally can't wait to go to VVC! There's nothing like hanging out with vidfans. I did go to Escapade a couple weeks ago and that was wonderful! I met some awesome new people as well as got a chance to talk to friends from past years. The vidshow and vid panels and vid review were all wonderful as well and gave me a small taste of Vividcon.

On a dream come true note, I'm so happy about the news that Whose Line is coming back with the original cast! RYAN AND COLIN TOGETHER ON MY SCREEN AGAIN! This show seriously saved me from senioritis back in high school in 2006 and I've wanted a revival to happen for the last 7 years. It's my biggest RPF ship and getting new Ryan/Colin slash with the original games will be wonderful. I've also been loving Parks & Recreation which has been wonderful the last few episodes (except for the Ann plot ughh don't get me started). Unfortunately Glee has been frustrating me more and more with the bad song choices, plots I don't like and not getting me to a emotional place like it used to do. I knew my love for the show wouldn't last forever but it's still disappointing. At least it's no less gay and I'm still loooving Kurt/Blaine, Santana/Britney, Kurt/Adam and Santana/Quinn not to mention Unique <3 The Big Bang Theory has been funnier lately but it's been driving me CRAZY with the increased amounts of sexism. I'm so glad they added more female geek characters but it doesn't make up for that. On the new shows front, I have been convinced by [personal profile] beerbad to keep watching Bunheads which has gotten a lot better over the last few episodes and feels more like Gilmore Girls now along with Parenthood which I'm starting to like a lot more after the first few episodes.

Happy International Women's Day! I went to a Women in Engineering event last night and it was so much fun to be surrounded by women mostly involved in computer science all together. I had drinks with a group of women trying to help other women learn Ruby/Ruby on Rails and it was great to feel like part of a community that's trying to help solve a frustrating lack of diversity problem. It's a slow process but hopefully it can only get better from here. And I'm so thankful to be in fandom surrounded by so many amazing women (and awesome guys) all supporting each other and being creative. I am ever so thankful I found this wonderful place :)
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End of Year Meme 2012 [Dec. 31st, 2012|10:52 am]

anoel
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[xpost |http://anoel.livejournal.com/145221.html]
[Current Mood |excited]
[Current Music |"Fly" by Nicki Minaj]

Here is my annual End of Year Meme. I love going back and reading my old ones so I must always do it. I'm going to do the Vidding meme next week when I can reveal my OUAT exchange gift.

End of Year Meme 2012 )
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Quarter Century of Life [Oct. 11th, 2012|06:02 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |festivid idea]
[xpost |http://anoel.livejournal.com/142654.html]
[Current Location |Denver, CO]
[Current Mood |weird]

So today I turned 25. It's weird to think I've lived a quarter of a century, hopefully a quarter of my life. As much as I make fun of myself saying "oh no, I'm going to have a quarterlife crisis", I'm really in a pretty good place right now and I don't feel that way for the most part. I thought my life would be different when I was younger by now but life never turns out how you expect and I'm grateful for what I have. While driving to Colorado yesterday, the song, "The Scientist" by Coldplay came on and it made me reflect on each year of my life and everything that happened that led me there. It was very interesting to think about. I was especially grateful for all the wonderful moments spent with friends who've I've learned to appreciate over the years in so many ways. Mostly I'm really excited because I think the next five years (and more!) will hopefully be some of the best of my life and I look forward to seeing what the future brings.

I got into Denver early today and picked up [profile] asuka14 from the airport. Unfortunately that turned into a bad experience (whoever designed the arrival layout is HORRIBLE) with some officer harrassing me but in the end it turned out alright and I was able to take a brief nap before we headed out to see Downtown Denver. I really loved the 16th Street Mall there, reminded me of San Francisco and DC with a unique Denver flavor to it. We had a delicious lunch and then walked around exploring things. Home (well at the hotel) now to watch some TV and eat cake and SLEEP FOREVER. Looking forward to seeing Boulder as well and doing some more exploring. It's just nice to get away and I had a lot of fun listening to music on the ride down and brainstorming Festivid ideas (I have one I'm sooo excited about).

Anyways I'm having a great time and looking forward to making the year I turn 25 the best yet!
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The Olympics of life (no my life isn't that epic) [Aug. 2nd, 2012|08:54 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |olympics]
[Current Mood |happy]
[xpost |http://anoel.livejournal.com/138253.html]

Wow it's been awhile. But some kind of update is in order. Most importantly, VIVIDCON IS IN A WEEK!!! I'm still in shock that I'll be in Chicago this time next week. I'll be at the hotel sometime around 5pm or so and I can't hang wait to hang out with people! Not to mention get a ton of my favorite Pad Thai ;) I just can't wait for CLUB VIVID and PREMIERES and getting to forget about work and life and focus on friends and so many of my favorite people. I have a Club Vivid and Premieres vid this year that I'm really happy with (it took a little distance first though) and I'm planning on wearing an actual costume this year, should be interesting. It'll certainly be unique haha. I leave on Monday morning at like 5:30am....yeah work made me come back but I didn't want to miss the late night fun on Sunday as I deeply regretted that the first time I came to Vividcon. I just need my four days damnit, I want to talk to ALL THE PEOPLE.

The other big thing is I moved into a new apartment! I'm living with [personal profile] jetpack_monkey and [personal profile] echan in Downtown LA! It's aweeeeesome. I love living with other fans and even better VID fans so we can watch vids and TV and vid together whenever. I love having my own bedroom and the building is great with a pool and gym and parking which is soo nice after dealing with horrible street parking for three months. Plus I'm in DTLA!!! This is literally my favorite place in the entire world. I love being right in the center of everything, with all these tall buildings all around me. For me tall buildings make me feel like anything is possible, that your dreams can take you ANYWHERE. And there's so much energy, people and shops and amaaazing restaurants and life and growth. Downtown is in the middle of a renaissance and I can't wait to be part of it. There's something special about living in the place you want to help improve. And today I realized I really need to start getting involved in it.

Work is still going good (really time consuming though) and I'm really happy to be continuing to learn and grow and learn what startup life is like. Plus I'm making more money so it's really nice to have more spare money for fun stuff (like vacations! and fooood). It's also been a LOT of fun the last few months to hang out with and vid with [personal profile] elipie, [personal profile] jetpack_monkey, [personal profile] osaraba and [personal profile] rhoboat. It helps so much to vid when you have another vidfan beside you who you can show vidding stuff to as you do it and talk about vid struggles and watch TV and vids together. It's just great to have a little LA vidding community going and I hope it keeps getting bigger. I've also been watching a lot of Olympics lately, mostly gymnastics since it's my FAVORITE. I used to play gymnastics as a kid and I loooooooooved the uneven bars. Like part of the reason I quit (maybe the only one I don't remember) was because I was forced to do everything else and not just the bars. So during the Olympics I always get super invested in one person and the USA team as a whole. Last time it was Nastia Liukin and this time it's Gabby Douglas who is AMAZING and Spoilers for Women's All Around ) She's just so high flying at the bars and she just has the IT factor that I love. So happy for the US team. Wish Jordan could have competed but I'm glad Gabby made it in.

Fandom-wise I'm kind of behind and not as invested as I used to be but I do have a new fandom I'm in love with...Game of Thrones. I was into it before but after reading all the books and now I'm in the midst of vidding it and reading fic and I just loooove it. I have that fannish urge to get totally consumed by the books, TV, vidding, fic, actors, all of it but I just don't have time right now sadly. Hopefully when [profile] lianri comes to LA after VVC (!!!! sooo excited), we can geek out about it together and that'll help. I'm also loving Breaking Bad...except I'm an episode behind because of the Olympics and work and trying to get some sleep. I need to remedy this soon because I love this season so far! Ohhhh Jesse. And Walt is creepy and awesome and horrible and entertaining all at the same time. So glad to see all these people again. I've also gotten into One Direction fandom (thanks to [personal profile] elipie) for awhile now and I looove Harry/Louis. Harry is a freaking feminist prince (plus insanely pretty) and Louis is hilarious and cute and willing to do anything. I went to a concert (guess with who) and had a fun time screaming and going crazy over them and the serious slash. Other things I've been watching is Bunheads, Political Animals, The Glee Project (Nellie!! and Charlie!!), Newsroom (I've stopped, not sure if I'm going to try again) and I've been catching up on Homeland. Oh and I watched the LA Complex premiere and I totally totally am shipping Connor/Raquel!! Awww.

Finally, fic recs!! Because lately I've gotten some GLORIOUS fic from people that everyone should read. First up, two Jaime/Brienne fics of AWESOME. There is the spy who loved (to drive) me (crazy) ie the SPY AU and hold my hand as I'm lowered where Jaime never shuts up (awwww he doesn't, does he?). Both hilarious and totally true to character. And then....[personal profile] thingswithwings wrote me my ultimate femslash fic!!! It's called Concession and it's LESLIE/JENNIFER!!!! Yeah you read that right, to the best of my knowledge the first Leslie/Jennifer fic ever and it's amaaaaaazing. God I love them. Leslie is just entirely Leslie and Jennifer is Jennifer and they are competing political advisors who are secretly attracted to each other and just read it and be amazed (bonus: it's really hot). While you're at it, go watch her Parks and Rec/Community female relationships vid as well, it's wonderful!

And for my birthday in October I'm going to Colorado to hang out with [profile] asuka14! I can't wait. Going to stop in Las Vegas on the way home to gamble a bit ;) Mmm traveling.
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24 [Oct. 11th, 2011|09:58 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |happy]

So today was my 24th birthday and it's been amazing. [profile] runlilirun has been staying with me this week and we've been exploring LA together and it's been a whole lotta fun. Today I went to Knott's Berry Farm (after a free birthday breakfast) and had a blast going on the roller coasters there as well as seeing the sights. A few of the coasters made me a bit queasy but we found a great one: Xcelerator. SO AWESOME. Since there were few lines (and the one I really wanted to go on, Ghostrider was closed) we had time to wait in line for the front for the second time and it was even better. HUGE drop very close to straight down and very fast the entire time. Other roller coasters should take lessons. I will have to go there again to get two of the roller coasters I missed.

Then we headed off to Manhattan Beach to explore my old stomping grounds. We went to the pier at Manhattan Beach and played in the shallow end of the water a bit (it was too cold for anything else) and then just talked a lot which was fun. We then went to a mexican restaurant nearby, drank an AMAZING fruity drink and ate way too much delicious food. I was also embarrassingly serenaded with a happy birthday song-but I got free ice cream so it was okay with me. Next we went to my old job and I talked with some co-workers there. I also ran into two of my old managers and I got a chance to catch up with them which was a nice coincidence. And then we went back home to open presents :) About to finish off the day with some internet and TV which as all of us in fandom know, is always the best way to finish off a great day.

Every day I get older now still feels weird. I still can't believe I'm twenty four, I still feel like I'm younger and I'm kind of scared of getting older not in an aging way but in a, I'm not doing enough with my life way. One of the problems with being ambitious I guess. Still, I am very thankful to be an adult, living on my own and finally working on finishing this degree. I got accepted to Cal State LA so I'm going to transfer there in the spring and I have a new apartment five minutes from downtown so I'm loving getting to live here. I feel like I'm in a good place in my life, surrounded by good friends (with hopefully some new ones coming), interesting books, great hopes, great opportunities, good health and my favorite place in the world. I feel like things are finally working out for me and I'm in a great place to finally take advantage of it and work to make my dreams come true. Here's to 24 being an amazingly productive, happy and meaningful year!

(And yes, I have a much bigger fannish post coming not to mention expanded RL highlights)
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It Gets Better [Jun. 2nd, 2011|11:13 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |"Dynamite" by Taio Cruz]
[Current Mood |happy]

So in true rollercoaster fashion, I have gone from super low to on top of the world. So that's good :) Sometimes you just need the bad stuff to make you realize something is wrong in your life and encourage you to take action.

I have now decided that come fall, I'm going to travel! So far my plans are to see London, Paris, Belgium and possibly Italy or Spain if I can manage it. That's a month or less and then I'll spend a few months in Southeast Asia, starting out in Bangkok and we'll see from there. So I now have a goal to save for this summer while working which will be encouraging. I've been dyyyying to travel and I'm so excited that I'm going to finally get a chance to do it. I can't believe I didn't do it sooner. And if you live in any of the above places, I'd of course love to hang out with you :)

After deciding this and having a second crash, I finally figured out what I want to do with my life. I think ;) This will be the eighth time I've decided so I want to be sure this time. But I've now aligned my number one priority and what I believe is my purpose in life, to make Los Angeles the greatest city ever (preferences aside, we all have different favorites, blah blah blah) with my career goals. I am looking into getting a college degree in Urban Planning which somehow manages to combine almost all of my interests when it comes to cities. I was looking at the syllabi and websites and dying of love. Looking into Cal State Northridge, Cal State Pomona and USC since I want to stay in the LA area but we'll see what I can get into. Yeah it may take two or three years, it may require a lot of work but goddamn it I'll do it for my beloved city. And for me. Because I genuinely believe this is what I was put on this earth to do.

So I'm really excited now. I feel like I found my soulmate in terms of career. It just finally feels right. I'm so excited to read everything I can get my hands on, to talk to people, to get involved. I feel I can finally commit now and I have so many ideas on what to do and how to apply myself. In my many years of reading books and blogs, I know how to succeed in this and I know I've just got to take the initiative to make it happen.

It's funny, a large part of this revelation came while watching Kung Fu Panda 2. Don't want to spoiler it but there's a part where he realizes that despite a bad past, you can choose to be great in the future. And that's what I said to myself, I choose to be great. I can't help it, I'm an ambitious person and there's nothing that gets me down more than feeling like I will never accomplish my dreams and will leave this world with nothing but regrets. I don't think I've done a good job til now in actually doing anything to make these dreams happen so I want to start to change that now. I feel like I really believe in myself that I can do this and I will do whatever it takes to become a truly great person who really will change the world in a BIG way. I think there's a lot to say in being patient and not expecting everything at once while still taking this sometimes scary steps to make things happen and join things that matter to me.

I feel good. This sense of purpose is amazing. I just do so much better in this world if I have goals even if the goals eventually change. Stuff at work doesn't bother me as much because I know it's just something small on the road to something much bigger. My attitude feels so much more positive and I just want to make every day count and soak up every bit of development I can get my hands on. I want to share my good energy with the world!

With that, here is an appropriate meme: Post a comment, and I will reply with one or two reasons why I think you're great. In return, you have to post this same meme on your blog and comment for other people.

I am so thankful for my LJ/DW friends and all of fandom for providing me with so much happiness and support!
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Happiness. [Dec. 8th, 2010|09:49 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |happy]
[Current Music |"She's Got You High" by Mumm-Ra]

Know what's amazing? Feeling happy. I've been thinking a lot about the last year and where I am right now and it feels like I've come full circle but in a much better way. It's been awhile but finally things just seem to be working out for me. So consider this a belated Thanksgiving post.

I love LA and I am so happy to be here. It's hard to put it into words but sometimes it just comes to me when I look at a I Love LA T-Shirt and am filled with city pride or feel full of joy when seeing (or reading about) some aspect of the city I just love. I love the weather that no matter how much I wish it was warmer (my tastes have changed to liking 80s best-but I'll take 70's or 90's), it's still warm enough to wear a t-shirt and/or hoodie around and not feel cold. I love that the sun shines almost every day and that there's no snow and barely any rain (I did get caught in the rain the other day but only for five minutes). I love that there's always something to do even if I don't have the money to do it, it's still exciting and inspiring.

I love where I live right now. I love Manhattan Beach and the plethora of unique cafes, restaurants, bars, clothing stores, cupcake stores (sooo tempting) and surfing shops. I love being a block from the ocean and being able to see the ocean all the time, it's so comforting. And it's so much easier to get up and run when I know I can run on The Strand surrounded by fellow walkers, runners and dogs with the ocean filled with surfers on one side and the other side overflowing with some of the most beautiful, unique and modern houses I've seen. I love that it's so close to work that I can walk to get there and don't have to worry about taking the bus and the stress that comes with that or being stranded at work when it's too late for a bus to come. I love that there's an independent bookstore I can walk to and not only get complementary bakery treats (and coffee but I'm not a coffee drinker) but read to my heart's content. I love that I get along with my roommate and that we're moving to an even bigger space so I'll have both more room and more privacy (which are two of my only issues with where I'm living now) with the same super low rent.

I love my job. I love that I'm in a company that actually cares about it's employees and wants to help them develop and succeed. I love that they encourage everyone to learn and run the business and that they came true with that promise by letting me join the marketing meetings and help with marketing. I love that every Monday I get to be excited to go to work and that my mind becomes full of ideas and happiness at *working* on something important and interesting (ie marketing). I'm so grateful that one of the managers gave me the chance that's inspired me to find a new career direction to something I really love and enjoy working on, that makes me want to learn everything about it and do *more* with it. I love that I enjoy being with all my coworkers, that they treat me well, put me in a good mood, comfort me when I'm feeling down and that I can talk to almost all of them. I love that I'm learning skills in cafe that I've always wanted to learn-including bartending. I'm glad that no matter how boring my job can be sometime or how much I wish the pay was higher, I'm still happy to be here and excited about future possibilities. I'm glad I'm working in a place devoted to media, to entertainment and the power of narrative to move people because it's one of the things I love most in the world.

I love that I feel happy, energetic and motivated most of the time. I'm glad I'm still working on my goals even though I've made only a little progress this year. I love that I'm making it a habit to run each morning as soon as I wake up and that I'm following through with it and that it's FUN. I love feeling accomplished to start off my whole day. I'm glad that I finally like the way I look and I'm taking steps to be even happier with my appearance. I'm glad I stopped trying to force myself to learn motion graphics as a career and have focused on just trying to learn about whatever I'm interested in. I love being able to walk into a bookstore and go to any section to find books to read and then spending hours there reading just like when I was a kid. I love walking home and watching TV on my iPod, only the stuff I love whether it be Glee, Modern Family, Weeds, The Big Bang Theory or my Festivid source. I love that Glee is gayer than ever and it continues to find ways to make me the happiest person ever.

I'm happy that even when bad things happen to me (these days mostly money troubles), I'm able to not get stuck in a negative or hopeless mood and instead work on taking steps to make things better. I'm glad I finally feel ready and willing to take steps to find a romantic relationship. I'm happy that I finally feel like I love myself for who I am and not who I wish I could be and that I feel like I can change anything that I'd like to be different. I'm happy that I know I can make my dreams come true and change the world.

Happiness: it's an amazing thing when you think about it.
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You make me feel like a Teenage Dream. [Nov. 24th, 2010|09:47 am]

anoel
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[Current Mood |optimistic]
[Current Music |Glee 208 song]

You know, say what you want about Ryan Murphy but he sure knows how to give a slash fan, or at least this one, what they want. I keep feeling like all my dreams are coming true, like this is all one big dream. And man, it couldn't have come at a better time because this is just what I need in my life right now. This is all from memory as I've got to get some vidding done asap but yeah, I've got some thoughts.

Spoilers for Glee 208 )

Oh and on a personal note, this episode finally was the kick in the pants I needed to stop dreaming of love and start trying to find it myself. Because I'm beautiful how I look right now and I'm sure I'll find someone out there for me and if not, well at least I love myself :)

I still intend to post a Darren post, last week was just crazy with moving and work. On the good side, I now live a block from the beach in Manhattan Beach which is amaaazing. Everytime I see the ocean, it puts a smile on my face. It's been kind of up and down lately as work has been pretty boring and frustrating as most of the major learning process is over and I feel like I know most of the stuff I have to do without much hope of switching jobs within the company in the near future. But I'm trying to make the best of it. Also been struggling with making progress on my goals, it's just slow going for all of them and I'm afraid I'll never get the life I want at least not soon and I hate feeling like my life is stagnant. But I'm continuing to work on them and just trying to find ways of dealing that work for me. On Thanksgiving I'm going to to Malibu to eat Thanksgiving dinner with my roommate (whose really nice) and her friends so I'm excited for that as I've never gone to Malibu before and always wanted to. I also finally get paid then which should help a lot with my state of mind as worrying about money is never fun. It's just funny how I can feel hopeless about my life one moment and really happy the next. Trying to stay grateful for everything I have as it's not like I'd have anything better in NY (with snow ewww) and I really do live in a great place right now.

On a TV catchup note, I'm watching Weeds and My So-Called Life right now and I love both of them! They're so addicting but I love the characters on both and it's great seeing what happens to all of them.
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Glee and Happiness [Nov. 9th, 2010|10:39 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , ]
[Current Mood |happy]
[Current Music |Glee 206 song]

Well I really needed a Glee episode to make me ridiculously happy and oh man, did it ever deliver.

Spoilers for Glee 206 )

Sooo life. Well it's basically been the week from hell for many, many reasons. I worked 6 days in a row of 7-8 hour shifts including working in super busy concessions for the grand opening where I had never worked before at our theater. So that was basically a nightmare including messing up a refund and having my computer freezing three times in a row. The worst part as been there've been a lot of evening shifts where I can't take the subway home (stupid LA subways don't run at night which I haaate) so I've either had to wait til 4 am when they work again and deal with freezing cold weather or run/walk to the closest 24 hour bus, 30-50 minutes away wherein it was an hour late (b/c of a USC football game, thanks guys) and THEN had a bus be late and miss my transfer so I had to wait ANOTHER hour for the next bus. My hate for buses and cold is pretty epic right now. Basically all I've been doing is going to work, commuting home (with TV on my iPod when I can) and then trying to fit in as much as I can.

So I haven't had any time for fandom or anything to myself which is NOT good for my mental health. I've been feeling so lonely lately for both deep friendship (friendly chats with coworkers just isn't enough) and a romantic relationship and it's bumming me out a lot. Thankfully I have Thursday off too so I'll have more time to catch up. I also get paid then which I'm planning on spending on rent for a new place much closer to where I work. I just can't go through the commute any longer so that's keeping me going when life gets really bad. Among other things which is a topic for another long post I've been meaning to write for awhile.

It's funny, I know I've always been not much into movies mostly because of time issues (with watching so much TV) and how it can be hard to get into them and then not get enough time with the characters but working at a movie theater as made me see the appeal/enjoy them more. Mostly I just love the theater experience. So far I have seen Red (enjoyed it mostly for the Helen Mirren parts and small flashes to Jack/Irina), For Colored Girls (liked it but it didn't quite work for me-stunned that people took young kids to it) and Due Date (enjoyed it a lot for the funniness and the hotness of RDJ). Dyyying to see Harry Potter this weekend, I've ignored all the previews so I won't be spoiled for anything and I'm coming into it with low expectations for it having my favorite part in it (dealing with a certain flashback/past ship) after my last bad 5th movie experience. But hopefully it'll be good!

Haven't had nearly enough time for clipping my Festivid but I am getting some time in when I can. The good news is I found a song for my last remaining treat I really want to do after searching for an hour. I had a couple of good songs in either lyrics or sound but with the helpful iPod Genius function, I was able to find a random song I had buried away somewhere that's EXACTLY what I was looking for on both counts. So excited about that although it's killing me to not be able to talk about what I've been watching. Yay Festivids!
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Project Runway, Life and TV: the basics really [Oct. 29th, 2010|10:39 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |PR]
[Current Mood |indescribable]

Spoilers for Project Runway S8 (includes Finale) )

It's been crazy with work and such. I have a horrible commute, two hours each way so I don't have a lot of time for anything other than clipping for Festivids, running, reading/TV on the commute and some Flist time when I can fit it in. I'm definitely going to move by December but must make some more money this month first. I'm a bit obsessed right now with rewatching my Festivids source so that is fun at least. My vid idea is really coming together the more I watch and creatively brainstorming is SO my favorite vidding process. I'm missing my cats a lot though, wish I could go home just for them (and getting a car, leaving it home was a huge mistake). I really like work though! Most of the work isn't great or anything but I love the people as everyone is really nice and we're finally opening the building this weekend so I should have more to do. It's a learning experience and I'm excited about the future possibilities. Trying to finish losing weight by the end of this year and it is increasingly frustrating as I keep going between trying really hard and saying fuck it and enjoying the freedom to buy whatever I want. If only losing was as easy as maintaining because I thankfully am good at that.

TV has been...up and down is really the best description. Glee the other night was my least favorite episode ever (on the show) and I'm still kind of bitter/ranty about it so that post will have to wait for another day. Still can't get myself to care about the characters on HIMYM because of last season and what's worst is I keep getting angry about things the characters do (mostly Barney and Ted) because my heart's not really with them anymore. Sad what a bad season can do. Enjoying Modern Family, Cougar Town and the Thursday Night comedies. Missing Mad Men already, LOVED this season, definitely my favorite season of the show so far. Hoping Friday Night Lights will fill the void, so excited to watch the premiere! Boardwalk Empire is meh but I am going to give it til the end of the season before I make a decision because at least the history part is cool and I love Chalky/Omar. I am trying Rubicon which I like esp. serial plotwise although it is pretty slow and I don't really care about the characters yet. My favorite new show that I recommend is Lip Service which is a lesbian focused show with a star much like Kara from BSG (and Shane from The L Word) who is so hot and has some great relationships on it. It's fun and fulfills a much needed hole in my TV schedule (Brittany and Santana are great but I need MORE).

I do need some help from people who know Fringe. As you (hopefully) know, I LOVE the serial plots but I am stuck in S2 as I get increasingly frustrated with the pointless boring episodic plots. I was under the impression these were confined to S1 and I am being proved wrong. I don't want to quit the show but ranting furiously about it is a sign to me that I must skip ahead and watch only the serial episodes. So what are the serial episodes after 213? By serial I mean related to the AWESOME spoilertastic plotline started in S1, the kind of thing that gets mentioned in the previouslies. I do not mean, personal backstory and moving the relationship forward type stuff stuff, I don't care how great it is, if it's in a plotline about something weird is going on and we must investigate it and then we figure it out and never see these people again, I don't want to watch it right now. I would REALLY appreciate it if anyone can tell me which episodes in S2 are like that.
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Birthday Time [Oct. 11th, 2010|05:34 am]

anoel
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[Current Mood |cheerful]
[Current Music |Glee songs]

So today's my 23rd birthday. Nothing really interesting to say about it, birthdays are starting to become less special with nothing big attached to them. I am however enjoying all the birthday freebies, I already had a free breakfast. There's a list of some of the offers here in case anyone has a birthday coming up. Excited to go to Disneyland today and have some fun and pick up some more free food on the way back. Mostly I'm just really happy I'm in LA, I have a job and things are looking up for me. So glad I bought my iPod Touch, it is so useful for watching TV, reading ebooks (including fic!) and taking pictures/video while commuting or just in daily life. I'm catching up with Fringe right now with my iPod and it's so much faster that way. Anyone have any apps to recommend?

I know people like Brian Kinney don't think a birthday is anything to celebrate but for me, they're special because it can be quite an accomplishment to live another year. The world can be cruel either through natural disaster, bad luck, bad circumstances or human cruelty. With the recent gay related suicides (which is a horrible tragedy and hard for me to read about without crying), making it through another year takes on even more significance so I'm happy to have made it through mine. I haven't made as much progress on my goals as I'd like but I'm definitely well on my way and it's a learning process as I can see as I'm not making as many of the mistakes as I've done in the past.

Present wise I bought myself a new pair of boots which I'm SO in love with as well as the new Glee DVD (must vid!). And of course there's GLEE tomorrow and I'm sure the episode will bring me much joy and happiness. I'm just feeling really good about life right now and I'm really excited for the year to come!
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Brief LA update [Oct. 9th, 2010|10:30 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |"My Medea" by Vienna Teng]
[Current Mood |sleepy]

The good news is I found a job! I'll be working at the new ArcLight Theater in Beach Cities. Really happy as the company seems to value its' employees and want to help them develop so I'm hoping they'll live up to that. Mostly I'm just relieved that I can stop worrying so much about finding a job at least for awhile. It just feels kind of like fate that I found this job and I was so happy to make the cut (it was a group interview and they narrowed it from like 30/40 down to six, including me). It does make me feel good about myself though as I feel it's the best interview I've ever done.

Anyways, my birthday is this Monday and I just wanted to see if anybody in LA wants to go out to dinner or just hang out then. I'm planning on going to Disneyland that morning/afternoon (company is always welcomed!) but my evening plans are free.

And yes, I am still completely in love with LA. Even with it's ridiculous weather this fall. Seriously every fall I've been here it's ALWAYS been in the 70s-90s, always sunny with no rain (except for a morning drizzle or two). And now it's going from 90s/100s to 60s to rain downpours and now slowly back up to 90s again. I don't know what's going on but I'd like my sunny 80 degree days back now. Still getting to run at sunset with palm trees together with the moon makes me fall back in love again.
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Birthday Reflections [Oct. 11th, 2009|09:31 am]

anoel
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[Current Music |"New Soul" by Yael Naim]
[Current Mood |happy]

So today is my 22nd birthday. I am very happy :D It feels very epic this year like I am finally an adult. It's just that this is the first birthday that I don't have anything to look forward to getting to do on it even if it's just one year closer to driving/voting/drinking. But I don't have that this year and it's weeeeird. I feel old lol. But not really.

It's just been inspiring me to think about how I got here and where I was ten years ago. Ten years ago, I was not into TV. Ten years ago, I wasn't in FANDOM. Ten years ago I thought I'd be researching lions and not learning web design. Ten years ago, I DIDN'T USE THE INTERNET. Ten years ago, I didn't know almost everyone here and I hadn't been to college or California or Vividcon and I wasn't aware of most of the fandoms I have now. Yeah, it's been very hard full of issues with school and friends and family and myself but somehow I made it here where it's finally starting to look up for me.

Yes, look up yay! I am hoping this is the year which I will finally take charge of my life and be happy. I'm still having a little trouble in my classes but I'm doing the work and getting it done and I feel like I can really do this. And it's reminded me what a good choice this is because I really hate essays and any long art project is always better than that. I'm learning like five programs at once now but at least I am learning and reading outside of class and loving it which is more than I ever could say two years ago. I see hope for my future and what I want to do with my life and I'm excited about it which is the best thing ever for me. I believe in me which is a really nice feeling to have again finally.

So far things are going well in terms of birthday happiness. Glee and The Office were wonderful, Adam released some Time for Miracles clips (FINALLY) and it is amaaaaazing, fic has been wonderful and yesterday I had fun hanging out with fellow slash fans which was incredibly awesome. Yes, I will have to do some homework today but I'd have rather spent time with fans yesterday and not have to be depressed about it tonight/tomorrow than not do it. Once I finish this post, I am going to DISNEYLAND and probably applying my free birthday pass to an annual pass so I can go whenever I want (except not on weekends or most days in the summer, you suck Disney). So that'll be fun. Plus I'm going clubbing tonight with people in QSA so that'll be fun and a good way to end today. Looking forward to Adam's entire TFM being released as well as The Office webepisodes with DANCING in the next week or so.

And of course my birthday is National Coming Out Day and this year, the National Equality March in DC which is awesome. I've come out in this journal right? Well if not, I'm bisexual, pansexual or no label, I just like who I like regardless of gender identity in the end. That's just me.

And now I will return to looking above my laptop at my extremely hot poster of Adam on the cover of Rolling Stone with a snake and a butterfly on his crotch because who can top that? (Kris once and awhile and I totally mean that in both ways ;)). Thank you to [personal profile] deejay, [personal profile] redina, [personal profile] talitha78 and [personal profile] sol_se for the virtual gifts! I will now enjoy and look forward to being 22 and having a great birthday and year :)
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Fandom Love (Mad Men, Project Runway, Adam/Kris) + College [Aug. 23rd, 2009|02:38 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , , , , , , ]
[Current Music |VVC vids]
[Current Mood |excited]

Mad Men's back YAY! I got a download from the hotel and watched it Monday morning and have resisted getting too into it before I finished all my VVC writeups (okay I do have a couple more coming but those are not as much write asap). But here's my episode thoughts on the third season premiere!

Spoilers for Mad Men 301 )

I love this show. I love that it doesn't do what I expect, I love that it uses metaphors, I love the slowness, I love the prettyness, I love all the characters (or love to hate) and I love the history of it. And I'm so psyched that we're going to get more Sal this season! As I said at VVC, if this is the way fall TV is going to treat me, I'm going to be a very happy person this fall.

It is SO good to see the Mad Men fandom giving Sal some love. Makes me super happy :D
Links: Great Bryan Batt (Sal) interview
Old Hollywood Comparisons with Mad Men
Bryan Batt at Times Square

I am so jealous of the people who got to see Mad Men in Times Square. I love seeing Bryan Batt there and the communal viewing is so cool. I wish there was a lot more of that kind of opportunity in the world.

More Mad Men tonight OMGYAY!

And then Project Runway came back which I'm super excited about!

Spoilers for Project Runway 601 )

And then I've fallen more and more in love with Adam, Kris and Adam/Kris. Been reading some wonderful fanfic at night. My favorite so far is Apples Are Not The Only Fruit (Adam/Kris AU, NC-17) which makes me SO HAPPY. Like watching Save The Last Dance over and over again, bouncy squee kind of delight. It just perfectly captures fan squee and has a wonderful slow buildup and is basically perfect. They're just SO CUTE! It reminded me of Seduction of the Desert Prince and not just because of the fruit love. Also I loved The Fairytale Story of Adam and Kris (Picspam with captions) which is filled with hearts and flowers and sparkly unicorns!

I am just experiencing am overload of fannish squee right now with vidding/Vividcon, Mad Men, Project Runway, Adam/Kris and yes, The West Wing, I am still madly quite in love with my show. To add to that, now that Vividcon is over, it is beginning to hit me that I'm going back to college in a week OMG! Well, Friday actually. I'm the most excited I think I have ever been this year mostly because I am doing a major I'm really interested in learning about AND I have my own room (and soon car eeeeee). And I know I'm so very privileged for getting all this which is why I'm so over the moon in getting it. I just really *need* a place to myself even if it's only to be able to ask over friends and not have to apologize to a roommate for it or to be able to dance crazy and not fear a roommate walking in. Plus I'm super excited to be back in California and SoCal and with a car, I can actually explore it so much better! And this year I really want to focus on creative pursuits and getting marriage equality in CA and I'm super excited about doing both. I'm going to the OutWest Bootcamp at USC in September and I can't wait to learn more about running campaigns (in terms of overturning Prop 8).

I can just feel that this year is going to be amazing and I feel so much more in control of who I am and what I want to be. Getting my VVC reports done for once helped show I can get things accomplished even overwhelming, tempted to procrastinate ones. I know I can create the life I want and I'm excited to be on this journey and just, yay life! It is truly an awesome thing right now.
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Vividcon 2009 Con Report [Aug. 22nd, 2009|07:49 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |cheerful]
[Current Music |VVC 2009 vids]

So Vividcon was absolutely amazing as it is every year. Even if I had no social contact whatsoever there'd still be the new vids and interesting vid talk and with all the wonderful people who attend, it makes it absolutely wonderful. So here is my con report of the whole experience this year:

Vividcon 2009 Con Report Thursday-Tuesday )

It was so good to see everyone again and meet so many new awesome people! Let me know if there's things I'm forgetting, I'd love to rejog my VVC memories. Didn't spend nearly enough time with people and sadly probably missed some but such is Vividcon. Is it Vividcon 2010 yet?
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A couple things [Jun. 27th, 2009|10:34 am]

anoel
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[Current Music |"Drama" by Bitter:Sweet]
[Current Mood |okay]

Finished The Sopranos yesterdays. Wow. Great show in the end although I had my issues. Generally liked the ending with a few misgivings. I totally want to see a Wire crossover with the show (Omar was in it!) and a Six Feet Under crossover since there's a funeral every other episode, heh. Going to be watching The Godfather Trilogy, Goodfellas and Scarface this weekend as well Nurse Jackie to segue out of the show nicely. Caught the end of the S5 finale on TV today and it's weird to think it's all over.

Unfortunately I've had some bad news in the last few weeks. One, my grandma died a few weeks ago :( Going to her funeral this weekend. Second, my cat Bambi (see icon) has disappeared for a week. We've made posters and contacted shelters but nothing so far. I really hope we get her back, I don't know what I'd do without her.

Fic rec: Symmetry or something by [personal profile] dollsome The Office, Kelly/Erin. I was skeptical of the pairing at first but [personal profile] dollsome writes Kelly perfectly with so much love and gradually shows how their bond grows into something more. The fic is filled with sweetness and romance and rainbows and hearts and by the end had me smiling widely with so much happiness. It's a great look at The Office characters as a whole not to mention absolutely hilarious. Highly recommended.

Since iMeem is shutting down does anyone know how to download vids off of the service? With my hard drive failures I've lost some vid hard copies namely Untouchable, Sexy Logan and Walk Away. Better yet, if you have hard copies, I'd love to have them.

RIP Michael Jackson. I've always enjoyed his music even if it was mostly before my time. Good thing good music is endless.
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Indecision and TV [Jun. 8th, 2009|11:27 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |Hawksley Workman]
[Current Mood |blah]

Blaaaah. I am remembering why I hate living here. It's incredibly boring and there's nothing to do. And usually I'm cool with staying inside and vidding/watching TV/reading, whatever but yesterday I felt restless and just wanted to do something. Went out and tried but everything was empty and boring.

I should be vidding but I'm getting sick of it at the moment and feeling down about getting the vid done. I just feel like it's going to suck anyways so what's the point of even trying? And I want it to look like it does in my head but I have so many doubts about having it come out in this time frame. I don't know if I'm willing to overload my free time to get this done. I'm already sick of House and House/Wilson unbelievably enough although my love always returns the next morning. I am just feeling seriously conflicted onto whether to do this or not. I have other stuff I need to do this summer, for one learning stuff since I have free time and no school to get in the way. I really want to have a vid in Premieres, I just don't know if the sacrifice for it is worth it. Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing it for me or other people but when I try to get rid of everyone but me, I still want to do it. I hate giving up but maybe it's worth it in this case. Or not. I have no idea. How do you decide these things???

God, I love Hard Core Logo. I'm randomly in the mood for it a bunch of times and can watch the whole thing straight through. I love Joe Dick, I love John, I love Billy, I love them all. It's got this magnetic pull, this atmosphere and mood that I love that hooks me in everytime. Not to mention the delicious slash all up in each others faces and the need and longing. I adore them.

Still watching The West Wing, enjoying the second season although it's not making me want to watch it all the time which is probably a good thing. But I still love all of them even though I don't like some of their positions like school uniforms for instance (I'm in the middle of the season). Still love the team the most along with CJ <3
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From LA to NY [Jun. 3rd, 2009|08:12 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |content]
[Current Music |vid songs]

So back in Syracuse again. Ehh. The worst is seeing events in LA and not being able to go to them like the Paley event with Hugh Laurie. At least it's not the whole cast/crew I guess. I keep reminding myself that this should be the last summer I have to do this. The good thing is I get to see my kitties again :)

I went to LA the night before I left and had an AMAZING time. First I went to The Kills concert, didn't have a ticket since I just learned about it but I hoped to score one and did. It was easy actually, didn't even have to ask. But it was my first real concert and I had a blast. I did have to stand through two hours of other bands and wait for awhile for them to appear but when they did it was one of the best experiences of my life. Cause let me tell you, The Kills in concert are AWESOME. They played a whole bunch of my favorite songs like URA Fever, Sour Cherry, Cheap and Cheerful, Alphabet Pony, Black Balloon (someone actually had a black baloon!), Fried My Little Brains and No Wow among others. I wished they had played Cat Claw and What NY Used to Be but was happy with what I got especially Sour Cherry. I just loved the energy of being with all the other fans and singing along and most of all getting to see the artists perform. They are just so amazing in terms of charisma and sexiness and really getting into the music. And they'd get close to us, I was in the fourth row or so and a few times it looked like he was looking at me even if he wasn't. It's so indescribable. And after they left, we made a lot of noise and they came out again and played Hook and Line and another song with the other band, The Horror. Towards the end they fell on the floor and got all tangled up in each other, it was funny. I can definitely get now why people go to concerts, I must go to more.

Then I biked to Factory Nightclub in West Hollywood which wasn't too far. I liked it a lot, very big, had big screens like Club Vivid with pretty lights and confetti and many pretty boys :) It started out perfect too as I was high from the concert and went up to the bar and started talking with Jonathan who was super nice to me and we talked about a couple things before he hugged me and left. Then I gulped down a drink and went out to dance and just was transported to a place where I could dance my heart out and not care what anyone thought. They played a Lady Gaga song (not Just Dance breaking my clubbing record at four but I came in late so I'm sure I missed it) and best of all, Girlfriend so I could yell out the words pretending it was the House vid up on the screen. They also played Circus which was SO much fun not only because I imagined it being the Star Trek vid but because I accidentally hit this guy (not the good part) and then he came over to dance with me and it was so much fun. I danced to they chased us out and I'm sure part of the free part was the alcohol but it just felt like one of the best experiences of my life. Mmmm.

Of course the crappy part came after that when I had some trouble getting home since the freaking subways close in LA at night...don't even get me started. I decided to bike down to try to catch the bus I needed to take...it took longer than I thought. It was nice to see some of LA though and I managed to catch the Downtown Disney bus so it all worked out in the end. Managed to get a few hours of sleep before I had to get up to pack and take my stuff to storage. Barely managed that in time but I got home alright so it all turned out okay.

I got my job back as soon as I came home so at least I'll have some money. Been working this week in the morning and then going home and napping in the afternoon. Last Tuesday I went to Buffalo to visit my grandma since she had a seizure earlier in month and wasn't doing so well although she was home with people taking care of her. She can't really talk except for a few hard to understand words (think Failure to Communicate) but can see and understand people talking. It's so sad to see her that way :( Makes me appreciate my life and health more at least. Finally got internet there last Sunday (see West Wing post). Also spent some time with my cousin (first removed) and she was really nice. Turns out we both watch Ugly Betty and like Harry Potter so that was fun to talk about. Also in other family news, my favorite cousin is pregnant and due in August so that'll be the first baby of the family I know. I don't know what to think, we'll be cousins first removed but I like my cousin much more than my brother so I care more about this kid than any other ones. We'll see what happens.

In good Chapman news, my new major got approved! And I did really well with grades, much better than I thought :) Got two A's, an A- and a B+ so I'm really happy with that since two of my professors must have been very kind to me. A bit worried about money for next year but hopefully that should work out alright. Next year I'm taking Introduction to Graphic Design, Computer Science II, History of Political Philosophy, Foundation Course in Photography and Dance in World Cultures (GE). I'm looking forward to it although bummed I can't take History of Television (same time as major class, too many credits unless I wanted to overload myself).

Trying to work on my Premiere vid and not freak out about time and getting it done. The Vividcon schedule came out and once again I'm forced to make tough decisions between panels and vidshows. Probably going to do all panels except my own of course (I'll need to find someone to take detailed notes on Vid Watching 101-price I pay) but it's so frustrating to have to choose between Also Premiering and Understanding Audience *sigh* Ah well, better to have too much to do than the opposite. Had another vid idea for The Wire which I do like but it's so frustrating that I keep getting ideas that aren't what I want: interesting exploration of the people and ideas expressed in the show.

Reeeally hoping Federer will win the French Open this year! Nadal left it open for him so I'm calling it as fate for him to beat Pete's record by winning the only grand slam that Sampras never won. God, how I love them. Hope he doesn't let me down!
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Let the old week end and the new one begin [May. 4th, 2009|04:21 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |chipper]
[Current Music |"Strength in You" by Kim Richey]

So glad this week is over. It was deadline hell week over here with a big hw assignment due on Tuesday and a test the same day. And then I worked most of the next three days on my Club Vivid vid, freaked out about it being a little late and then learned I had extra time til Sunday (had a self-imposed LJ sabbatical to work). THEN I of course forgot to turn in an assignment that's going to have BIG grade ramifications *sigh* You know those times when you can't stop laughing because everything keeps going wrong, kicking you when you're down and there's nothing else you can do but laugh? (and then you weep) Have done that twice this weekend. This is my life. Yesterday I took a break and watched TV and relaxed because deadlines are of the evil for a chronic perfectionist procrastinator like myself. On the good side, done with the vid which I like very much (was in sucktitis for awhile there) and VERY excited to do my Premiere vid. It's a good reminder that vidding with my heart greatly increases my motivation levels.

I'm on Dreamwidth! My account is here (does anyone know how to get the little DW user symbol?). As mentioned previously, I'll be crossposting and leaving comments open on both sites. I'll be moving to DW once I add everyone on DW (it's coming along slowly) and customize my journal so I like the way it looks. I'll be making a filter on LJ for non-crossposting people so I don't have to read things twice and since I don't want to defriend people. I'm just excited open beta is finally here and it's actually happening. Paid accounts are only $3 for a month and there are plenty of free invite codes flying around (check my friendsfriends if you need one). And bonus: no advertising whatsover. Including anti-gay marriage ones that were found on LJ the other day, joy joy. My prediction is most of fandom will migrate in 1-2 years but who knows.

Have I mentioned I lost my old hard drive? Yeah, it was going to cost 650 to fix WITH the discount (originally 200 more) and no way can I afford that. So I lost my vid collection and lots of important documents and clipping for a vid. Ugh. As I'm rebuilding, I have to ask: can people make zipped documents of ALL their vids? Because it'd be so much easier to just extract that and not have to redownload every single link. I'm just saying, it'd be nice for the lazy among us. I will of course do the same.

I still have lots of stuff to catch up on and it's kind of overwhelming. On the good side, my roommate's been gone all weekend and next year I'm getting a single!! I am SO EXCITED because I really need my own room. I like my privacy. Plus it's in the Film/TV living learning community so I'm happy about that and hope to meet some cool people. Although as I have been reminded this semester, I really suck at making good friends. It's just so hard to figure out if people really want to hang out with you or how to ask them (like Fraser in Burning Down the House!!) and whether you can trust telling them the more intimate parts of your lives and how. Blah the internetz are so much easier.

I have the last Pushing Daisies episode in my posession but I haven't watched it yet. I don't want this show to be over :( God, what a tragedy. DAMN YOU ABC. I've been so cynical about ratings and shows being saved (Chuck, TSCC, Dollhouse) because it's just all about the money as shown by ratings and it's so depressing. I want to help change it but I don't know if I can either ability wise or in terms of ideal career wise. We'll see I guess. In good news: there's going to be a special preview of Glee at Paley next week!! I am soooo going, I've been dying to see this show. And I'm hoping and praying that Victor Garber will show up...I'd die of happiness. At least I'll finally get to use my membership since the last two times I've been foiled with car troubles and vacation trip.

I've been catching up on Desperate Housewives since Marc Cherry's coming to my school this Tuesday. SO excited! He's supposed to give great presentations. But I'm totally loving this show and I can't remember why I quit it. It has exactly the kind of funny that I love, the deliciously evil kind and omg that is so horrible, I can't believe she just said that (I love her). I love all the characters (well Susan's a bit boring) but Bree, Gabby and Lynette are made of awesome and deliver the best smackdowns. It's so much fun to watch. I'm in mid-S3 right now, hoping to be done with it by tomorrow night.

Are episode titles/writers spoilers? If so: Future House episode title and writer spoilers ONLY (nothing about the episode) )

Oh god, guys I am so in love with House/Wilson I can't even. Like last night I was all GIDDY watching vids of them and listening to vidinspiring music and omgtheyaresoinlove. Everything I say seems so inadequate to describe them and my love for them. THEIR LOVE IS SO DEEP AND UNSAID! It's House Day yay! And one more week til the finale. All is well in my world.
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Catchup [Apr. 22nd, 2009|01:42 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |stressed]
[Current Music |"Walk On" by U2]

Miraculously I am caught up on my Flist. Remind me to never do that again. Thank god for being able to read all entries on a certain date. Also mostly caught up with TV, did some of that in Florida which was great. House was very happymaking and it was so good to watch it with [livejournal.com profile] indybaggins and squee over the House/Wilson stuff together. I could never break up with that show <3

Anyways, I had a fun, wonderful vacation in Daytona Beach, Orlando and Miami with all my friends, old and new. I finally went to Disneyworld which I've wanted to do since I was a kid. Back in the day, everyone at school would always go for vacation and I never did and always wanted to. My best friend went instead of going to my birthday party which always made me sad so now I finally got to experience it. I visited all four parks, went on most of the rides and got to meet Timon and Rafiki (lots of Lion King love there) so I was happy. Favorites were the Aerosmith roller coaster (LA!), Soarin' (CA!) and the Everest mountain roller coaster. Also had fun at the Daytona Water Lagoon and Daytona Cubs game as well as seeing the pretty, pretty Miami beach and South Beach. I made it home alright to CA thankfully with a small travel curse mishap at the end but it was okay in the end thankfully. I took lots of video with my shiny new Flip Mino video camcorder that I'll share later in the week.

It is nice being back in CA and not having to go back to cold weather (in fact it was really hot). Unfortunately I am really overwhelmed with school right now and on top of that I have a Club Vivid vid to make in nine days. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm feeling really frustrated because I'm having a hard time doing any college work and it feels like a repeat of my freshman year and I'm really, really worried I'm going to mess up again. It just feels so much easier right now to ignore it and hope it goes away even when I know that's a really bad idea. I'm behind on this one class and I try to read and focus on it and I get distracted and start not caring at all. It's so hard to get out of vacation mode. I have this one assignment due late tonight and I hope to god I can figure out since it's really hard. I do have lab today so I can ask my professor for help.

We had this TV class night where graduates from my school with jobs in the industry came back to talk about it which I was hoping would inspire me and it did a little early but at the same time scares me if I can even hope to find a place for me in there. I still find it so frustrating not knowing what I want to do for a career. I just want to do something I enjoy but it feels like nothing I enjoy doing can be done for work. I just wish I could stop constantly career angsting but at the same time I really wish I had the motivation to know THIS is what I want to do.

I'm definitely moving to Dreamwidth on April 30th although I'll still be crossposting to LJ and have comments open. I'm probably getting a permanent account if I can get the money. I'm just so glad there's finally a journal service that has improved features, listens to its users and won't pull the crap that LJ did with Strikethrough and similar as I trust its founders.

Thanks so much for all the comments about my grandmother, I really appreciate it. Unfortunately it doesn't look good as she has an agressive brain tumor with a very low survival rate/remission. I can't really believe this is happening, I usually can't deal with this kind of stuff unless I can see/hear it. I just hope for the best right now.

On a Vividcon note, I'm doing my first vidshow this year! It's called Motion Roller Coaster and here's the description:

Showcasing vids that feature a strong emphasis on motion, from external to internal, from found within the source to created, and for thematic, musical, emotional, and just plain shiny reasons. Get ready for a ride in every direction!

Please suggest any vids with a lots and lots of motion here or just fill out this poll and I'll check them out.

[Poll #1388224]
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Going Back Home to California [Jan. 31st, 2009|12:29 am]

anoel
[Tags|, , , , , ]
[Current Music |"California" by Rogue Wave]
[Current Mood |hopeful]

So I got back from Inauguration last week which was a memorable experience. I plan to write up a report on Sunday but the short version is, I hung out at the MSNBC station and met Rachel Maddow who is super nice, hung out with a new friend all night first in line (fence really) of the non-ticketers with freezing feet (but everything else fine mostly), saw the inauguration in person which was amazing even far away and got kind of lost in the massive crowds. Made it home sick but after a day of rest felt better. Sorry I haven't been around or posted, just got in one of my withdraw-y moods.

The best news is I'm going back to Chapman tomorrow :D Everything seems to be working out and I have an apartment to go to. I really can't wait, there are no words for how much I've missed California and my college. I can't wait to be with the sun, the warmth, the palm trees, the pretty buildings, the industry, the ocean, the feelings of discovery and beauty and creativity and innovation and hope. Yes, that. I can't wait to start classes, I can't wait to meet people, I can't wait to experience and learn and have fun. I finally feel that this is where I'm meant to be and this is the way to do it. Honestly, it's scary. I really am going to stop procrastinating so much and try to stay more organized and on top of things and changing out of my comfort zone terrifies me. But my goals are so much bigger than that and I know I can achieve so much if I put my mind and body to it.

For all the students out there, I recommend Study Hacks, a blog about how to do well in school and life after it. He has a lot of great ideas about study techniques and life structure and prioritization that I'm finding really helpful. If anyone has any more tips for doing well, I'd love to hear them :)

I'm going to be going with [livejournal.com profile] heyiya tomorrow to go see [livejournal.com profile] lim's Us being shown at the California Museum of Photography. I'm really excited that it's being featured and can't wait to go! Perfect way to start out my time in California.
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The Plan (no, not that one) /SFU reference [Jan. 13th, 2009|07:53 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , , , , , , , ]
[Current Mood |frustrated]
[Current Music |"This World" by Zero 7]

So I've developed a plan for my year to try to get some of my dreams and goals accomplished. I'm really excited about it and have been making daily to do lists in order to keep tabs on what I need to do. I'm using a small notebook to write down all my thoughts and ideas and so far it's proving very helpful.

My first thing is getting the money to go back to Chapman or my backup, Santa Monica College. Who knows how that'll turn out but I've been working on getting financial aid from both. Chapman starts classes on January 26th so hopefully I'll be leaving a few days before then and Santa Monica starts in mid-February but I'll be trying to leave as soon as possible to get out of the cold. I've decided to major in Computer Information Systems while taking some TV classes and doing a lot of TV research and experience on the side so I can get in the industry or some job related to TV after I graduate. I'd major in TV but the major at my school is focused on the creative side of things and as much as I love art, I'm just not an artist in the true sense of the word and don't want to waste my time struggling through scriptwriting classes (not to mention the application). I'm interested in getting some computer and business skills so this major totally works for me (low on essays helps too). So for the rest of my list:

1) Get all A's and B's in my classes. This is the most important thing and goes before everything else. I need to prioritize and not save things til the last minute which can be paralyzing if it's a big task. It's a huge boost to my confidence and self-esteem if I do this so I'm going to keep it at the top of my list. This blog is proving helpful with lots of good tips for any students out there.

2) Be at a healthy weight and stay healthy by playing a sport. I reeeeeeally can't wait to get back to California so I can play tennis outside along with many other sports. Running is alright but I don't like to exercise unless it's fun and sports are lots of fun for me.

3) Meet new people, find new friends and develop some good relationships. I really miss my friends at Chapman (and my cushy job) but I'd really like to branch out and meet more people like I wish I'd done more my freshman year. I especially want to meet some more TV lovers even if they don't go to my school.

4) Make every effort to have a romantic relationship. Cause I really, really want one and I have lots of romantic experiences I'd like to have. Doesn't hurt to try.

5) Finish at least three vids. I'd even limit it to two just as long as I finish my auction vid and a Vividcon one. I just need to get something done this year as my fannish output last year was quite pathetic.

6) Keep up with TV and finish at least The West Wing, The X-Files and The Sopranos.

7) Build, organize and listen to music collection including classic albums and top contemporary ones.

8) Read Wicked (finish), LotR, The Temeraire Series, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Watchman.

9) Read Plato, Aristotle, other classics and nonfiction about TV and business.

10) Volunteer for LGBT rights/Obama.

11) Watch vids, keep up on feedback, stay caught up in fandom.

12) Learn Spanish because it's necessary when living in Los Angeles.

That's the plan. Now it's just a matter of going out and doing it.

On another note, once again my computer is having problems (of the unmountable boot volume variety) and I am ready to throw my computer off my desk, Lex style. Or Barney style as the case may be. So I may not be around as much until that gets fixed.
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End of the Year Meme [Dec. 31st, 2008|06:42 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , ]
[Current Music |Zero 7]
[Current Mood |rushed]

So after the year from hell aka 2007, I knew this year had to be better and I was right. It was an okay, nothing special kind of year although some good stuff happened throughout. I name my years and this one I've decided on The Year of Transition and Tech Troubles since every tech thing seemed to break or get lost this year and I was just in the midst of change and figuring out and moving in the direction I want to go.

End of the Year Meme )

I'm hoping next year should be much better as I should be back in California and hopefully having a great time in college. I want to try to balance all the things I love in life and not neglect anything. I'm really looking forward to a year of Obama, spring break in Florida with my friends, Vividcon and just a new start for myself. Hope everyone has a great year and the TV gods are nice to us!
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Life balancing, vidding, essays and my boys [Dec. 1st, 2008|02:31 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , , , , , ]
[Current Music |new vidsong]
[Current Mood |rejuvenated]

Gah you people really do post when I'm away. I love it but it takes forever to catch up on it when I just want to luxuriate in all of beautiful fandom. I missed it a lot and as always, I feel like I'm coming home. Don't know where I'd be without it. Lots of vidtalk which makes it take even longer but I'm hoping that's because people are on break and therefore have more time for vidding, right? Right? Let's hope so.

I was shocked and horribly saddened to hear of [livejournal.com profile] tv_elf's death :( She was so nice to me at Vividcon and it was good to talk about The Wire or see one of her vids. What a tragic loss to the world, fannish or not. A memory post is here.

I feel like I know what direction I want to go in now although I don't know specifically what I want to be yet. But I am learning to be okay with it (or maybe the universe will provide a path for me! as I like to say) with the uncertainty. I know there is a ton of things I want to do that take a lot of time and I am trying to find out the best way to balance them in the way that will make me the happiest both now and in the future. The one constant I know is that I NEED narrative. Whether it be the books of my past, the TV of my future or a fun movie now and then, I've got to have it. Can't imagine life without it. Now there's a ton of TV shows I need to catch up on and I don't want to devote too much time to only watching TV and neglecting other things but at the same time...I need context for vids! So who knows how many shows I'll get through in the coming year. That leads me to vidding in which I need to get my self in gear and FINISH these damn vids. My goal this year is to get rid of all my obligation vids, vids for cons and vids that I've had for over three years because they really need to get done no matter what new, shiny vid idea comes along. In fact, one JUST did for The Wire which I'd have to metaphor the hell out of but it would be fun. Still looking for my perfect Wire song and I'm hoping my new music collection will turn up a song not to mention my other orphan vid ideas. Vidding takes a lot of time though; I've given up on clip notes because I look at it too much as writing=work and then it never gets done so I'm going to just watch a lot of the show and clip it in Premiere. But that's the vidding plan for the Vividcon Year.

So then there's the other non-fannish stuff. I feel like I have a large gap in reading knowledge in truly understanding the world and how to make it better. So I'm going to need to read up on all the classic books, stuff on political systems and action and lots of stuff about TV for my future career. My love of learning is coming back stronger so I think it should be possible if I can find the time. I have to fit that in with college classes (and getting A's) and part time work (not to mention clubs and events and stuff) so who knows how much I'll be able to get done. Then the last big thing is getting involved in activist stuff whether it be gay rights or Obama related things. Kind of scary and not sure how much time its going to take and what I can do but I know I've got to do something because the time is now. So there's that. Those are the basic things I'm trying to figure out how to put off so I have enough time for them all and I know it may involve some sacrifice so I'm trying to figure out what I can give up in terms of time demands. We'll see.

Then I've been trying to figure out my aversion to writing especially essays. I think maybe I finally found a reason through vidding. So I've always loved that vids can be like visual essays and that they can say so much about the source. But that visual essay love never translated to loving/liking essays and I was trying to figure out the difference. And then [livejournal.com profile] dollsome posted this brilliant Stephen Fry quote which expresses it so much more eloquently than I ever could:

"Had I the patience and the discipline I should have chosen literature. But, while I can read Middlemarch and The Dunciad or, I don't know, Julian Barnes or Jay McInerney say, as happily as anyone, I have this little region missing in my brain, that extra lobe that literature students possess as a matter of course, the lobe that allows them the detachment and the nerve to talk about books (texts they will say) as others might talk about the composition of a treaty or the structure of a cell. I can remember at school how we would read together in class an ode by Keats, a Shakespeare sonnet or a chapter of Animal Farm. I would tingle inside and want to sob, just at the words, at nothing more than the simple progression of sounds. But when it came to writing that thing called an essay, I flubbed and floundered. I could never discover where to start. How do you find the distance and the cool to write in an academically approved style about something that makes you spin, wobble and weep?

... You could only write successfully about books and poems and plays if you didn't care, really care, about them. Hysterical schoolboy wank, for sure, an attitude compounded of nothing but egotism, vanity and cowardice. But how deeply felt. I went through all my school days convinced of this, that "literary studies" were no more than a series of autopsies performed by heartless technicians. Worse than autopsies: biopsies. Vivisection."


YES, this. I don't necessarily agree about the not caring part but for me, that's exactly it. But vids for me DO capture that emotion, that love and it's not so much as splitting up a source as celebrating it, reliving it and creating something anew from it's beauty. And even in writing posts on LJ or not, I feel my thoughts are like birds, free of any bounds and restraints and yes, disorganized but spirited and alive and full of energy. And putting them to paper/screen feels like it's taking all the soul out of them to make it sound regular and ordered and...just there. Maybe there's a way to overcome this or at least help the effect but that's why I love vids as opposed to essays.

In extremely happymaking news, I got my House and Arrested Development DVDs!! Just now :D Well only S4 for House but S3 is coming for my vidding pleasure. And I've waited so long for AD, stuff just kept coming up but now it is mine! It's so nice to be able to watch my show whenever I want to not to mention all the extras. Eeee Bluths! I've been enjoying a lot of the TV this season although not feeling particularly excited about a lot of it (The Office is always delightful and full of love though). However lest I long for an obsession, I have House which remains after three months, my favorite and I'm so in love with House/Wilson it's not even funny. It's not an all consuming love but one that just needs a spark for me to fill up with glee and to believe so deeply in their pure true love. I just cannot see only a friendship and I don't want to because they are so perfect together and I love them. And now I can vid them :D While looking for clips the other day, I found the video where Wilson actually says LOVE POETRY to House. God, they slay me, I had a full on squeeing session after that.

Back to catching up!
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Wilson is sad and so am I. [Sep. 30th, 2008|11:59 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , , , , , , , , , ]
[Current Music |tv in the background]
[Current Mood |blah]

I'm feeling so bummed tonight.

Ruminations about my life and college )

Didn't like House tonight. One guess why. Promo > Episode. The thing that disappoints me about House is it's never going to be the show I want it to be. I hate the episodic procedural plots sooooooo much and the ducklings are all boring and I don't like them besides Kutner who is very cute. If it was up to me, it'd just be the issues and craziness of House, Wilson and Cuddy's life with minimal medicine stuff when relevant. Also House and Wilson would be together and kissing a lot but hey. And as much as House is my favorite and I always enjoy his hilarity, Wilson is just pure love. I am kind of in love with his voice. And RSL was oh so cute in that interview with Lisa. Saw a little bit of Clueless and Safe the other day and OMG I love House/Wilson and miss them so much. Also saw Failure to Communicate tonight and awww I love House/Stacy too. They're totally doomed but it makes it easier to ship as I can just adore their cuteness and that beautiful hotel scene. I can't help loving the shared history type couples with that past you can never go back to but that connection remains so you can't help but be drawn together.

Back in July in Montreal, I had this wonderful dream where House and Wilson were sitting against a wall (ever notice that Wilson always sits to the right of House/left to our eyes?) and Wilson was all unsure of their relationship and vulnerable and such (post S4) and House leans over and kisses him to try to reassure him with the words he can't say. It was perfect. I blame it for making me desperate to see them kiss. But I was thinking whether it'd ever be possible for me to recreate that dream with vidding. Like in the future can we get actors to be in different positions when they kiss or however you'd do it. Sounds impossible but who knows? And then I had this dream recently with House kissing Wilson on the cheek and it was all so sweet.

I'm dropping Fringe which completely bores me and True Blood where I don't like the characters and relationships because I can't get myself to care to watch them. Maybe I'll catch up with reruns later. I am watching Greek which is enjoyable especially with the great gay storyline and Freaks and Geeks which is not my kind of humor (Judd and me don't mix) but I love Lindsey and James Franco and Jason Segall are incredibly hot, plus cute geeks so I'm enjoying it. In the last week, one person on my list was converted to The Wire and another to Firefly so I'm very happy there :) I kind of want to change my mood theme to an Irina one but it's been so long having this one that I'm not sure I want to change, I just miss seeing it on my Flist. I probably will change back but maybe I will when I have the time to mess with it.

Still have no money, probably won't get hard drive for another month. I have way too many wants for the amount of money I'm making which is one big reason for college then why am I having such problems motivating myself to do well in it? Argh. And I reaaaally miss LA. First it's getting cold here and I hate it more than words can say and then I miss out on Office writers, Arrested Development events and cons in general. Wish I could go to Dallas too so I could see Doris Egan do an informal commentary on House vs. God, still my favorite episode. On the bright side, I now possess the Pushing Daisies DVDs and they are so pretty. Pie-lette is just as perfect as I remembered. I am forever charmed by that show. On my list of favorite all-time shows, PD wins over fifth place which hopefully will continue into TOMORROW, yay!

Links:

[livejournal.com profile] bop_radar's First Vidding Chat talking about vid planning. Feel free to share your thoughts! More background on it here and poll and more discussion here.

The Organization of Transformative Works has released the new fan wiki, Fanlore! Everyone is encouraged to write their own fan history and edit the history of the fandoms they're in.

New community, [livejournal.com profile] queer_as_tv! Basically a community about GLBT representation on television. As I'll watch almost any show that features a gay storyline (case in point, Greek), it's perfect for me.

I love looking at TV ratings cause I love TV too much but if you're interested in how your shows are doing, check out TV By The Numbers. The best thing is the Renew/Cancel Index which predicts which shows will be cancelled or might be by looking at their 18-49 demographic ratings which need to be at 92% of the network's average to have a good chance at surviving. So far Til Death, Old Christine, Lipstick Jungle, Knight Rider, T:TSCC (why is this show not doing better numbers :(), Gary Unmarried, My Name is Earl, Privelled, Prison Break, The Unit, Cold Case and Ugly Betty (noooo) are in danger in order of severity. Thankfully The Office, House, Heroes, Grey's, HIMYM, Gossip Girl, Brothers & Sisters and Supernatural all seem pretty safe. I find it all so fascinating.
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Off to NYC [Sep. 5th, 2008|09:30 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , ]
[Current Music |future vidsong]
[Current Mood |excited]

Off to NYC and for once I'm not taking my laptop...but thankfully my iPod can get WiFi. I'll check in when I can. Have decided to check out Bryant Park, Parsons, Mood, Chelsea and Greenwich Village, can you spot the theme? Thank you, Project Runway. Funny enough, Fashion Week is this week so I'll get to see the tents :) Hopefully the rain tomorrow won't be too bad and Federer will make it to the final *has faith* Should be fun and I really can't wait to see my city again. Not to mention fellow fangirls! Will be doing a lot off walking around some more places in the city but like LA, it's the great kind of city where there's always something cool to look at and scenery to take in. Will be back late Sunday night just in time for classes which so far have been going well. Thank god I have lots of podfic to listen to on the way there and back.

Bye my lovely Flist!
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TV, Gossip Girl, College and NYC [Sep. 2nd, 2008|11:53 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , , , , , , , ]
[Current Music |"The Wanderer" by Marc Broussard]
[Current Mood |rushed]

I'm so happy the fall TV season is finally starting! With the premiere of Gossip Girls and Prison Break yesterday, it's finally begun. I can hardly believe it's September already. I'm still working on catching up with Prison Break so Gossip Girl is my first show of the night. In an effort to not procrastinate and wait to write things until they're perfect thereby never getting to writing them at all, I'm going to try to start posting my first reactions to all the TV I'm watching with some shows getting longer thoughts later or at first. So to begin it, my fun, pretty, melodramatic soap opera is back:

Spoilers for Gossip Girls 201 )

At the moment I'm most excited for House because House/Wilson OMG. Sant Doris Egan proved once again why she is our saint with this AMAZING interview. Mild spoilers for the season but worth it for me. I seriously could not be more excited about this season. Everytime I think, how can it get any more slashier, more canon? And then it does! I mean, look: "I feel like House and Wilson, they deserve mythology. They're larger-than-life characters. YES YES YES. ILU Doris. And when I read that I was like, House and Wilson, they're the stuff of legends. And THEN I remember that Doris wrote two great episodes of Smallville, Hourglass and Hug and in the latter, that's what Lex says to Clark. Clearly, she's awesome. Spoilers for this season from the article )

Funny enough, I just got into Dark Angel and I'm loving it. It's so cool that Doris was a writer on it! The show is definitely appealing to me with kickass Max and the whole character backstory and the world and I LOVE the plotline. Lots of intrigue, great action and suspense. I wish we could get rid of the loser dude but I love her friends. Not into the Logan/Max thing which feels like they're shoving down our throats which I hate but as friends, they're nice and Logan is very hot. Can't wait til Alec shows up though. I'm only on 105 but I can't wait to watch as much as I can! Wish I had the time to marathon it completely. I love that feeling though between this and Slings and Arrows (SO MUCH LOVE), it reminds me why I love TV. But I will say between Dark Angel, the sickening events in Minnesota and a bad experience with a police officer (no ticket though thank god), I'm feeling very anti-police. Way too much power and it freaks me out. On the new TV front, I'm starting to watch Bones and I enjoyed the pilot so at least there's that. Not sure if I'll ship Brennan/Booth but that one wall scene was HOT. I am easy with walls.

I went to the Great NY State Fair for the first time yesterday since I was a kid (which I don't remember) and it was fun! I rode the roller coaster there and the ferris wheel, tried to climb this rock climbing wall (it was HARD), saw a seal lion show which was super cute, petted and saw goats, ponies, llamas (VVC mascot love!), sheep, pigs, chickens and the cutest rabbits ever, saw some fireworks and walked around and saw everything. It was great to finally see everything. At the sea lion show there was the cutest moment when the trainer through a ring for them to catch too far and the other sea lion picked it up and put it on the other sea lion. Awww.

So tomorrow I start college again. I'm taking four classes at the local community college to make sure I'm ready for classes again before I go back to Chapman (plus it's cheaper). I'm really nervous and I know I need to do well after I crashed a nd burned a year ago during spring semester. I'm taking:

Monday, Wednesday and Friday: 9-10 Logic, 10-11 History of American Women (although I may change this if I can find something I like better)
Monday: 6-9 PM History of Ancient Philosophy
Thursday: 6-8:45 PM (can make it back home in time for The Office!) Intro to Microeconomics

I'm much more motivated to do the work and study for them after my time off in the last year so hopefully that will help. Mostly I'm just scared of failing though *worries* I just want to get back to trying to do well in school like I did back in say, seventh grade.

So on Sunday I'm going to NYC to go see the US Open final but I'm going to leave on Saturday so I can do some sightseeing and such (I miss the city!). Does anyone have any recommendations of things to do? I've already seen the Empire State building, Statue of Liberty, Chinatown, Little Italy, Rockerfeller Center, Times Square and probably some other famous attraction I'm forgetting but it was only one week so I probably missed out on a lot. Also, does anyone who lives in the NYC area want to hang out and either come with me or just watch TV/vids? I miss being with other fans! And if anyone has an extra bed or floor space that I could crash on Saturday night, I'd really appreciate it.

I totally forgot about The Office S4 DVD coming out today *facepalm* I've just had a lot on my mind and I didn't see any reminders about it so I totally forgot. Hopefully Target will still have the DVDs with the extra footage on them because I really, really want one.

Okay, time for some 90120! New TV YAY *happiness*
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Not a good day. [Aug. 21st, 2008|06:03 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Current Music |vid songs]
[Current Mood |gloomy]

I usually never do these but it's been a horrible crappy day so here it goes, my thread at the love meme.

So of course today I have to deal with stupid computer shit AGAIN and I'm still dealing with it, yesterday I deal with school crap all because I was an idiot AND I find out that SGA was cancelled :( I did not expect that at all and didn't have a show canceled last season so I totally forgot how that feels. I don't want to lose my Rodney and McShep and Team. It's just not fair and seriously what else does SciFi have without them and BSG? Argh. Still behind on all my VVC catchup as I finish catching up on my Flist and I can't seem to not turn doing my con report into this big overwhelming thing no matter how much I've learned that it's a great way for it to not get done. Thank god for VVC and the vids from it being awesome though, con crud or not. I want to vid though and I can't! It sucks but hopefully I will by the time my birthday comes along. Of the good: I FINALLY found a vidsong for an idea I've had for two years. Hell yeah!

Oh and my aunt (grandma's sister) died last Friday so I'm going to be going to Pittsburgh this Friday and Saturday for the funeral. I didn't know her that well but it's still sad *sigh*

Sorry for the depressing entry, hopefully my squee will return soon.
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Happiness is a good TV show [Jul. 14th, 2008|02:17 am]

anoel
[Tags|, , , ]
[Current Music |"Some Fantastic" by the Barenaked Ladies]
[Current Mood |content]

I am so happy right now. It feels like I have all the ingredients of a perfect night. Earlier today I ran to the mall, watched Get Smart which was full of Steeeve goodness (and Masi!), ran back, had super delicious food and then settled down to watch some damn good television otherwise known as Mad Men. Plus lots of kitty loving and great music in the background. I'm thinking all of that combined put me in a very good mood.

Mad Men has now totally succeeded in hooking me in and I highly recommend it. It's so good! I watched the first two episodes a few months ago or so and was intrigued but watching this third episode has really gotten me to love it. It's so subtle! I love that. And Don is so intriguing in that mysterious kind of way. And I love Rachel too. The opening credits are incredibly beautiful and one of my favorites ever. I love that they're exploring advertising which hasn't been done to death (see cops, medicine and lawyers). Oh and Amber from House is on it! I knew I recognized her and then it just came to me. A few spoilery things about 103 under the cut, Read more... )

Also I finished Burn Notice and enjoyed it very much. Very fun show not to mention all the cool spy things, guns (and the woman who loves them) and pretty Miami.

I love nights like this :D
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Obligatory Celebratory Post \o/ [Jun. 3rd, 2008|11:51 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , ]
[Current Music |"Bare" by Matt Nathan]
[Current Mood |giddy]

YAY Obama! *squee* I am SO happy he won the nomination :D It's been a looong way to get there but he finally did it! It is a happy day. My first time voting in a presidential election, I can actually vote for a candidate I actually believe in and trust. Now if I just ignore my parents, I'll be all set. I'm trying not to get my hopes too high but at the same time I reeeeeeeeally want him to win it. If I thought I was crushed in 2004, this one would devastate me. But for now, I'm thinking positive. It's just so historic and amazing that I get to experience this moment in history. Dare I say it, LEGENDARY.

I will never get over that he loves The Wire. Now don't be Carcetti!

On a personal note, I have decided to try and lose weight to be healthier and the nice looking better benefits. So far, a week and a half, eating better and exercising almost every day for an hour is going well. Took a nice long bike ride today and after a hellish climb up a bunch of hills, I got to soar down lots and lots of hills. Veeery fun. I love that feeling, like I'm flying with the wind against me. One of the reasons I love to bike.

Also, rewatching The Office makes me very, very happy. Casino Night never gets old. And this time Jim actually made me cry. Too sad. Conflict Resolution is another of my favorites that doesn't get enough love in my opinion. I can watch it over and over and it still cracks me up. ART THAT DESTROYS SOULS! Hee. Best picture ever also.
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OMG this is the gayest week(end) of my life [May. 28th, 2008|02:55 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |"Sewn" by The Feeling]
[Current Mood |cheerful]

So I may have spent most of Memorial Day weekend watching all of Brothers & Sisters. But it was so worth it! I enjoyed it greatly and it was so nice to get addicted to a show again for the first time since Oz. I was really annoyed the other day seeing someone describe TV as "visual crack" but you know what? I love my visual crack. The addictive quality is the best part! So I started watching mostly for the gay storylines with low expectations but it turned out to be pretty good. I love the family banter among all the family with all the funny lines and making fun of each other in a affectionate way. My two favorite characters turned out to be Kevin (I am nothing if obvious) and Sarah who I recommend for everyone on my Flist who loves strong, business women who are awesome. Also Sally Field is wonderful as Nora and it's so great seeing Ron Rifkin back on my screen! Odd at first as I kept expecting a Rambaldi reference or him to have some kind of mastermind plan or being weirded out that he has slightly similar relationship to his former psyriatrist on Alias. I wonder if I don't like Balthazar Getty or he just has a habit of picking kind of wooden characters because he's the weakest cast member for me here. The Everwood cast is fun to see here too as well (damn you, Berlanti! hee) and it cracks me up that Robert McAllister is like Bobby from Jack and Bobby. Rob Lowe is pretty but I HATE the politics storyline on the show. There was a great quote that described me from the show, I don't like the fight [of politics], I like supporting the cause. But the family and relationship stuff is great.

It's just so nice to see a gay character (Matthew Rhys is soooo cute as is his accent) get the same amount of time as straight ones in his relationships. There is plenty of boykissing on this show :D It SOOTHES MY SOUL. It really does. I never get enough of it. And Scotty is adorable especially when he smiles and kind of closes his eyes *melts* I'm so easy. It's amazing what having one gay couple can help break up the heteronormality (see also Grey's Anatomy).

Anyways, spoilers: Spoilers for S1-2 of Brothers and Sisters )

I think loving this show is my cue to watch Six Feet Under which while it has a different tone and better overall writing, is all about a family with a family business, a gay character (Michael C. Hall!) with boykissing and Rachel Griffiths. So add that to my long TV watching list. Which speaking of, here's a TV meme about the past TV season:

TV 07-08 Season Meme )

I've been sick with a cold/headache all weekend as well which was annoying but thankfully it's mostly gone. I've been feeling pretty optimistic about my life lately which is always good. This summer I really want to do a lot of things I haven't done before. For one, I want to really explore the city and go out and do stuff which I've never really experienced or seen. Plus I want to visit some places from my childhood that I never really got to say goodbye to. I just never went out a lot in high school and I'd like to really do that. Also I'm planning on going on seeing the US Open finals if I can because I reeeally want to see Federer play (my favorite tennis player) and hopefully tie or beat Pete Sampras's (my previous favorite). I saw them play together a few months ago (on TV) and it was just amazing. So that will be a fun NYC trip.

I've been feeling a lot more romantic for awhile now, Jack/Irina kind of inspired me back in January and it hasn't really gone away so who knows, maybe I'll find someone. It feels like I'm over my two year kind of thing (don't ask) and even though who I'm looking for is rare, you never know. It'd just be nice to actually experience romance versus live vicariously through my favorite TV character although that's always a nice alternative for my hopeless romantic self.

I'm been in kind of a vidding funk in typical horrible timing but I'm working on my 5 facts vid meme I got tagged for and it's just so much fun! It's definitely helping so that's good. Now that TV season is over, hopefully I'll have more time for vidding stuff.

I've been experiencing an Office renaissance with all my love for the show coming back full force as I rewatch the show. It's reminding me why this show is my favorite and why I want to obsess about it so much. I'm still going to be doing my rewatch with clip notes/posts after Vividcon season is over. But for now fun rewatching is always great. It's funny, in the past couple weeks, I've had people on my Flist falling for The Office, Firefly and The Wire and it just makes me SO HAPPY to see such great reactions to them and reminds me of the first time I fell in love with all of them. It really is an amazing feeling and one I wish I could repeat sometime. And that is why I watch so much TV, in that never ending hope that I'll find another show that makes me feel that way and so full of love.
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Totally random dream [May. 13th, 2008|08:13 am]

anoel
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[Current Music |"Such Great Heights" by The Postal Service]
[Current Mood |groggy]

So I just had a dream where I was magically transported to Saudi Arabia. Seriously brain, WTF?! I have no idea where that came from. I don't even know much about the country so I had a hard time imagining a lot heh. But there was an ocean and there was all this orange smoke and lots of wind and I was walking then driving to someone's home. And then I was actually in a movie with a small extra speaking role and then my cousin showed up and it was all really weird. Saudi Arabia, wth? I am perplexed.

Saw the House preview for the next episode again OMGHOLYSHITWTF?! If I'm not crying throughout the episode I don't know what's going to be wrong with me. Oh the beautiful angst.

God I really hate going to work early. Doing it always reminds me how much I hate it.
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Take these lies and make them true [Apr. 7th, 2008|11:52 pm]

anoel
[Tags|, , , , , , , , ]
[Current Mood |romantic]
[Current Music |"Modern Nature" by Sondre Lerche]

So was not having a great day today although most of it was in my head. Going to try some honest personal sharing here.

Personal Stuff )

On a happier note, sometimes I love to ship. So I'm getting addicted to Oz which somehow manages to suck me into all the storylines and yet most of all I ship a fucked up prison love story against all odds and I choose to believe and hope and damn. Sometimes, sometimes, it pays off. And just proves that a couple can start with lies and end up having the love being the truth (see Jack/Irina for more proof) if only for a moment.

Spoilers for Oz up to 308 )

This show really interests me because I've always found redemption interesting which is one of the reasons I loved Angel so much. Moral ambiguity is one of my favorite things to explore in narratives as well as well life and it gets explored greatly on the show. Plus there is Bodie and Carver from The Wire! I've also seen Ryan in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Laguerta from Dexter and Carla from Scrubs. Oh and I saw Law and Order: SVU randomly one day and recognized Kellar as the main lead character in it, Elliot I think. And McManus reminds me sooo much of McNulty.

Was reading some Jack/Irina fic last night which never fails to overwhelm me with love and happiness. Man, I can never get enough of them. I fail at having the words when it comes to them but I will try:

Jack/Irina rambling )

I'm rewatching Pushing Daisies with [livejournal.com profile] lianri and Ned and Chuck are omgsocute. If you want to do pure romance that completely charms me that is how you do it. This is a big reason why PD is one of my favorite shows. Plus Ned is sooo yummy and dreamy (his smile! *romantic sigh*). People are all so gaga over Jim Halpert but if I'm going for a nice guy type, Ned is definitely my first choice for the perfect boyfriend category.

Three more days til The Office! Must not read spoilers must not read any more spoilers. I caved and read some but it's only because I'm so desperate for more of my favorite show! It just completes something inside me and I really need new material for my love. The new episodes all sound great so I'm getting super excited.

In conclusion, shipping makes everything so much better :)
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Favorite Book Rec [Jan. 16th, 2008|01:47 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |"Listen!!!" by Talib Kweli]
[Current Mood |impressed]

Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] laurashapiro! You are such a thoughtful, caring and creative person and I'm so glad you make such wonderful vids and help the vidding community from DIY to panels at VVC.

Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] ringwrench! It was so good to meet you at Vividcon last year and to see in person what a fun, nice and awesome person and I always greatly enjoy your vids.

I have to try to get everyone to read my FAVORITE book in all the world, Whale Talk by Chris Crutcher. There may be more literary masterpieces out there but this novel is the one that has changed my life the most and resonated strongest for me. I first found it in middle school, around 7th grade I think in the library. After I returned it, I went right out to the bookstore and bought it and it became one of the first books I ever bought because I knew I had to read it again and again whenever I wished. Throughout the years, in difficult times I've read it and it's made me feel so much better no matter how depressed or sad I was feeling.

Reading Whale Talk, I've never connected more strongly with all the characters and the themes in it. Emotionally it is a roller coaster of highs and lows, structured beautifully and full of insight. Some of the quotes in it are my all time favorites and help inform my perspective on the world and guide my choices. The main character, T.J is my personal hero and who is a role model in so many ways for me. And yet all the character's are heroes AND real people in their own ways. A lot of it is about belonging and being an outsider which I really identify with but it's also about good and evil, injustice including racism, sexism and classicism, redemption and life and death. It is sports book about swimming but like Friday Night Lights, it's not about that at all. It's written in first person narrative that is extremely entertaining as T.J speaks with a unique tone and perspective (he's also multiracial). It's a young adult book but it's very mature and speaks to adult themes throughout.

I really can't recommend this book highly enough and I encourage everyone out there to read it at some point. For an even better description of it and why you should check it out, [livejournal.com profile] oyceter has a great review of it here. For me, there are no real words to describe Whale Talk but once you do it speaks volumes inside you.
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