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Vividcon 2018 Con Report
It's weird that this is my final Vividcon con report ever. But I started doing con reports since my first one and I want to make sure I finish the tradition. I've been super busy with RL stuff so had to put this on the backburner but finally had some time today to finish this up. Apologies if I forgot something or put the wrong person, just let me know if so and I can fix it. So here is my 13th and final Vividcon con report...
I had an early flight from NYC to Midway on Thursday morning so I took the train to Cumberland and then walked over to the hotel just five minutes before breakfast so I gave a few hugs and then grabbed some food. I remember seeing![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
elipe, bradcpu, milly, jarrow and some other people and was so happy to be back at the Vividcon hotel with everyone. It was weird to be there earlier than usual (I usually get in on Thursday afternoon) but it was nice to have more time with everyone. I hadn't had time to do laundry back in NYC (job stuff took priority) so I did some laundry in the hotel laundry room while hanging out downstairs talking with people and greeting them as they arrived in the lobby. I know I had some good conversations with celli, diannelamerckerithwyn, mresundance, frostfire, dsudis, maristu, medalline, rhoboat, sol_se, jetpack_monkey, barkley and more I'm forgetting. The good news was I had gotten a job offer earlier in the day and I was able to leverage that to get my top choice job to tell me in late afternoon that they were going to hire me! I was so happy that I could relax and enjoy my vacation without being worried about getting a job.
At one point I went to hang out injarrow's room and watch the new version of his "I Did Something Bad" vid (I had betaed it before) and talked a little with him and sisabet who was there. I went downstairs and talked with lola and then went up to her room and had a great talk with her, mresundance and isweedan about vids, job stuff, and kids. After that, I went downstairs to greet and hang out with dragonchic (who was just dropping by) along with milly, bradcpu, kiki_miserychic, jarrow and a few others and it was great to catch up some with her. Next I went down to have pizza and talk to people including getting to talk to klia for the first time in awhile. I went down to collect my badge and program book so I could enjoy looking at all the vids premiering and that got me excited about various vids (like Good Place vids!!). I went to hang out in the Mystery Vid Party for a little while and later hung out with bradcpu, hollywoodgrrl, kiki_miserychic, milly, ohvienna and possibly others talking about all kinds of things and having fun together.
Friday morning I had an early call with the parents who hired me to babysit their ninja kid and then had a nice breakfast downstairs with a couple people I'm forgetting now. I talked with various people around the con suite (I thinkflummery were two of them) until the welcome started. I was really excited to watch all the Challenge vids and start my day right with lots of premiering vids. I particularly loved milly's Tomb Raider vid and lola's Gilmore Girls vid which made me cry a lot even though I had seen it before. It was also great to finally see my Good Wife vid on the big screen as I just love Alicia Florrick sooo much *heart eyes* I hung out in the con suite during lunch and got a chance to talk to some more people there including meeting aurumcalendula for the first time and she was great and showed me a vid in progress. I then went to the Emotion and Best Advice Ever panels which were both super great and filled with useful information. I was feeling really tired and wanted to stay awake during Premieres so I took a nap during the next two panels but I made it back in time for the Relationships panel as that's one of my favorite topics. I had dinner with a ton of people who had gotten Chinese food including bethofalltrades, beerbad, jarrow, winterevanesce, milly and others and it was fun to talk to all of them. We went up to wait in line for Vividcon Premieres at 6pm for nostalgic reasons (partly) and it was great to talk to ohvienna, winterevanesce, jarrow and bradcpu some more before going up to get seats near the front.
Personally, I loved that Premieres was so long this year as there were lots of new awesome vids to watch. I got choked up at the intro vid which was beautiful and it meant a lot to me to hear Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight from my vid at the end of it. There were too many amazing vids to mention but a few of my top favorites were both Black Panther vids bymaristu and heresluck, I Did Something Bad (spoilers for Killing Eve which everyone should watch for the femslash) by jarrow, Sing! by laurashapiro, Change You Like a Remix by bessyboo, Eternity by hollywoodgrrl, Tilted by dar_vidder (one of my favorites from the con), Photograph by milly and Dream by gwyn which I was so happy to see close the show as I helped make it happen as it was a great idea that I knew would be powerful for the final Vividcon. I was a little nervous about my Premiere vid, Visions of Gideon as it was so personal but people were nice about it afterward and offered hugs so that was nice. As always, I love that I have the opportunity to tell people after how much I enjoyed their vids since I'm not great at leaving comments online.
After talking to people in the con area, I talked a little withbradcpu, laurashapiro, milly and kiki_miserychic and then went over to lola's room to talk to her, hederahelix and isweedan about a bunch of things including food. I next went over to bessyboo's room and had fun chatting with her, war_kitten, platinumvampyr, laura47 and Ashley (another one!). It was totally worth staying up late even though I had to wake up early to have breakfast with killabeez where we were joined by hafital and later wickedwords and had an amazing conversation about our lives and books. I barely made it on time to Vid Review but enjoyed not having to take notes and just enjoyed hearing wonderful discussion about the vids. I was upset about one of the comments about my vid as I didn't want to make anyone angry or cause any kind of pain by it (blanket apology to anyone who felt that way). It was really about my personal experience of Vividcon and how much I love it and letting go of it when it was ending and how now I'm totally at peace with it. But it made it hard to focus on the second half of Vid Review as I was processing my emotions although nestra was really kind to me and invited me to have lunch with her, shrift and vonniek at the House o' Meat and it was great to talk to them and hear more about their lives.
I decided to go to the Self-Portrait vidshow as I was in the mood to watch some of the premiering vids there which were all really great and interesting. I was really tired which brings down my mood so I went up to my room, did some meditation and napped and when I woke up, I felt sooo much better. I went to the Town Hall panel where it was great to get an update on where the vidding community is and where it's going and the Multisource panel was good as well. I hung out a little withaurumcalendula and we talked about vids and fandoms and such while I quickly got ready for Club Vivid. I wore a Wonder Women outfit inspired by Jessie Graff (I wore her skort and was in an athletic type outfit to make it easy to dance a lot) and loved getting to see all the wonderful costumes and outfits while drinking and eating before the dancing started. I talked a little with ghost_lingering, seekingferret and kerithwyn as well as various other people (like gwenfrankenstien for the first time!) until the dancing started.
It was especially meaningful to do the Joxer Dance one last time (this was a weird theme throughout the weekend) and I had SO MUCH fun finally getting to dance to Wannabe (amazing Sense8 vid bylaurashapiro at Club Vivid as the Spice Girls were one of the first "fandoms" I had with a couple other friends when I was a young kid. I also really loved absolutedestiny's Disney vid, Cut to the Feeling which made me all nostalgic for my childhood and even included the clip that my main profile pic is made of (Nala <3). Apparently, this was the year for nostalgia fandoms for me as rhoboat made an amazing Titanic vid that I've waited 84 years for since when I was 10, it was a huge "fandom" for me as I got really obsessive about it. Other vids I loved were She Wolf by ghosttownexit and sweetestdrain which included all the best parts of Riverdale ie the women especially Cheryl whose my favorite and Just Dance by hollywoodgrrl which was amazingly trippy and perfectly edited. There were so many new vids and they were all great and I loved seeing such a full dance floor with so many people I know. It was great to finally dance to my own vid with elipie as we loved jamming to that song in the car back in LA.
The finale of Club Vivid was as wonderful as I hoped it would be as I got to dance to so many of my favorite vids such as Vogue, The Evil Queen, A Fannish Taxonomy of Hotness, Goin' Down For Real (it meant a lot for me to dance to this at the final VVC), Get Back, I'm on a Boat, Evil Love Shack of Darkness (dancing withsol_se herself!), Take Me Out, God is a DJ, Party in the Midlands, I Wanna Dance, and finally the last Can't Stop the Rock which was kind of sad but I was determined to still have fun and dance for it. I had so much fun dancing with all my friends at Vividcon and afterward there was a lot of hugging which was nice. When they told us all to leave, it reminded me of "Closing Time" by Semisonic which of course turned up the next day at the con. I talked a little with people outside including svmadelyn and others I'm forgetting and then went to my room to take a quick shower (I was super sweaty from dancing) and then headed over to geekturnedvamp's room to hang out with a group of people eating pizza, talking, and watching vids. After I headed across the hall to bessyboo's room to catch the closing hands of a big game of Fandom Cards Against Humanity and talked a bit before everyone departed to go to sleep.
I slept in and grabbed a late breakfast on Sunday and just barely made it to In Depth Vid Review for the first vid discussion (there was 8 total as we had two hours). As always, it was great to hear so many enlightening comments and I especially enjoyed the discussion about I Did Something Bad. During lunch, I hung out in the con suite and had a few snacks while talking to various people includinglola. Next up was Also Premiering and it was great to have more new vids to watch. I particularly loved Heroes by sisabet which is the Bates Motel I've always wanted, Frankenvid made by the lovely vidders at Vidukon which made me laugh and warmed my heart, and Love Heals which was a beautiful Sense8 vid by butterfly. I really enjoyed the Vividcon History panel which featured con staff members past and present and I loved hearing all the great stories about how Vividcon was founded (shoutout to the amazing astolat for doing it!) and how our traditions came about.
Finally there was the last vidshow, From There to Here, where vidders showed their first vid to show at Vividcon along with a premiering last vid. I was so happy to finally get a chance to watch my first vid that showed at VVC, Volcano, but this time without the tech issues that happened that first time it played. Then I premiered my most personal vid ever about my life using media sources and it was great to see it on the big screen for my final vid as my first vid had RL meaning to me as well but I liked how this time it was more explicit and vulnerable. I loved getting to see all the vids from old favorites (Southwest Voodoo, Without Me, Glorious #1 and What You Waiting for (Spyfam!) especially) as well as wonderful premiering vids. I particularly loved That Time bykiki_miserychic (Eleanor! <3), Supasonic by heresluck (Shuri!!!), and The Parting Glass by milly which gave me lots of feels. Last but not least was the closing hour of the con where everyone shared their favorite memories of Vividcon and what Vividcon has meant to them which was really touching to hear and meant a lot to me. I could never put my full feelings into words but did say something and was proud of myself for not crying throughout.
Yeah....that didn't last. For the last vid of Vividcon,trelkez had made a closing vid about endings in media set to a beautiful, slow cover of Closing Time which was obviously about Vividcon and made me cry a lot ESPECIALLY when she added a source that shall not be named but was SO unfair. But I really loved the vid and it was the perfect ending vid for the con. There were lots of hugs as after the crying vid, we all needed some hugs. I talked with people around the con area and then went to have dinner with laurashapiro at the House of Meat where we had a really amazing conversation about vids and life stuff. On the way out, I talked a little with ride_4ever who I had a few great chats with throughout the con. Later I headed over to hang out with bradcpu, milly, hollywoodgrrl, ohvienna, bethofalltrades, shinyalice, elipie, kiki_miserychic, winterevanesce and later trelkez. We had fun talking about vids, TGIF/F, fandoms, life stuff and lots of random things along with coming up with a hilarious mashup for my GDFR vid. We stayed up late talking and then finally I went to bed for the last night at the hotel at Vividcon.
On Monday, I went downstairs to have hotel breakfast and talked with a few people while there. Then began the sad time of saying goodbye to everyone as they left with plenty of hugs at least. I'm not going to name everyone but it was great to see everyone before I left (not til later in the afternoon) and for the last hour, I hung out withbradcpu, milly, elipie, kiki_miserychic, absolutedestiny, jarrow, winterevanesce and possibly others? I gave everyone last hugs and then left to catch the shuttle to the train and had an uneventful trip home. I always mean to do the con report then but I got hit with a vid idea for TGIF/F at the airport and spent the whole time planning and beginning to clip the show for it. It was fun to get excited about a new vid idea to make as that hasn't happened in a few months. Ultimately I wasn't as upset about Vividcon actually ending as I had imagined and I was glad I had spent the last year and a half making my peace with it so I could enjoy the con in a happy place full of love.
I feel like I should have some deep and meaningful thoughts that can conclude on my times at Vividcon but I feel likekass did that better than I ever could in the end of her con report. I'm just so glad that I found vidding as a creative outlet and that Vividcon was there for me as a community when I was young. I was 15 when I fell in love with vidding and I was so happy that I finally found a creative activity that *fit* me in a way that writing never did. I found media fandom on Livejournal in early 2003 through a google search for vidding to help improve my first vid which led me to bonibaru's vid recs and vid meta recs site which led me to vid meta posts and tons of amazing vids to watch. I had to wait until 2006 to come (the 2005 envy was HUGE) but I will always idealize my first year as a beautiful time where everything was new and special and finally got to meet tons of online people I admired while finally feeling like there was a place where I belonged with people who are creative, smart, kind, generous, and who work towards improvement of their vids. Even 13 years later when I have grown and changed so much, I still feel feel that sense of belonging and specialness at this con and I'm grateful it's been there for me.
It's always been so inspiring to be around so many impressive vids and people at Vividcon that helped me finish vids, learn to *read* vids better, and improve my own vids. I'm so happy that I was able to create vids for the con that people have really connected to and glad that I've made so much progress in my vidding. I've loved the panels/vid reviews where I could be around so much intelligent analysis of vids that it's hard to find online. I appreciated that Vividcon has been a place where we could be very analytical but also full of squee and emotions and that both are valued. Club Vivid has been a paradise to me whether I was drunk or not and I finally could dance in a club that was perfectly attuned to my interests and people I love being with who all celebrate vids whether they were new premieres or classic favorites. I have such fond memories of seeing various vids during vidshows and getting to have that extra emotional reaction laughing, crying or cheering with other people (see the catbaby vid!). The hotel itself became like a home to me in that I was so familiar with it, had spent so much time there over the years and had so many happy memories with the people at Vividcon. I even call the staircase to the second floor, the "Stairway to Heaven" as that's what it is to me.
Most of all, I've loved getting to know and become friends with (in various depths) so many of the amazing people who come to Vividcon. There have been so many conversations and group hangouts that I'll never forget and that left a big impact on my life and made me so happy in the moment and in memories. The room parties, the lunches (I will forever miss the Thai restaurant with the best pad thai!), the con suite and in between panel talks, the late night conversations were all so special to me and because we were all at the hotel, we could so easily connect in a special way from our online conversation. I've carried on the relationships at VVC in other locations including in LA and NYC (and while traveling) that have meant a lot to me and my life would be incredibly different (negatively) without them. I've always felt that Vividcon was a family to me in the sense that I'd see many people once a year and online and I've felt safe and supported there with both the deep relationships and shallow connections appreciated. I hope to keep seeing people in the future (lmk of any of you come to NYC or within 3-4 hours of it if you want to hang out) whether it's during travel or cons or even online. And please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you ever need someone to talk to or someone to help with resources, problem solving or advice as I will always be there for all of you, non-Vividcon attending vidding people included.
I loved knowing that each year I had something special to look forward which kept me going through the tough moments. In the last two years, when life has been the toughest ever due to depression and RL stuff, thinking of attending Vividcon has kept me from giving up and a reason to keep on going when I was sick of trying and being in pain, and I'm so grateful for that. In that process, I found other things to get me excited about living in a world without Vividcon and part of those realizations came from friends I made at Vividcon. While I disagree about some of the reasons that Vividcon was ended, I now believe it may actually be a good transition in my life as I find fewer things to be fannish about (I barely read fic or am interested in reading show/ship discussion anymore) and want to focus on other things such as starting my own business and building deeper relationships in RL and with my family. I plan to have a child in the next 5 years so I also will be spending a lot of time working on improving my childcare skills, knowledge and experience so I can be as prepared as I can. I will never say I'll stop vidding and have vids planned for the next year but not having the Vividcon pressure to make vids will be nice. Currently, I'm planning on attending TGIF/F and maybe Wiscon next year but am also excited about taking a trip to Italy next summer instead of going to a summer con as I have in the past. With a car, I also have more opportunity to visit fans in the northeast and will always stay in touch with the vidding community online along with the other fannish connections I've made.
Thank you again to everyone on the concom and to all the people who made the con keep running each year even through the many technical issues we've had to deal with as you all have my deep admiration and gratefulness. Thank you to all the people who have made my Vividcon better in any shape and form and who have been so kind to me and given me so much happiness. My memories of Vividcon all blend together now but I mostly remember the good times and even though I will always miss this con and still wish it could last forever, I am so happy I lived through a time where Vividcon existed and I was able to find this community and share incredible moments together. I love you Vividcon and Vividcon people and always will <3
I had an early flight from NYC to Midway on Thursday morning so I took the train to Cumberland and then walked over to the hotel just five minutes before breakfast so I gave a few hugs and then grabbed some food. I remember seeing
elipe, bradcpu, milly, jarrow and some other people and was so happy to be back at the Vividcon hotel with everyone. It was weird to be there earlier than usual (I usually get in on Thursday afternoon) but it was nice to have more time with everyone. I hadn't had time to do laundry back in NYC (job stuff took priority) so I did some laundry in the hotel laundry room while hanging out downstairs talking with people and greeting them as they arrived in the lobby. I know I had some good conversations with celli, diannelamerckerithwyn, mresundance, frostfire, dsudis, maristu, medalline, rhoboat, sol_se, jetpack_monkey, barkley and more I'm forgetting. The good news was I had gotten a job offer earlier in the day and I was able to leverage that to get my top choice job to tell me in late afternoon that they were going to hire me! I was so happy that I could relax and enjoy my vacation without being worried about getting a job.At one point I went to hang out in
jarrow's room and watch the new version of his "I Did Something Bad" vid (I had betaed it before) and talked a little with him and sisabet who was there. I went downstairs and talked with lola and then went up to her room and had a great talk with her, mresundance and isweedan about vids, job stuff, and kids. After that, I went downstairs to greet and hang out with dragonchic (who was just dropping by) along with milly, bradcpu, kiki_miserychic, jarrow and a few others and it was great to catch up some with her. Next I went down to have pizza and talk to people including getting to talk to klia for the first time in awhile. I went down to collect my badge and program book so I could enjoy looking at all the vids premiering and that got me excited about various vids (like Good Place vids!!). I went to hang out in the Mystery Vid Party for a little while and later hung out with bradcpu, hollywoodgrrl, kiki_miserychic, milly, ohvienna and possibly others talking about all kinds of things and having fun together. Friday morning I had an early call with the parents who hired me to babysit their ninja kid and then had a nice breakfast downstairs with a couple people I'm forgetting now. I talked with various people around the con suite (I think
flummery were two of them) until the welcome started. I was really excited to watch all the Challenge vids and start my day right with lots of premiering vids. I particularly loved milly's Tomb Raider vid and lola's Gilmore Girls vid which made me cry a lot even though I had seen it before. It was also great to finally see my Good Wife vid on the big screen as I just love Alicia Florrick sooo much *heart eyes* I hung out in the con suite during lunch and got a chance to talk to some more people there including meeting aurumcalendula for the first time and she was great and showed me a vid in progress. I then went to the Emotion and Best Advice Ever panels which were both super great and filled with useful information. I was feeling really tired and wanted to stay awake during Premieres so I took a nap during the next two panels but I made it back in time for the Relationships panel as that's one of my favorite topics. I had dinner with a ton of people who had gotten Chinese food including bethofalltrades, beerbad, jarrow, winterevanesce, milly and others and it was fun to talk to all of them. We went up to wait in line for Vividcon Premieres at 6pm for nostalgic reasons (partly) and it was great to talk to ohvienna, winterevanesce, jarrow and bradcpu some more before going up to get seats near the front. Personally, I loved that Premieres was so long this year as there were lots of new awesome vids to watch. I got choked up at the intro vid which was beautiful and it meant a lot to me to hear Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight from my vid at the end of it. There were too many amazing vids to mention but a few of my top favorites were both Black Panther vids by
maristu and heresluck, I Did Something Bad (spoilers for Killing Eve which everyone should watch for the femslash) by jarrow, Sing! by laurashapiro, Change You Like a Remix by bessyboo, Eternity by hollywoodgrrl, Tilted by dar_vidder (one of my favorites from the con), Photograph by milly and Dream by gwyn which I was so happy to see close the show as I helped make it happen as it was a great idea that I knew would be powerful for the final Vividcon. I was a little nervous about my Premiere vid, Visions of Gideon as it was so personal but people were nice about it afterward and offered hugs so that was nice. As always, I love that I have the opportunity to tell people after how much I enjoyed their vids since I'm not great at leaving comments online. After talking to people in the con area, I talked a little with
bradcpu, laurashapiro, milly and kiki_miserychic and then went over to lola's room to talk to her, hederahelix and isweedan about a bunch of things including food. I next went over to bessyboo's room and had fun chatting with her, war_kitten, platinumvampyr, laura47 and Ashley (another one!). It was totally worth staying up late even though I had to wake up early to have breakfast with killabeez where we were joined by hafital and later wickedwords and had an amazing conversation about our lives and books. I barely made it on time to Vid Review but enjoyed not having to take notes and just enjoyed hearing wonderful discussion about the vids. I was upset about one of the comments about my vid as I didn't want to make anyone angry or cause any kind of pain by it (blanket apology to anyone who felt that way). It was really about my personal experience of Vividcon and how much I love it and letting go of it when it was ending and how now I'm totally at peace with it. But it made it hard to focus on the second half of Vid Review as I was processing my emotions although nestra was really kind to me and invited me to have lunch with her, shrift and vonniek at the House o' Meat and it was great to talk to them and hear more about their lives.I decided to go to the Self-Portrait vidshow as I was in the mood to watch some of the premiering vids there which were all really great and interesting. I was really tired which brings down my mood so I went up to my room, did some meditation and napped and when I woke up, I felt sooo much better. I went to the Town Hall panel where it was great to get an update on where the vidding community is and where it's going and the Multisource panel was good as well. I hung out a little with
aurumcalendula and we talked about vids and fandoms and such while I quickly got ready for Club Vivid. I wore a Wonder Women outfit inspired by Jessie Graff (I wore her skort and was in an athletic type outfit to make it easy to dance a lot) and loved getting to see all the wonderful costumes and outfits while drinking and eating before the dancing started. I talked a little with ghost_lingering, seekingferret and kerithwyn as well as various other people (like gwenfrankenstien for the first time!) until the dancing started. It was especially meaningful to do the Joxer Dance one last time (this was a weird theme throughout the weekend) and I had SO MUCH fun finally getting to dance to Wannabe (amazing Sense8 vid by
laurashapiro at Club Vivid as the Spice Girls were one of the first "fandoms" I had with a couple other friends when I was a young kid. I also really loved absolutedestiny's Disney vid, Cut to the Feeling which made me all nostalgic for my childhood and even included the clip that my main profile pic is made of (Nala <3). Apparently, this was the year for nostalgia fandoms for me as rhoboat made an amazing Titanic vid that I've waited 84 years for since when I was 10, it was a huge "fandom" for me as I got really obsessive about it. Other vids I loved were She Wolf by ghosttownexit and sweetestdrain which included all the best parts of Riverdale ie the women especially Cheryl whose my favorite and Just Dance by hollywoodgrrl which was amazingly trippy and perfectly edited. There were so many new vids and they were all great and I loved seeing such a full dance floor with so many people I know. It was great to finally dance to my own vid with elipie as we loved jamming to that song in the car back in LA. The finale of Club Vivid was as wonderful as I hoped it would be as I got to dance to so many of my favorite vids such as Vogue, The Evil Queen, A Fannish Taxonomy of Hotness, Goin' Down For Real (it meant a lot for me to dance to this at the final VVC), Get Back, I'm on a Boat, Evil Love Shack of Darkness (dancing with
sol_se herself!), Take Me Out, God is a DJ, Party in the Midlands, I Wanna Dance, and finally the last Can't Stop the Rock which was kind of sad but I was determined to still have fun and dance for it. I had so much fun dancing with all my friends at Vividcon and afterward there was a lot of hugging which was nice. When they told us all to leave, it reminded me of "Closing Time" by Semisonic which of course turned up the next day at the con. I talked a little with people outside including svmadelyn and others I'm forgetting and then went to my room to take a quick shower (I was super sweaty from dancing) and then headed over to geekturnedvamp's room to hang out with a group of people eating pizza, talking, and watching vids. After I headed across the hall to bessyboo's room to catch the closing hands of a big game of Fandom Cards Against Humanity and talked a bit before everyone departed to go to sleep.I slept in and grabbed a late breakfast on Sunday and just barely made it to In Depth Vid Review for the first vid discussion (there was 8 total as we had two hours). As always, it was great to hear so many enlightening comments and I especially enjoyed the discussion about I Did Something Bad. During lunch, I hung out in the con suite and had a few snacks while talking to various people including
lola. Next up was Also Premiering and it was great to have more new vids to watch. I particularly loved Heroes by sisabet which is the Bates Motel I've always wanted, Frankenvid made by the lovely vidders at Vidukon which made me laugh and warmed my heart, and Love Heals which was a beautiful Sense8 vid by butterfly. I really enjoyed the Vividcon History panel which featured con staff members past and present and I loved hearing all the great stories about how Vividcon was founded (shoutout to the amazing astolat for doing it!) and how our traditions came about. Finally there was the last vidshow, From There to Here, where vidders showed their first vid to show at Vividcon along with a premiering last vid. I was so happy to finally get a chance to watch my first vid that showed at VVC, Volcano, but this time without the tech issues that happened that first time it played. Then I premiered my most personal vid ever about my life using media sources and it was great to see it on the big screen for my final vid as my first vid had RL meaning to me as well but I liked how this time it was more explicit and vulnerable. I loved getting to see all the vids from old favorites (Southwest Voodoo, Without Me, Glorious #1 and What You Waiting for (Spyfam!) especially) as well as wonderful premiering vids. I particularly loved That Time by
kiki_miserychic (Eleanor! <3), Supasonic by heresluck (Shuri!!!), and The Parting Glass by milly which gave me lots of feels. Last but not least was the closing hour of the con where everyone shared their favorite memories of Vividcon and what Vividcon has meant to them which was really touching to hear and meant a lot to me. I could never put my full feelings into words but did say something and was proud of myself for not crying throughout.Yeah....that didn't last. For the last vid of Vividcon,
trelkez had made a closing vid about endings in media set to a beautiful, slow cover of Closing Time which was obviously about Vividcon and made me cry a lot ESPECIALLY when she added a source that shall not be named but was SO unfair. But I really loved the vid and it was the perfect ending vid for the con. There were lots of hugs as after the crying vid, we all needed some hugs. I talked with people around the con area and then went to have dinner with laurashapiro at the House of Meat where we had a really amazing conversation about vids and life stuff. On the way out, I talked a little with ride_4ever who I had a few great chats with throughout the con. Later I headed over to hang out with bradcpu, milly, hollywoodgrrl, ohvienna, bethofalltrades, shinyalice, elipie, kiki_miserychic, winterevanesce and later trelkez. We had fun talking about vids, TGIF/F, fandoms, life stuff and lots of random things along with coming up with a hilarious mashup for my GDFR vid. We stayed up late talking and then finally I went to bed for the last night at the hotel at Vividcon.On Monday, I went downstairs to have hotel breakfast and talked with a few people while there. Then began the sad time of saying goodbye to everyone as they left with plenty of hugs at least. I'm not going to name everyone but it was great to see everyone before I left (not til later in the afternoon) and for the last hour, I hung out with
bradcpu, milly, elipie, kiki_miserychic, absolutedestiny, jarrow, winterevanesce and possibly others? I gave everyone last hugs and then left to catch the shuttle to the train and had an uneventful trip home. I always mean to do the con report then but I got hit with a vid idea for TGIF/F at the airport and spent the whole time planning and beginning to clip the show for it. It was fun to get excited about a new vid idea to make as that hasn't happened in a few months. Ultimately I wasn't as upset about Vividcon actually ending as I had imagined and I was glad I had spent the last year and a half making my peace with it so I could enjoy the con in a happy place full of love.I feel like I should have some deep and meaningful thoughts that can conclude on my times at Vividcon but I feel like
kass did that better than I ever could in the end of her con report. I'm just so glad that I found vidding as a creative outlet and that Vividcon was there for me as a community when I was young. I was 15 when I fell in love with vidding and I was so happy that I finally found a creative activity that *fit* me in a way that writing never did. I found media fandom on Livejournal in early 2003 through a google search for vidding to help improve my first vid which led me to bonibaru's vid recs and vid meta recs site which led me to vid meta posts and tons of amazing vids to watch. I had to wait until 2006 to come (the 2005 envy was HUGE) but I will always idealize my first year as a beautiful time where everything was new and special and finally got to meet tons of online people I admired while finally feeling like there was a place where I belonged with people who are creative, smart, kind, generous, and who work towards improvement of their vids. Even 13 years later when I have grown and changed so much, I still feel feel that sense of belonging and specialness at this con and I'm grateful it's been there for me.It's always been so inspiring to be around so many impressive vids and people at Vividcon that helped me finish vids, learn to *read* vids better, and improve my own vids. I'm so happy that I was able to create vids for the con that people have really connected to and glad that I've made so much progress in my vidding. I've loved the panels/vid reviews where I could be around so much intelligent analysis of vids that it's hard to find online. I appreciated that Vividcon has been a place where we could be very analytical but also full of squee and emotions and that both are valued. Club Vivid has been a paradise to me whether I was drunk or not and I finally could dance in a club that was perfectly attuned to my interests and people I love being with who all celebrate vids whether they were new premieres or classic favorites. I have such fond memories of seeing various vids during vidshows and getting to have that extra emotional reaction laughing, crying or cheering with other people (see the catbaby vid!). The hotel itself became like a home to me in that I was so familiar with it, had spent so much time there over the years and had so many happy memories with the people at Vividcon. I even call the staircase to the second floor, the "Stairway to Heaven" as that's what it is to me.
Most of all, I've loved getting to know and become friends with (in various depths) so many of the amazing people who come to Vividcon. There have been so many conversations and group hangouts that I'll never forget and that left a big impact on my life and made me so happy in the moment and in memories. The room parties, the lunches (I will forever miss the Thai restaurant with the best pad thai!), the con suite and in between panel talks, the late night conversations were all so special to me and because we were all at the hotel, we could so easily connect in a special way from our online conversation. I've carried on the relationships at VVC in other locations including in LA and NYC (and while traveling) that have meant a lot to me and my life would be incredibly different (negatively) without them. I've always felt that Vividcon was a family to me in the sense that I'd see many people once a year and online and I've felt safe and supported there with both the deep relationships and shallow connections appreciated. I hope to keep seeing people in the future (lmk of any of you come to NYC or within 3-4 hours of it if you want to hang out) whether it's during travel or cons or even online. And please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you ever need someone to talk to or someone to help with resources, problem solving or advice as I will always be there for all of you, non-Vividcon attending vidding people included.
I loved knowing that each year I had something special to look forward which kept me going through the tough moments. In the last two years, when life has been the toughest ever due to depression and RL stuff, thinking of attending Vividcon has kept me from giving up and a reason to keep on going when I was sick of trying and being in pain, and I'm so grateful for that. In that process, I found other things to get me excited about living in a world without Vividcon and part of those realizations came from friends I made at Vividcon. While I disagree about some of the reasons that Vividcon was ended, I now believe it may actually be a good transition in my life as I find fewer things to be fannish about (I barely read fic or am interested in reading show/ship discussion anymore) and want to focus on other things such as starting my own business and building deeper relationships in RL and with my family. I plan to have a child in the next 5 years so I also will be spending a lot of time working on improving my childcare skills, knowledge and experience so I can be as prepared as I can. I will never say I'll stop vidding and have vids planned for the next year but not having the Vividcon pressure to make vids will be nice. Currently, I'm planning on attending TGIF/F and maybe Wiscon next year but am also excited about taking a trip to Italy next summer instead of going to a summer con as I have in the past. With a car, I also have more opportunity to visit fans in the northeast and will always stay in touch with the vidding community online along with the other fannish connections I've made.
Thank you again to everyone on the concom and to all the people who made the con keep running each year even through the many technical issues we've had to deal with as you all have my deep admiration and gratefulness. Thank you to all the people who have made my Vividcon better in any shape and form and who have been so kind to me and given me so much happiness. My memories of Vividcon all blend together now but I mostly remember the good times and even though I will always miss this con and still wish it could last forever, I am so happy I lived through a time where Vividcon existed and I was able to find this community and share incredible moments together. I love you Vividcon and Vividcon people and always will <3
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