| Cold/College Thoughts |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|07:24 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | college, personal | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Don't Panic" by Coldplay | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
Been feeling down about the weather and my chances to go to college in California. It's above normal for the weather here and I still feel cold all the time. Our school is freezing in every room and even though people complain, they do nothing about it. Some kids today actually decided to open a window because they were "hot". What the hell? So stupid. It's hard to concentrate when you're shivering and it's hard in a school setting to wear more than two layers. I just hate the cold so much, it is my most hated enemy and represents to me the lack of freedom I have. It constrains me, chains me to my present life and dulls the life out of me. I just can't stand it anymore and the thought that this is my last winter is the only hope that's keeping me going.
I'm applying to 6 colleges in California and I think I'll get some of them. Problem is, my parents are messed up with the financial system and probably won't be able to pay the EFC on the FAFSA. Filling it out now and it doesn't look good especially as our income increased without much change in money saved for college. Everyone always says the state college but I can't do that because I can't stand the weather anymore as well as the close distance to my parents who I really need some freedom from. Everytime I try to even consider that option, I start crying and can't take the thought so that's no option for me. I'm going to California no matter what, if I can't get into college there, I'll just fly by myself and go there, get a job, see what happens. It's just it sucks to probably be losing the dream to be able to have a new chance at college. I've never had a fair chance at my high school because of the weird schedule, the cold and being stuck with my parents and I really wanted to try to be on my own and enjoy and learn from my college life. Oh well, I guess. Life is just so unfair.
I'm been feeling emotional lately and just tired of school, tired period because my sleep schedule's way out of whack. I've got a lot of stuff to do but I get stuck on some of them and have a hard time completing the rest.
ETA: So I filled out the FAFSA and the predicted EFC doesn't look so bad so maybe there's hope :)
Sorry for the depressing info. I go through cycles of good and bad and at the moment the latter is prominent. |
|
|
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}