Worst Dream Ever

[anoel]

So why I am awake a few hours earlier than I planned? I had a really bad dream for the first time in a long time. And when I say bad, I mean by fandom standards but still...it broke me. The first part was unrealistic (as many dreams are) as I was sitting in my middle school cafeteria talking to my two friends across for me as well as Ryan (!) from Whose Line to the right of me. And we were having a good time talking, about the entertainment business and I was talking about how I usually just like characters from shows and ignore the actors but in his case it's different (which is true). And we were actually getting to know each other and having fun which makes you and me think this is actually an excellent dream.

Then it gets even more surreal as there's this animal tank with kittens and iguana's and maybe even fish, I don't remember, but it was big. But apparently Colin was in there, as an animal I guess, don't look at me, I don't make these things up. And then there was this heart monitor and all of a sudden it started beeping and me and Ryan got all scared. There was some commotion (don't remember exactly) but then it was fine again. But then it happened again and kept getting worse and we couldn't find Colin in there which led to total freaking out on Ryan's part who was looking all through the tank and at the different animals (because we couldn't find Colin in there). And then it started that death sound and Ryan was pleading and begging no and then he said "Please don't die Colin, I'll be with you, I'll be with you, just don't die" in this heartwrenching voice that just broke me. And I could tell he met that he'd leave his family and everything behind for their love...that's the part I remember most and it just completely broke me. And then he actually died and I couldn't believe it and Ryan started just sobbing and then left and was in the cage hiding with the cats with no sound and you could tell he was just shocked in disbelief and couldn't feel anything.

So then that was bad enough but then I woke up in my grandma's house and went to the TV and it said Colin was dead again! I just about died on the spot and was in total disbelief and went and checked the newspapers and it said the same thing. I was shaking my head and couldn't believe it and just kept saying to my family that now I would never see them doing improv, that I was going to see so many of his shows and now I couldn't, that Ryan would be hurt, that all the fans would and that now I could never see the show without being in pain with his death. It was just horrible. Finally I woke up, for real this time and the emotion of it, the horribleness of it got and is still getting to me. I mean, he died twice, once is bad enough. It's the emotion effect that always affects me after dreams and this was just so real that it hurt me. Now I'm saying, please don't die Colin, I just couldn't handle it if you did. So I checked his website and read some of his questions and I'm still thanking god that he's not dead because that would be a nightmare come true for me. That line from Ryan still gets to me because you could hear the depth of sadness, of sacrificing everything in his voice *cry* And now I will go off in distraction for good, happy, slashy Ryan/Colin/Whose Line things.

Comments

[anoel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, same, for me they are RyanandColin and you can't have one without the other. Which is why when you read about Colin going to where Ryan is in Washington a lot to visit, I was so happy. But yeah, they really need to spend more time together.

Don't you hate that? But then again, I've had the opposite feeling enough that I should be thankful. But some dreams are just so niice. I am thankful for the dream kissing though, every bit is better than nothing. I'm sure you'll dream more of Colin in the future though :)

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

I know! I'm so excited at the thought of Colin still going up to Washington to visit Ryan, especially 'cause I was worried at one point that they weren't really good friends anymore. Which led to an insane (but interesting) post about deconstructing Ryan and Colin where everyone chimed in with their thoughts... *g* Hmm, I should try to find that 'cause I don't think you were on my Friends List at that point and you might like it...

Ah! Found it. There you go. Knock yourself out. *g*

http://emilyfairy.livejournal.com/218539.html

Some of this stuff isn't valid anymore, 'cause I've learned even more since then, but it's still a good read, I think. *g*

Emily :)

[anoel.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the link, that was right about when I was getting into the fandom. Very interesting to have you all talking about it and you brought up a lot of good points (so funny seeing everyone talking about real lives in slash fashion hehe). I don't think they could ever stop being good friends with each other though, the time they've spent together has cemented that bond, I think.

And I just noticed your icon and I love it! Hee, I love the boa constrictor.