Defying Gravity

Defying Gravity

Anoel

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Quiz

[Jul. 23rd, 2004|11:07 pm]

anoel

[	Tags	\|	meme, personal	]
[	Current Music	\|	"Haunted" by Poe	]
[	Current Mood	\|	awake	]

Your soul is OPEN-MINDED. Although you do have
strong opinions and make decisions, you never
make them without thinking first of not only
everything that is, but those that may not be
as well. People trust that you'll willingly
hear them out and understand when they tell you
something, and you are well-liked for it. You
are often the mediator in disputes and your
desire to do what is right overcomes all else.
You are an understanding and admirable soul.

What Is Your Soul's Trait?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well I certainly try to be. Its one of the traits I admire most and I strive to keep this outlook. (ETA: That was me trying to be openminded enough to accept it might not be true ;))

I liked the quiz though. The answers were interesting and I could find ones that were like me to choose.

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Depth

[Jul. 22nd, 2004|03:55 am]

anoel

[	Tags	\|	fanfic, lex luthor, personal, vid rec, vidding	]
[	Current Mood	\|	thoughtful	]
[	Current Music	\|	"Haunted" by Poe	]

What truly interests me in a story? In a character? Vid? Fanfic?

I think the major thing is depth. I can be tolerant with a lot of things but I want to know there's more than just the shallow (unless that's what I'm looking for and thats not usually what I'm truly invested in). I may be the only one seeing it but that's why its personal. I want to look at something and be amazed at how complex it really is. I might have only a vague notion of it but I know it runs deep. Inside I can see layers upon layers of tunnels, twists, mazes that never end and are all connected. The fun part is to try to capture those specific little pieces and then frame them all into the bigger picture.

It's like a cycle. First I feel that overwhelming feeling of knowing that this depth exists. Thats when I'm seeing the whole thing. Then I try to find this complexity and investigate all the small bits of it. Gradually they interconnect together and finally I'm back where I began, amazed at how it all fits together into one big whole. I've never quite deciphered it all but the best thing is that it doesn't need to be. That mystery is what makes it even better and more interesting.

For example, one of the characters I love the most, Lex is exactly like this for me. Anyone on a journey from good to bad must have to be pretty complex. And he completly is. Sure, I love the outside image he presents but I'm really drawn to him because I know there is so much there, under the surface. He has so many phases in his life, the scared little kid, the rebellious youth and now the ambitious buisness man. He blurs these transitions as he fights to stop the inevitable phase of evil villian. But through it all I can always find so much in him and its always interesting. He just makes me feel that there is always more to him, that his being is like a black hole, an infinite universe that I can never fully explore, but I want to try.

In vids I also want to have that. No matter what it is, if I feel there is more under the surface, I'll keep watching endlessly until I figure it out. A vid example of this is Superstar by

heres_luck What got to me in this vid is how deeply it goes into Faith, into her psyche. I'm totally drawn in, I want to know more but I can never fully know. Which of course, always leads me back for more. The vid itself is extremely complex as well, it equally matches the character study and reinforces it. The technical mastery and artistic beauty is beautiful and there is always more to it. I keep watching the vid and finding all the little things that make it so good. But it always leads back to the overall effect it has.

Another vid that gets to me is Haunted by Seah and Margie, at Seah and Margie's Vids. I have no knowledge of the fandom and that made it a bit confusing but I was sucked in by how interesting it seemed. And then came the ultimate: Big Emotion. Helped by the song but the visuals and build up made it even more prominent. I truly felt how deep the emotion was and it sent me soaring, to a place I could go and explore and never get tired of it and there is always more there to discover. I want to feel deeply and that is exactly what i got, not shallow feeling, but the real, genuine thing. That's what pulls me into these worlds.

The same thing goes for fics.

katallison amazes me with the depth of her Highlander fics (havent read the rest of the fics yet) and I can read her stories over and over again. For example, One for the Road I love because of all the little things put in the story. Nothing was random, or at least I have to believe that. Because in every detail, in every part, it expresses something that speaks to the larger meaning. For me, the interesting part that I love is trying to discover it all. Oh and for Big Emotion goodness, The Parting Glass gets to me in a way that few things have ever done to me. With this I identify so strongly that I know its touching all the emotional centers in me and it turns the tables on me, so that I am the subject. Now I can even see the complex inside of me. And that to me is what all these art forms are supposed to do, to reveal something new inside myself and give me a new understanding of myself and the world. That occurs especially in the fic, Strata which I loved the most for its theme and how deeply it resonated with me. And since this is quickly turning into a rec, I say, go off and read the fics now, here at Kat Allison's Fic.

Really, all I want is that depth. That's what I'm searching for and will continue to journey down those infinite paths.

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Trampoline Sanctuary

[Jul. 1st, 2004|11:12 pm]

anoel

[	Tags	\|	personal, rl	]
[	Current Music	\|	"Summer Breeze" remix by Seals & Crofts	]
[	Current Mood	\|	bouncy	]

I wrote this last night but lj wouldn't let me post it so keep that in mind:

So today is the last day at my cousin's house in PA before I'm go back home. Overall I'd say it’s been a pretty good trip, better than last time's at least. Sure my brother is still being a jerk and my mom still goes along with it but I’m used to it and I try to ignore it. It’s like an animal haven over here, they have a ton of animals, about 8+ cats and 4 dogs all of which I have my aunt animal lover (like me) to thank. I love to be around them, they’re so sweet and one of them, Petey, who’s one of my old favorites is always there at night when I go to sleep. He's by my side so I can pet and hold him in paradise *sigh*

Its really fun being with my cousin Holly as well. I finally think I've figured out her type, ESFP and for enneagram type, she's a 7w6 so/sx (still not sure about the variants). Good thing she's around, I need a nice person to hang out with that satisfies my crazed social variant's acceptance need. It really shone out when we went to an amusement park on Sunday. That was a LOT of fun. It's great having someone you can count on to ride with you and someone you can chat and joke around with. This is why I wish sooo much she was my sister instead. Ah well. She'd probably get annoying even quicker then lol but at least we'd still have a like foundation under that. I really enjoyed the roller coasters at the park though, I just love that sensation I get when I go over the hills. My cousin and I like to go in the back and this time we tried something different-we looked back while going down the big hills. Major freaky coolness. It was in my favorite roller coaster ride, where I love to practically fall out of my seat and feel like I'm flying, almost. Today I went to her swim meet and that was cool. As usual I was impressed by the athletics.

One of the great things she has at her house is a trampoline. They've had it for years, ever since I was a kid. At the moment I've been really enjoying it. In the past we used to do fun things on it like play this flashlight game where me, both my cousins (the other is an older guy xSTP) and my brother would bounce around a flashlight turned on, in the dark and we had to make sure we didn’t get hit or we were out. Or we'd take turns sitting in the middle and the others would try to bounce them really high lol. Good times.

But I've been using it for what I call my *Trampoline Sanctuary* especially perfect for any time I need a place to be alone. I love it most at night, in the dark because I love that atmosphere the most. I go out and take my music with me. See, when I got to PA, I found a bunch of radio stations that I thought had some good songs and programmed my radio to have them. Ah, the things I do for music...Anyway, its really great to get my energy out and I just find some good music to listen to and jump around to it, following my mood and emotions. It's a lot of fun and gives me a chance to think. Most of the songs are love songs, of course lol, so I think about that a lot but also anything that catches my mind. It's very peaceful for me to do.

Actually I think it's time for me to do it now. Off I go...

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