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The Plan (no, not that one) /SFU reference [Jan. 13th, 2009|07:53 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |frustrated]
[Current Music |"This World" by Zero 7]

So I've developed a plan for my year to try to get some of my dreams and goals accomplished. I'm really excited about it and have been making daily to do lists in order to keep tabs on what I need to do. I'm using a small notebook to write down all my thoughts and ideas and so far it's proving very helpful.

My first thing is getting the money to go back to Chapman or my backup, Santa Monica College. Who knows how that'll turn out but I've been working on getting financial aid from both. Chapman starts classes on January 26th so hopefully I'll be leaving a few days before then and Santa Monica starts in mid-February but I'll be trying to leave as soon as possible to get out of the cold. I've decided to major in Computer Information Systems while taking some TV classes and doing a lot of TV research and experience on the side so I can get in the industry or some job related to TV after I graduate. I'd major in TV but the major at my school is focused on the creative side of things and as much as I love art, I'm just not an artist in the true sense of the word and don't want to waste my time struggling through scriptwriting classes (not to mention the application). I'm interested in getting some computer and business skills so this major totally works for me (low on essays helps too). So for the rest of my list:

1) Get all A's and B's in my classes. This is the most important thing and goes before everything else. I need to prioritize and not save things til the last minute which can be paralyzing if it's a big task. It's a huge boost to my confidence and self-esteem if I do this so I'm going to keep it at the top of my list. This blog is proving helpful with lots of good tips for any students out there.

2) Be at a healthy weight and stay healthy by playing a sport. I reeeeeeally can't wait to get back to California so I can play tennis outside along with many other sports. Running is alright but I don't like to exercise unless it's fun and sports are lots of fun for me.

3) Meet new people, find new friends and develop some good relationships. I really miss my friends at Chapman (and my cushy job) but I'd really like to branch out and meet more people like I wish I'd done more my freshman year. I especially want to meet some more TV lovers even if they don't go to my school.

4) Make every effort to have a romantic relationship. Cause I really, really want one and I have lots of romantic experiences I'd like to have. Doesn't hurt to try.

5) Finish at least three vids. I'd even limit it to two just as long as I finish my auction vid and a Vividcon one. I just need to get something done this year as my fannish output last year was quite pathetic.

6) Keep up with TV and finish at least The West Wing, The X-Files and The Sopranos.

7) Build, organize and listen to music collection including classic albums and top contemporary ones.

8) Read Wicked (finish), LotR, The Temeraire Series, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Watchman.

9) Read Plato, Aristotle, other classics and nonfiction about TV and business.

10) Volunteer for LGBT rights/Obama.

11) Watch vids, keep up on feedback, stay caught up in fandom.

12) Learn Spanish because it's necessary when living in Los Angeles.

That's the plan. Now it's just a matter of going out and doing it.

On another note, once again my computer is having problems (of the unmountable boot volume variety) and I am ready to throw my computer off my desk, Lex style. Or Barney style as the case may be. So I may not be around as much until that gets fixed.
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Life balancing, vidding, essays and my boys [Dec. 1st, 2008|02:31 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |rejuvenated]
[Current Music |new vidsong]

Gah you people really do post when I'm away. I love it but it takes forever to catch up on it when I just want to luxuriate in all of beautiful fandom. I missed it a lot and as always, I feel like I'm coming home. Don't know where I'd be without it. Lots of vidtalk which makes it take even longer but I'm hoping that's because people are on break and therefore have more time for vidding, right? Right? Let's hope so.

I was shocked and horribly saddened to hear of [livejournal.com profile] tv_elf's death :( She was so nice to me at Vividcon and it was good to talk about The Wire or see one of her vids. What a tragic loss to the world, fannish or not. A memory post is here.

I feel like I know what direction I want to go in now although I don't know specifically what I want to be yet. But I am learning to be okay with it (or maybe the universe will provide a path for me! as I like to say) with the uncertainty. I know there is a ton of things I want to do that take a lot of time and I am trying to find out the best way to balance them in the way that will make me the happiest both now and in the future. The one constant I know is that I NEED narrative. Whether it be the books of my past, the TV of my future or a fun movie now and then, I've got to have it. Can't imagine life without it. Now there's a ton of TV shows I need to catch up on and I don't want to devote too much time to only watching TV and neglecting other things but at the same time...I need context for vids! So who knows how many shows I'll get through in the coming year. That leads me to vidding in which I need to get my self in gear and FINISH these damn vids. My goal this year is to get rid of all my obligation vids, vids for cons and vids that I've had for over three years because they really need to get done no matter what new, shiny vid idea comes along. In fact, one JUST did for The Wire which I'd have to metaphor the hell out of but it would be fun. Still looking for my perfect Wire song and I'm hoping my new music collection will turn up a song not to mention my other orphan vid ideas. Vidding takes a lot of time though; I've given up on clip notes because I look at it too much as writing=work and then it never gets done so I'm going to just watch a lot of the show and clip it in Premiere. But that's the vidding plan for the Vividcon Year.

So then there's the other non-fannish stuff. I feel like I have a large gap in reading knowledge in truly understanding the world and how to make it better. So I'm going to need to read up on all the classic books, stuff on political systems and action and lots of stuff about TV for my future career. My love of learning is coming back stronger so I think it should be possible if I can find the time. I have to fit that in with college classes (and getting A's) and part time work (not to mention clubs and events and stuff) so who knows how much I'll be able to get done. Then the last big thing is getting involved in activist stuff whether it be gay rights or Obama related things. Kind of scary and not sure how much time its going to take and what I can do but I know I've got to do something because the time is now. So there's that. Those are the basic things I'm trying to figure out how to put off so I have enough time for them all and I know it may involve some sacrifice so I'm trying to figure out what I can give up in terms of time demands. We'll see.

Then I've been trying to figure out my aversion to writing especially essays. I think maybe I finally found a reason through vidding. So I've always loved that vids can be like visual essays and that they can say so much about the source. But that visual essay love never translated to loving/liking essays and I was trying to figure out the difference. And then [livejournal.com profile] dollsome posted this brilliant Stephen Fry quote which expresses it so much more eloquently than I ever could:

"Had I the patience and the discipline I should have chosen literature. But, while I can read Middlemarch and The Dunciad or, I don't know, Julian Barnes or Jay McInerney say, as happily as anyone, I have this little region missing in my brain, that extra lobe that literature students possess as a matter of course, the lobe that allows them the detachment and the nerve to talk about books (texts they will say) as others might talk about the composition of a treaty or the structure of a cell. I can remember at school how we would read together in class an ode by Keats, a Shakespeare sonnet or a chapter of Animal Farm. I would tingle inside and want to sob, just at the words, at nothing more than the simple progression of sounds. But when it came to writing that thing called an essay, I flubbed and floundered. I could never discover where to start. How do you find the distance and the cool to write in an academically approved style about something that makes you spin, wobble and weep?

... You could only write successfully about books and poems and plays if you didn't care, really care, about them. Hysterical schoolboy wank, for sure, an attitude compounded of nothing but egotism, vanity and cowardice. But how deeply felt. I went through all my school days convinced of this, that "literary studies" were no more than a series of autopsies performed by heartless technicians. Worse than autopsies: biopsies. Vivisection."


YES, this. I don't necessarily agree about the not caring part but for me, that's exactly it. But vids for me DO capture that emotion, that love and it's not so much as splitting up a source as celebrating it, reliving it and creating something anew from it's beauty. And even in writing posts on LJ or not, I feel my thoughts are like birds, free of any bounds and restraints and yes, disorganized but spirited and alive and full of energy. And putting them to paper/screen feels like it's taking all the soul out of them to make it sound regular and ordered and...just there. Maybe there's a way to overcome this or at least help the effect but that's why I love vids as opposed to essays.

In extremely happymaking news, I got my House and Arrested Development DVDs!! Just now :D Well only S4 for House but S3 is coming for my vidding pleasure. And I've waited so long for AD, stuff just kept coming up but now it is mine! It's so nice to be able to watch my show whenever I want to not to mention all the extras. Eeee Bluths! I've been enjoying a lot of the TV this season although not feeling particularly excited about a lot of it (The Office is always delightful and full of love though). However lest I long for an obsession, I have House which remains after three months, my favorite and I'm so in love with House/Wilson it's not even funny. It's not an all consuming love but one that just needs a spark for me to fill up with glee and to believe so deeply in their pure true love. I just cannot see only a friendship and I don't want to because they are so perfect together and I love them. And now I can vid them :D While looking for clips the other day, I found the video where Wilson actually says LOVE POETRY to House. God, they slay me, I had a full on squeeing session after that.

Back to catching up!
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Favorite Book Rec [Jan. 16th, 2008|01:47 pm]

anoel
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[Current Music |"Listen!!!" by Talib Kweli]
[Current Mood |impressed]

Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] laurashapiro! You are such a thoughtful, caring and creative person and I'm so glad you make such wonderful vids and help the vidding community from DIY to panels at VVC.

Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] ringwrench! It was so good to meet you at Vividcon last year and to see in person what a fun, nice and awesome person and I always greatly enjoy your vids.

I have to try to get everyone to read my FAVORITE book in all the world, Whale Talk by Chris Crutcher. There may be more literary masterpieces out there but this novel is the one that has changed my life the most and resonated strongest for me. I first found it in middle school, around 7th grade I think in the library. After I returned it, I went right out to the bookstore and bought it and it became one of the first books I ever bought because I knew I had to read it again and again whenever I wished. Throughout the years, in difficult times I've read it and it's made me feel so much better no matter how depressed or sad I was feeling.

Reading Whale Talk, I've never connected more strongly with all the characters and the themes in it. Emotionally it is a roller coaster of highs and lows, structured beautifully and full of insight. Some of the quotes in it are my all time favorites and help inform my perspective on the world and guide my choices. The main character, T.J is my personal hero and who is a role model in so many ways for me. And yet all the character's are heroes AND real people in their own ways. A lot of it is about belonging and being an outsider which I really identify with but it's also about good and evil, injustice including racism, sexism and classicism, redemption and life and death. It is sports book about swimming but like Friday Night Lights, it's not about that at all. It's written in first person narrative that is extremely entertaining as T.J speaks with a unique tone and perspective (he's also multiracial). It's a young adult book but it's very mature and speaks to adult themes throughout.

I really can't recommend this book highly enough and I encourage everyone out there to read it at some point. For an even better description of it and why you should check it out, [livejournal.com profile] oyceter has a great review of it here. For me, there are no real words to describe Whale Talk but once you do it speaks volumes inside you.
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Beach trip, coping mechanisms, Queer as Folk, Whose Line and why I vid versus fic [Jan. 16th, 2007|02:20 pm]

anoel
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[Current Mood |contemplative]

Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] laurashapiro and [livejournal.com profile] ringwrench! I hope you both have wonderful days full of joy, fannish goodies and cake :)

Last Tuesday I celebrated the last 80 degrees day here by going down to Long Beach for the first time. It was really nice, I loved the marina and the downtown area was great. Plus I went swimming even though the water was freezing since I've never gotten the chance to do so in the ocean in January. It was a very Veronica Mars moment. Even with the recent cold front which hasn't been that bad considering I can handle 60's and tolerate 50s. Still loving that I have tons of free time and can do whatever I want with it. Also a book rec, Rainbow Boys by Alex Sanchez. I randomly started reading it in a library in Buffalo after using the internet because it had three cute boys on the cover and I figured I might as well slash them. Turns out I didn't need to (which is easily seen by the title but I didn't notice that) and it was a very good book about three gay teens trying to deal with their lives. I had a lot of fun finding parallels to Queer as Folk as there are a bunch of them. There's Nelson, a combination of Emmett and Michael with the PFLAG mom and crush on his best friend, Kyle. Kyle's a much toned down version of Justin with the coming out issues who has a crush on Jason who is not Brian (sadly) but more like a good version of Chris Hobbes (although his family has some Brian issues). It's a fun read, I really enjoyed it.

New Coping Mechanisms:

Get fully invested in watching the entire Chargers game only to see them lose heartbreakingly so...watch Whose Line. (No more football for me)
Feel down or bored or angry (most recently at a Smallville promo that made me want to throw up...one word: Clana)...watch Whose Line.

Replacing Whose Line with The Office or Gilmore Girls works well to. Laughing really does help a lot. I am loving The Office with Michael just being hilarious with his horrible social skills and bad jokes. Best comedy I've seen since Arrested Development and I love the camera work. Supernatural and Grey's Anatomy are still awesome on Thursday nights, I don't really have much to say that hasn't been already said.

On a Queer as Folk note, my personal awards as I go through the episodes in future vid work:

My favorites under the cut )

More reasons Colin Mochrie is made of awesome: not only are three of his favorite TV shows Buffy, Angel and Firefly (can't get much better than that), his favorites are: The musical episode and "Hush" are my favorite Buffy's. The Angel episode where he turns into a Muppet is fun and all of the Firefly episodes. I would have loved to have been a funny vampire on Buffy. Yay for the musical and all of Firefly, of course :)

Whose Line ramblings under the cut )

Oh and I wrote some fic! Whose Line, Ryan/Colin. I've written some other fics at times but have never finished or published any online. It reminded me though why I stick with vids love is to see is the Colin and Ryan show, all improv between them ALL the time. It'd be pure heaven, loads of slash I'm sure and too funny. I really think they are the best at improv in terms of laughabiliand not fic. For one, I'm just not that interested in writing fic as I don't get a lot of ideas and don't find it really enjoyable. It's nice once in awhile though. My biggest problem, especially with fanfic, is that I find it really hard to write the characters. I always feel like the characters when I write them are one dimensional and almost always OOC. I feel I put too much of myself into fics and it doesn't come out as the unique characters. I also find it hard to express what I see in my head and that really, really frustrates me, being a perfectionist. I read so many other amazing fics and I would love to write like them but realistically, it's just not going to happen. And I know practice makes perfect and all that but I'm not all that interested in doing so. I hate taking an idea that I love so much and writing it and then feeling like it's crap and I did what I imagined an injustice. I'd much rather spend my time vidding, trying to be the best vidder I can be and making vids that I enjoy and am proud of and can parse reasonably well how good they are and ways to get better. I'm much more of an idea person anyways, I like making connections and drawing parallels and juxtapositions in the text instead of making up new things. Which I do enjoy but usually more in a imagination sense, another reason why I enjoy reading fic so much more than writing.

The thing is, I get into a show when I love the source. For all my fandoms, I love the characters and the relationships and the storylines and I want to show why I love it so much. That's why I love vidding so much, to visually show why I love it and usually the specific parts I really enjoy. A lot of times my favorite ideas and vids to watch are explorations of a character through a relationship since that's one of my favorite things about shows. My favorite fics are often the same thing and the more interesting takes on characters and meta on the show are usually where my interest lies. But a key difference in why I read fic is because I want to see something that was never shown on screen and often not possible to show. That's why I most read slash when I read fic, because I see a lot of het onscreen (and in RL) that I don't need to see as much of it unless a pairing really grabs me and leaves me wanting more.

This is why even though I LOVE Brian/Justin from Queer as Folk, I barely read any fic for them because I don't feel a need to. I got so much of what I wanted onscreen, so much romance and love portrayed in so many ways that I don't really need the fic. But because I got so much onscreen, it makes me want to vid it a LOT because there's so much to show especially in terms of the ever interesting Brian Kinney. Contrast that with Whose Line which, because of the nature of the show, gets almost no dramatic storylines at all which I love. So I'm shipping a slash pairing that I see so many of the classic romantic, sexual, friendship signs from, even getting kisses along the way, but yet I never see any classic plots. It leaves me always wanting more, of the ship and of the *real* story of them, the dramatics and angst and romance. Everything. And because it doesn't look like there'll ever be a happy ending (for what I want), my need will never be satisfied which always drives me wanting more fic of any kind. It's a much harder show to vid for that very same reason, so many of the things I wish I could vid happened offscreen so I must make do with what I have and through fic.

In conclusion, Dean yay, vidding! (I swear I'll have a new one out this week),
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Update On Me [Nov. 2nd, 2006|11:20 am]

anoel
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[Current Mood |excited]
[Current Music |"I Love LA" by Randy Newman]

So I've been really busy the past month and it's really interfering with my fannish life as well as a multitude of other things I want to do. The good thing is November shouldn't be as bad so I'll actually have time to do stuff. I'm working on catching up to LJ right now so if you get a comment from me from a post you posted awhile back, that's why.

The best news is that I'm going to [livejournal.com profile] bascon and I'm sooo excited! It gives me a great excuse to check out San Francisco for the first time and I've been dying to see the city. I can't wait to see and walk along the Golden Gate Bridge as well as check out all the other sights. I just remember seeing it on the Disneyland Soaring over California ride and thinking it was beautiful (have I mentioned how much I LOVED that ride?). But most of all I'm looking forward to seeing some people from Vividcon, meeting some new ones and discussing slash, TV and fandom. Should be lots of fun and I've been looking forward to it for awhile. On another I love California note, I'm ridiculously happy with all the great weather. It feels so nice to go outside and feel the sunshine shining down on my face. It's what I call my heat and sun therapy as it really helps to get rid of the bad memories of the cold. And I went through my first Santa Ana winds! Which is not fun to bike against, I can tell you that much. People say California gets no seasons (to which I say, thank god) but 80s+ for summer, 70s for fall and spring and 60s for winter works just right for me. And I'm planning on going skiing in the mountains for Thanksgiving so there's my winter. I love my state.

Read more )

I love my video iPOd with all my heart still. How did I survive without one so long? Playing vids and tv shows on it is just the coolest thing in the world. It helped me get through Life on Mars which I finally finished and loved. Awesome show, now I actually understand all the vids to it (which all rock btw and I will be leaving some feedback soon). Also I had the pleasure on Tuesday of having only one class and all my other obligations cancelled, so I got to curl up and read a book. Which happened to be His Majesty's Dragon of the Temeraire series as I went out and bought all three of the books. I am SO glad I did because I LOVED the book. I absolutely adore dragons and am now dying to have one. Particularly Temeraire who is the best dragon ever. And did you hear the books might be made into a movie by Peter Jackson?! So awesome. I'm planning on reading the next two on my way to Bascon and back. Speaking of reading, I also read Flowers for Algernon which I had read a short part of it about eight years ago and really liked it. But reading the whole thing destroyed me, the book gets to the heart of a lot of my emotional issues and broke me with all the emotion. Amazing book though, I definitely recommend it and the Temeraire series wholeheartedly.

I've been loving the TV season so far and sadly do not have time to write about all of it. But Supernatural, Friday Night Lights, Torchwood and Grey's Anatomy all have been great. I will hopefully be able to get caught up on BSG so I can watch that as well. Just finished the first episode of Heroes and liked it, it has some potential although I need to connect with the characters a bit more before I can really get into it.

Okay, I'm done. Off to [livejournal.com profile] bascon!
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