anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2019-01-01 06:21 pm
Entry tags:

End of the Year 2018 Meme

I do this meme every year and I'm not about to stop that now as it's cool to be able to go back to these and see how my year was.

Brief end of year update: I've found an excellent babysitting situation that I'm happy with (I really love working with kids most of the time) and I'm still doing freelancing work and working on my online business (slowly but will ramp up next year). My anti-depressants are still working energy/productivity wise and usually I'm happy but I'm still struggling with loneliness occasionally and am working on finding a solution to it (more later). I've started doing rock climbing and ninja warrior training at a local gym since September and I've made a LOT of progress. I've reconnected with a fandom friend and we're pretty close now even though she lives far away and have continued to enjoy visiting my cousin and kids and other family close by NYC. I'm taking a break from vidding (besides a TGIF/F vid) to focus on work stuff but still enjoy keeping up with fannish social media although my fannish interests mostly only align with femslash fandom (I'm over most guys) except for The Good Place.

Speaking of, I am going to be in LA from 2/14-2/24th including being at TGIF/F and hanging by the Escapade hotel during the con. Let me know if you want to make plans to hang out if you'll be in LA around that time!

ExpandEnd of the Year Meme 2018 )

If you are still wondering what you want to do with your life/working on getting a job you like, let me know as I am working on a business related to that topic and might be able to help in the coming year. It's always free for fannish friends :)
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2018-08-08 05:51 am
Entry tags:

Brief Pre-Vividcon Update

I’m soooo excited about going to Vividcon tomorrow!!! I’ll be at the hotel around 9am on Thursday and leaving around 3pm on Monday. I made 4 vids and I can’t wait to see the 150 (!!!) premiering vids and see so many people I love and talk about vids and CLUB VIVID! I wanted to post a brief update about what I’ve been up to lately as things have changed.

-I did some freelance research assistant work for the first half of the year (hmu if you’re a professor etc and want some help) and rediscovered my love of coding through learning R.
-I went to TGIF/F in LA and had fun talking about femslash and watchng/dancing to femslash vids and seeing amazing people.
-I struggled a lot with depression and loneliness and finally decided to try a med my friend was on and take a high dosage of it (in time) and after 4 weeks, I was the happiest I’ve been since I was 14 years old. So yeah, I figured out I’ve wasted 15 years of my life being low grade depressed which is why I haven’t had the energy to achieve my goals. On the bright side, I actually have high self-esteem and high confidence now and I fully believe I can make my dreams come true.
-I did some babysitting for a friend which made me realize I love working with kids and want to pursue it as a career. I love helping take care of kids and loving them as well as helping them learn and I love reading everything about the topic. Thankfully NYC needs a lot of help with all the working parents.
-I went to Wiscon for the first time and had an amazing time hanging out with friends and going to the vidshow. I got to meet chaila finally! The Black Panther and Get Out (the one horror movie I like) panels were amazing!
-I searched for a full time childcare job and found a great one in Scarsdale taking care of an 8 year old girl and 12 year old girl which I started at the end of the July. After 2 weeks, they let me go not because of anything I did but because they hadn’t realized they needed a lot less hours and mostly housekeeping/driving. I was super upset as I had been happy at the job for the first time ever and was depressed this last weekend. But I applied to some other places in the last few days, have some scheduled interviews (including 3 today) and am excited about some of the jobs even if they pay less.
-I have an online business idea I’m really excited about and I’m going to be working on it a lot in the next year so I can try to make some extra money that I can use for savings.
-Due to the help of my anti-depressants, I’ve lost some weight as I feel much less need to emotionally eat and they help tone down my hunger. I’m im the decade I want to stay in although I’m going to need to body recomp to gain muscle for American Ninja Warrior training. It’s been slow and steady but I’m seeing real progress.

So that’s where I am at the moment as well as enjoying spending more time with my brother, Dad, cousin snd her kids since they live close to NYC. I’ve had less time for fandom lately but still keep up with some shows (watch Killing Eve!!!) and vidding fandom. If you want to hang out at Vividcon, just let me know!

YAY VIVIDCON!
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2017-12-30 07:13 pm

End of the Year Meme 2017

Brief life update time: The depression has been on and off for the last two months but I'm feeling better currently although it was pretty bad a couple days ago. I'm doing some freelance work which has been going really well and helping with money. I'm still really lonely and wish I was in a romantic relationship.

ExpandEnd of the Year Meme 2017 )

If you're looking for a movie to watch, I highly recommend Call Me By Your Name! It's so beautiful and emotional <3
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2016-12-31 10:01 pm

End of the Year Meme 2016

This was a tough year for me personally as well as for the world but I come out of it even more grateful for all my friends and for fandom so thank you to everyone who was there for me in any small way and I wish everyone a happy new year and the best possible 2017!

ExpandEnd of the Year Meme 2016 )

I'm not going to do the End of the Year Fandom meme right now as I'm out of time and it's kind of complicated at the moment. I miss having a fandom OTP right now and am hoping I will find something in 2017.
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2015-12-31 07:34 pm

End of the Year Meme 2015

So before I go into the end of the year meme, I want to talk a little about the RL stuff that happened this year that led to some of my answers in this meme.

ExpandYear of 2015 general thoughts )

ExpandEnd of the Year Meme )
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2014-12-31 08:10 pm
Entry tags:

End of the Year Meme

Here is my end of the year meme for 2014:

ExpandEnd of the Year Meme )

General Goals for the year:

1. Do well at St. John's College. Read a lot, make new friends.
2. Volunteer at educational nonprofit(s).
3. Improve at Parkour, lose fat, gain muscle.
4. Continue learning Spanish and start learning German (I'm a few lessons in on Duolingo).
5. Make vids for Festivids, VVC, pleasure.
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2014-09-19 05:59 pm
Entry tags:

Eurotrip 2013 Report

I'm sorry I'm so late on finally reporting about my Europe trip last November as I started the first half of the report while in Europe but then procrastinated on writing it later until now when I couldn't put it off any longer. It's coming up on almost a year since my trip to Europe last November when I visited London, Ireland, Paris, Berlin, Rome, Brussels, Munich and other places in Europe. I wanted to write down as much as I can so in the future when I start forgetting more details, I could look back and remember from this report. I took a lot of pictures but am putting most of those on Facebook and it'll take too much time to upload them but if anyone who doesn't have me on there wants to see them, just ask. I don't expect most people to read all of this but feel free if you'd like :)

ExpandEurotrip 2013 Report )

Overall I had an amazing trip and I'm so happy I had the oppurtunity to go to Europe and experience it for myself. I've wanted to see Europe and experience another part of the world for a long time and the trip was super helpful in helping me stop feel the intense wanderlust I had been feeling for 7 years or so even as it made me want to explore other countries as well as go back to Europe in the future. It was a learning experience for me to deal with being in unfamiliar countries with languages I didn't know and to have to get from one place to another by myself for a month. There was definitely some lonely moments and it helped make me realize I like traveling with other people for trips longer than a week but it also gave me a chance to reconnect with friends who live in other countries. It was super great to finally see so many big landmarks that I had seen in the media for years and get a chance to see them in person as well as falling in love with the city of Rome. Being away from everything and having so much alone time also helped me question what I want to do with my life and who I am and helped make me even more purposeful in wanting to leave a big career impact in the world. It gave me a stronger love of Europe that made it even easier for me to get into the World Cup this summer while at the same time giving me an appreciation for things I love about living in America. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience that changed my life and I'm glad I was finally able to travel the world and have an ultimately satisfying trip. If anyone else is thinking about traveling, I highly recommend it!
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2014-09-01 04:17 pm

Beginning of the school year!...Kind of

Even though I'm not in school right now, the beginning of September always feels like a new beginning to me. It seems like a good time to share my plans for the rest of the year and the time to come as I finally have some ideas of what I want to do.

First a catchup of the last three months. In May, I went to a fun Ingrid Michaelson concert with [livejournal.com profile] beerbad and had a great time listening to some of my favorite songs. Mother's Day was pretty sad and I tried to avoid the media but eventually gave in and just scrolled through and watched some sad TV shows and cried some. One of the most fun things I did was go to Malibu State Park and go to this little pond (not sure what the right word is here) where they had cliff jumping rocks and I went to the highest one (about 30 feet) and jumped off of it. It was SO fun and I had been feeling kind of meh about the world and it gave me an adrenaline rush that made me feel happy and full of hope again. I just love feeling like I'm flying and being that high in the air, I really felt like I was in the air on the way down and it felt amazing. I also went to a fun Harry Potter roller skating event where there was a ton of people dressed up and they played Harry Potter songs and it was just really fun even though at the end the music was meh so I put on my headphones and listened to shippy songs for my favorite couples (mostly Kane/Toews). I went to a Memorial Day BBQ with other geeky/fannish type people and had fun playing Cards Against Humanity and talking various TV shows with people. I had a lot of fun going to see the Chicago Blackhawks play the Los Angeles Kings at the Staples Center in my first live hockey game and I was lucky enough to see it with [livejournal.com profile] celli and get to see Toews score a goal right in front of me. [livejournal.com profile] celli and I had a lot of fun talking hockey and various real life stuff after the game and it was fun getting a chance to get to know her better. I also went to see a screening of the Mindy Project season finale and got to see a cast Q&A and later got to meet Mindy Kaling for the fourth time - and she remembered who I was for the third time ever. It was pretty cool and she even took a selfie of her and me. I also went to my second cousin's bridal shower and got to catch up with that side of my family and got to see my grandma's sister as well which was nice and I'm looking forward to going to his wedding in November.

In June, I spent a lot of time finishing my Femslash Premiere and my Premieres vid for Vividcon which was a bit stressful but I was ultimately able to finish by the deadline. I was also following the NBA draft and super happy when my favorite player, Tyler Ennis was selected 18th in the draft and another Syracuse player, Jerami Grant went to the Philadelphia 76ers which has a Syracuse player, Michael Carter-Williams who just won Rookie of the Year and who I slash with his friend on the team, Nerlens Noel so I'm looking forward to OT3ing them together. I also started watching the World Cup, following it seriously for the first time ever and fell in love with the USA team, most of all the coach, Jurgen Klinsmann. Jurgen who was a big star in Europe who won the World Cup with Germany in 1990, coached the German team to a 3rd place finish in 2006 (in Germany) but who loves the USA and lives there with his family so he decided to coach the USA team in 2011 and is attempting to turn the team around so it can eventually win the World Cup with the men's team. I really love what he's trying to do and his personality and I have a lot of hope that he can help us win it all so I began to follow the US team and was in ecstasy after we beat Ghana and went to a USA bar for the Portugal game with [livejournal.com profile] cenedrawood and was SO HAPPY when USA came back from a 0-1 deficit to be winning 2-1...only to lose in the last thirty seconds in one of the most heartbreaking sports moments ever for me. Thankfully we still had another game against Germany where Jurgen was coaching against his friend, Joachim Löm (who was his assistant coach when he coached Germany) and since I ship them together (thanks to [livejournal.com profile] caesaria), it was an entertaining game for me if terrifying. We lost by one but were still able to make it out of the group stages where we played Belgium which I don't even want to talk about because I'm still super bitter and prefer to think about how Tim Howard made 15 saves and Julian Green scored a goal on his first touch even though he's only 19 years old and was another young player that people complained about being on the roster and yet was one of the many players to prove that Jurgen knew what he was doing cause he's an amazing coach <3 Anyways, I started out rooting for Brazil (because they were at home, it meant a lot to them and they spent so much money at least they could get SOMETHING out of it), Germany, England, Italy and I also added the Netherlands after I saw their first game against Spain and enjoyed watching Robben and van Persie play. Eventually Germany and Netherlands were my favorite teams as after watching a documentary about the 2006 German team and falling in love with Robben as a player I wish I could be like, I emotionally connected with them, plus it helped that both teams did super well.

In July, I was really into basketball as the NBA summer league started and all the new rookies, 2nd year players and undrafted players trying to get a spot on rosters were playing and I watched the 76ers team do well in Orlando with my guy, Jerami Grant. The major summer league was in Las Vegas though and I decided to go to Vegas, buy tickets for the games (they're cheap) and let out my basketball feelings while trying to meet some of my favorite Syracuse players since many of them were going to be there. I had an amazing time, getting autographs and talking to Tyler Ennis, Rakeem Christmas (current SU player), Jerami Grant, Michael Carter-Williams, Baye Moussa Keita and Brandon Triche (former SU players) as well as watching a ton of players play for their teams. Unfortunately my car had some issues so I stayed longer than I wanted to but I also had fun hanging out with n0apologies (twitter) who I had met at Wincon and we had a great time talking about our lives, Adam Lambert, Queer as Folk and other fannish topics. I was also there duing the World Cup final and went to a bar to watch Germany play Argentina where thankfully Germany won and I was SO HAPPY as Jogi Low and the team had come soooo close to winning in the last 8 years and always came up a little short so I was super happy for the team to finally win it all and I just had such a fun time celebrating, happy crying and joining in the celebrations at the German bar.

Finally I got back to LA and had fun going to [livejournal.com profile] elipie's karaoke birthday party and then going to a Lady GaGa concert with her where we won free seat upgrades and got to hang in the VIP lounge with free drinks and hang out with hot half-naked boys while we could easily see Lady GaGa especially when she came over to the platform right above us. It was super fun getting to hear her sing some of her classic songs and she's an amazing performer so we had a fun time singing her songs and enjoying the performance. At the end of July, I went back home to Syracuse where I spent some time with my dad, caught up with my best friend and hung out with my cats at home. I also drove down to Pennsylvania to visit my cousin's family and spend some time with my aunt. My cousin is starting her own business so I spent a little bit of time at her shop and we also went with her family and my aunt to one of my favorite amusement parks where we used to go almost every year as a kid so it was very nostalgic to be back there again. Speaking of nostalgia, I also went to visit my childhood elementary school and was bummed to see they tore down the playground I had loved although they are building a new one, it's not the same. After that, I went to Vividcon which I'll talk about in a different post but the Wednesday after that, I had an amazing time going to Six Flags Magic Mountain with [livejournal.com profile] elipie getting a chance to talk about Vividcon, new vidding ideas and other fannish stuff.

This summer I had planned on taking some courses related to college admission counseling but after a couple of days trying to take them, I realized my heart wasn't in them as I wasn't sure yet whether that's what I wanted to do as it might not be big enough for me career-wise. Thankfully I was able to get a full refund and another thing that affected my decision was a revelation I had thought of while reading books about colleges. I kept having regrets while reading on how I wish I had gotten a true college experience and had gone to a more intellectual school when I realized - I could still do that. There was a college I had first heard about in high school called St. John's College that covered in four years, many of the so called Great Books but without lectures, it's all discussion based or laboratory based as they cover science using classic experiments and original texts for everything. Two of the most interesting aspects is learning Ancient Greek and learning math from classic books like Euclid's Elements which I've always wanted to do to understand more of where the English language comes from and understand the basis of math which I've always though could be interesting in the right context. The college is pretty intense but that's exactly what I want, a place where people want to read and think about some of life's biggest questions by reading some of the most enduring books many of which I've always wanted to read and just needed some more structure and people to discuss them with. I feel like my intellectual development has been pretty stunted the last seven years and I know I need to take a big leap to become the person I've always wanted to be and this college is the perfect way to take my communication skills both written and oral to the next level. I am an ambitious person and I have big dreams of doing things to change the world but I need to build a strong foundation so that I can accomplish that so I think I need to take a risk to go to this college and become the person I want to be.

During the summer I started working on my application which consists of three essays talking about why I want to go to the college, a book that has influenced me and a significant experience that has left an impact on me and I'm working on finishing that up by the end of this month. The college has a January program that I'm looking to get accepted at where by going to school over the summer, I'll be all caught up with the freshman year program and will be a regular sophomore by the time next September comes around (but thankfully I will get a summer vacation right before the first potential Vividcon weekend). The college gives good financial aid so I'm not too worried about the money aspect, the bigger opportunity cost for me is the time but I think the education I'm getting will be worth it and I'll be doing part time jobs, volunteer work and internships during the school years and summer to help me figure out the best work for me to do after college and I always have a backup job as a programmer as well. One of the biggest negatives is the college is in Santa Fe and although the weather is not too much colder than LA (averaging 45-85 plus like 6 snow days blech), it'll still be a big adjustment leaving the city (and friends!) I love to be in a much smaller city with less things to do (although Albuquerque is only 45 minutes away and Denver/Phoenix are semi-close too). But I think it's worth it for this oppurtunity that I can't get anywhere else and I feel like I'll always regret it and wonder what if, if I decided not to do go. Plus I'll definitely be visiting LA during breaks, Escapade and during my free summers so I think I'll be able to survive. Another concern is the book list is not that diverse but I know there are book groups there that cover more classic books written by women, minorities and Eastern writers so I'll be sure to be reading them. Something I'm excited about is they have a lot of sports intramurals so I'll still be able to play soccer, tennis and there's lots of nature for hiking and even rock climbing. Most importantly, I'll finally get to have a true college experience and make lots of new friends as even though the college is small, people are very self-selected towards the kind of people I tend to get along with (minus your obligatory pretentious arrogant idiots) so I'm looking forward to that. It'll be a big life change for me but I think this is the best step I can make in working on becoming who I want to be and for my development to being able to help the world solve the major problems we're facing.

I originally was applying for this fall semester but I was having a hard time being ready for that so I decided to wait til January although I have a plan for what I will be doing in LA until then. A friend recommended to me a friend of hers who has a philosophy PHD and is willing to meet with me to go over classic texts that I want to start reading this fall so I can have some accountability and someone to discuss things with to prepare me for St. John's College. I'm planning on working on doing more reading (besides fanfic of course) this fall as I sample many books from nonfiction to fiction in many genres. I'm going to be focusing especially about reading books about California and LA as I want to work on solving problems in the state and want to become more knowledgeable about the issues surrounding the state. I also am going to be doing some volunteering with various organizations to learn more about LA and start figuring out what exactly I would enjoy doing for jobs. I also have a part time job I'll be working on to earn some extra money. Another big goal of mine for this fall is to start seriously trying to date while I still have time in LA which should hopefully give me more motivation to do it. I'm also continuing to work on improving my Spanish through Duolingo and translating Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone from Spanish to English using my Kindle App Spanish to English dictionary. And I definitely want to spend more time with my friends in Los Angeles while I'm still here.

Another big focus for me this fall is heath and fitness as I'd like to lose about 15-20 pounds before the end of this year. I signed up for an accountability type service which has been good with keeping me on track with my eating and exercise goals. Something inspiring for me was watching Kacey Cantanzaro complete the city finals course for American Ninja Warrior, an obstacle course competition where participants can win 500k for winning the finals course in Las Vegas. That inspired me to look into parkour and rock climbing which are two training aspects that some of the best competitors do. I figured that even if I don't make it, it'd be a fun goal to try to train for the course as it looks really fun and it's something that anyone can accomplish even if they don't have a lot of training when they were younger (unlike most sports). Thankfully there is a parkour (more accurately, freerunning) gym in the LA area and I've already taken two beginner lessons there and had fun practicing in the opening gym sessions. So far it's pretty basic, working on vaulting over objects and precision jumping, jumping from one ledge to another but it's been really fun and a great workout and I look forward to being able to do the crazy workouts I see in the gym. I was super scared about doing a flip from the high ledge into the pit (filled with soft foam stuff) but finally managed to gather my courage and did as well as do some flips on the trampoline. I also attempted to run up the warped wall they have in the gym and tried to jump from one bar to another (not there yet). I've also been into soccer as I really enjoy team sports so I signed up for a three days a week soccer class at my local community college and although it's a bit intimidating as it's all guys except one other girl and many of them want to compete on the soccer team at the college, so far I've been having fun playing (minus getting blisters on my feet from my new cleats). I even scored a goal during a game! We've been mostly just playing games which was a bit disappointing as I hoped to practice some skills work as well but it's been fun and I've been learning a lot even if it's been pretty hot playing during the summer. I've also been keeping up with my strength training workouts since March and been continually adding more weight to my lifts. Food is always tough for me as I hate cooking and love delicious food but I've been making a lot of progress and have lost three pounds so far.

I can't wait for the new TV season! I've been watching some of the trailers for the new shows and have added a few shows that I'm going to check out this fall. While A to Z has a couple of annoying things about it, it also features the Mother from HIMYM and as soul destroying it is seeing her, the show looks really cute and right up my romantic loving alley with the whole matchmaking element. I'm also excited for How to Get Away With Murder as Viola Davis looks amazing in it, the premise sounds fun and deliciously messed up and I will always trust Shonda Rhimes to do crazy things. I'm also going to check out Utopia which fascinates me as I've always loved thinking about how to create the perfect society although the reality show format makes me keep my expectations down. I am also looking forward to checking out Survivor's Remorse which is about a BASKETBALL PLAYER (!!!) who becomes successful and must deal with everything that comes with it which sounds super fun for me to vicariously see that side of things and is produced by Lebron James (who I've come to not hate since he went back to Cleveland) so I'm very curious to check it out. I kind of wish I could watch The Flash because the lead actor is a guy I found SUPER hot on Glee (Sebastian!) but I've sworn off all superhero shows unless it features a female/PoC lead so I'll just be checking out Agent Carter. Mostly I'm going to be listening to friends and critics to see if there are any high quality shows I should check out. I'm really looking forward to The Mindy Project, Faking It and Scandal coming back especially the first two as they feature two of my favorite ships. I'm mostly planning on using the fall to continue to catch up with some well written shows I haven't watched yet including Deadwood which I MUST finish by the end of the year. On the movie side of things, this summer I LOVED Maleficent (Maleficent/Aurora all the way!), enjoyed X-Men: Days of Future Past and am looking forward to seeing The Hunger Games 3, The Hobbit 3 and Annie (love the trailer!). On the sports side of things, my new soccer team is Bayern Munich since they have my favorite player, Arjen Robben, lots of German players from the national team like Müller, Neuer and Götze and my fave USA guy, Julian Green (although he's on loan to Hamburg this year) so I already have an emotional investment in them and will be watching all their games. I'm casually following the English Premier League (mostly for my USA/Germany people) and some college football as well and will be checking out my usual NFL teams this fall (although I'm still super bitter there's no LA team) such as the Bills, 49ers, Giants, Chargers and Jets. We'll see timewise what happens as once NBA seasons starts in late October and Syracuse basketball in November, most of my attention will go to that because YAY BASKETBALL. Hockey will be back in October as well and I will check out some Chicago games sometimes.

Super excited for Festivids! I have about 6 possible nominations at the moment although I worry about qualification for a couple of them but I'm excited about them and the vid ideas I want to make already. Before I get my assignment though, I need to start working on my Escapade vid as that's going to require a time committment and I have another vid idea I want to make for next year that I need to get started on clipping right now to get it done in time for VVC. I have another vid that's almost done that I should hopefully post in the next week as well. I have a couple ideas that require me to stretch my skills that I'm really excited about even if it'll be a challenge, it should be fun to do. Other fun fandom-y things coming up is a bunch of NorCal (and elsewhere) fangirls are planning a Fandom Beach Vacation where we rent a beach house and just hang out all day and I'm so excited to hang out with my fandom friends in November :) I also need to plan out what to do for my birthday in October this year, I have an idea and need to check if it's realistic. I still can't believe I'm going to be 27...is that officially late 20s? Eek. But hopefully with all the plans I have in place, I'll be ready to enjoy this time in my life shortly!
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2013-12-31 01:01 pm

2013 End of the Year Meme

Here is my annual end of the year meme:

ExpandEnd of the Year Meme )
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2013-10-11 01:24 pm

(no subject)

So today is my 26th birthday! It is interesting doing it this year at Wincon surrounded by fangirls, so much fun to talk fandom with everyone. This morning we went down to the breakfast buffet which is amazing and had lots of delicious food and got to talk with our group of eight fangirls. I also got to get a big hug from [personal profile] cee_m who I haven't seen since a Vividcon awhile ago and it was great to see her again. I then went inside for the first panel but got distracted by getting stickers for my badge. I got a Harry sticker, a LIONESS sticker, a robot, a 1D group, some birthday stickers and a lion sticker so now my badge is a good representation of me :) I caught the end of the Fandom Grieving panel and then got to talk a bit to someone about The Walking Dead finale and how it got me to rage quit watching the show. I also got to meet with [personal profile] colls who I didn't know was coming and it was great to reconnect with her since she missed the last Vividcon. We both went to the Fairy Tales panel and got to talk a bit before the panel about OUAT and a few other shows. I was surprised the panel didn't bring up Swan Queen and I didn't put up my hand quick enough before we moved onto the next fandom.

Now I'm hanging out in my room with other fans and we had fun talking about tags in fandom and a few other things including the Benedict AMA. I'm looking forward to a bunch of panels today like the Kinks, Poly and Incest (I WILL be talking Jaime/Cersei and GoT, of course) panels. Then we have a vidshow with my premiering vid and then we're going to the Gordon Ramsey restaurant and I'm going to get some cake for my birthday. I'm super excited for Once More With Feeling and Rocky Horror Show tonight as I've never seen them with a group.

It's weird to be 26 and now closer to 30 than 25. It's been a weird year with high highs and low lows. I've learned and grown a lot and am so thankful to have such amazing family and friends. Thank you to everyone reading for being there for me and helping to support me. I'm looking forward to the ne t year of my life as I'm going to follow my dreams and try to do more of the things that make me happy. Here's to having an awesome year being 26!
anoel: anoel lioness (glee quote = love)
2013-10-10 10:09 pm
Entry tags:

Glee 503..."I always thought I'd see you again"

Some thoughts on Glee along with thoughts about my mom:

ExpandSpoilers for Glee 503 )

In other news, Vegas has been awesome so far! I've had a lot of fun hanging out with Bay Area fans and talking about fandom and life. We went to a Penn and Teller show on Wednesday and today I went to the Strasophere and rode the ride at the top and then rode the New York, New York roller coaster. Tomorrow is my birthday and the first day of the con so I can't wait!
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2013-10-09 01:45 pm
Entry tags:

Off to Vegas!

So I'm heading off to Vegas for Wincon! I'm super excited, it's going to be so much fun. On the way, I'm going to stop in Primm to ride the Desperado which is this awesome roller coaster with a huge drop so I'm super excited about that. I also can't wait to ride some thrill rides in Vegas, should be fun!

Some big news before I go: I quit my job so I now finally have some free time to work on my own coding and vidding projects. Instead of a one week trip, I'm going to be going to Europe throughout November so if you're in the area, let me know if you want to hang out! Will probably just spend extra time in London and Paris but may add an extra city or two. I reeeeally can't wait! In December, I'm going back to my parent's house and I'm going to spend some time with my dad, aunt and cousin and her family. It'll be really great to have some more time with them and I also want to help out with going through my mom's stuff and organizing some of my own. Then in January I'll come back to LA and go back to college. I'm really excited to finally finish my degree, it's like my Mount Everest and I really need to finish climbing it for myself.

I can't believe I'm turning 26 in two days. It's been a weird year but hopefully should get better from here!
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2013-10-01 11:46 am

Yay October! And September update

Happy October everyone! As I posted on Twitter, I'm really excited about this month because it's my birthday month and I have some super fun stuff planned in store. This coming weekend, I'm going to see Gravity with a friend of mine after we do some hiking and on Sunday I'm going to see Maroon 5 (and Kelly Clarkson) in concert!! Soooo excited as I've fallen in love with Adam Levine after watching him being a hilarious, competitive, adorable dork on The Voice who can't stop flirting and being in love with Blake Shelton. HAVE I MENTIONED THEY ARE SUCH BOYFRIENDS??? Who say things like, "I would never cheat on you Blake?" THAT IS A THING THAT HAPPENED.

Ahem. I'm getting ahead of myself. The weekend after that or rather, pre-weekend on October 9th in the evening I'm driving to Las Vegas to go to Wincon! I'm going to be rooming with some awesome SF people and I'm looking forward to seeing [personal profile] nikibee again along with [personal profile] cee_m and many others! October 11 (friday) is my birthday and there will be fannish panels, hanging out with fannish people, a VIDSHOW (of which I have two vids, one premiering), Once More with Feeling and Rocky Horror Show screenings and hopefully a drunken birthday party full of fangirls. I'm sooooo excited! Plus I'm totally going to ride that roller coaster I saw last time. I am going to be going back early Sunday morning but that's because I have tickets to see the Blind Auditions (ie Adam/Blake FLIRTING NONSTOP) of The Voice with [personal profile] elipie! I can't wait!! Other fun things I'm planning on doing is getting a tattoo on my right ankle. It's my first tattoo as I've wanted one for a long time but could never justify the expense. It's going to be Nala from The Lion King like in my main icon. I figure I've been a fangirl of it for 21 years, I think it's a forever thing plus I've always felt my spirit animal, what I've been in another life, etc is a lioness so it's really important to me. The biggest thing for me is I'm going to go skydiving! It's always been in the top 3 things I want to do in my life since I love flying and want to feel like I am if only briefly. Will probably save it towards the end of the month.

A month ago I had an amazing time Labor Day Weekend getting to hang out with [personal profile] nikibee in the Bay Area. We watched Game of Thrones, Teen Wolf and Parks and Recreation and had a vidparty where we watched Vividcon vids with [personal profile] franzeska (who I had a great talk with!), Alice, Michelle, Dani and I think that's all? It was so much fun! We (Nicole, Alice and Michelle) also went to Oakland Pride and got to see En Vogue in concert and it was so great to get a chance to have some good talks with [personal profile] nikibee all weekend. I also went back to San Francisco near where I used to live and work and got to have lunch with someone from Dev Bootcamp which I also visited and got to talk to the founder who changed my life with letting me go to it. Unfortunately I left my favorite hoodie there and haven't been able to get it back :( I also visited the Berkeley campus which is SO BEAUTIFUL! Probably the prettiest one I've ever seen, it's like half nature reserve. Finally I went to a Haven party [personal profile] franzeska (who else? ;)) was throwing and got to say goodbye for a couple hours before I had to leave to catch my flight. Gotta say Southwest was awesome, they gave me a better seat when I complained I didn't know I had to check in for the return flight. It was a super fun weekend and I'm so glad I went!

Other than that, I've been working a lot. We had a big deadline a few weeks ago before our company presented a website at a conference. Some of the weeks I worked on interesting things and that was fun especially getting to pair with my mentor here but a couple weeks I didn't like what I was working on and kept getting distracted by the internetz at work which was less fun. We did go bowling last week as the conference went awesome and that was really fun! I've also been running more and I paid for a personal trainer so I can actually get a REAL strength training workout and that has helped a LOT with developing some muscles. I've always wanted to do chinups so that's my long term goal. I've been thinking about running a marathon next year as I need a big running goal to get me inspired to run more and I want to beat my last time (5.5 hours) and hopefully have a rain free experience. I've been eating a lot cleaner lately and did lose a little weight but got a little bored with it and regressed last week. No worries though, I varied my diet up and am doing better now. If there's anything I learned in the past it's not to give up and let little backslides trip you up.

The big news is I've decided to quit my job soon and go back to college to finally finish my degree. It's something I've always wanted to do and I've had enough of a taste of the real world working on something I kind of like but not love (even with the nice money benefits!) to want to go back to school and work on finding what I really want to do with my life. I'm going to continue study programming on my own and help code for the AO3 along with working on personal projects I'm hoping will lead to possible job opportunities or at least direction. I'm going to go back to community college for Spring 2014 and I'll be applying in the next two months to UCLA, CSULA and CSULB as a Philosophy major. Yes, Philosophy because I've loved the courses I've taken in it, I've always wanted to learn it and it requires a very low amount of credits so I can graduate fast as I'm aiming for May/June 2015. I'm also planning on volunteering at College Track during the time and maybe seeing if after I graduate I can get a job there or at a similar organization. Or maybe I'll do another programming job to save money/pay off debts, I don't know, we'll see.

Let's see...a couple weeks ago, [personal profile] elipie came over to watch vids, vid and talk with [personal profile] jetpack_monkey and I and it was a lot of fun! I've been trying to go to more meetups lately to meet new people and feel less lonely and so I went to a happy hour and met some cool people DTLA and also went to a hiking group last Saturday where I had some good talks with a couple people. The weekend before that I went hiking with my friend, Jen who has turned out to be one of my closest friends in LA even though she's a bit older than me. She used to be in a rock band but now is learning to program so we hang out a good amount to do that. But we hiked in Griffith Park and had a really long talk about life, fun things in our history and the future which was really great.

I've been missing my mom a lot lately. I didn't fully appreciate that when I felt lonely and couldn't reach any of my friends to talk, I could always call my mom and know she'd be there for me. It's just tough sometimes and earlier in the month I was feeling really lonely. I think of her every day whether in small moments or longer memories and it just hurts a lot. I just really wish she was back again :( Last Sunday was the three month anniversary of her death and it feels so far away and yet so close like I can vividly remember getting the call that she had died. I called my dad the other day and it was good to talk to him and hear he's doing well especially after my brother freaked me out saying he couldn't get a hold of him. I'm still terrified he's going to die, I just heard that statistically spouses are more likely to die after one of them dies so even with my dad's health issues, it's even scarier. I'm really looking forward to going back to see him for the holidays and my cousin and aunt as well, both who've been there for me a lot. I went to a meetup last Saturday with a group that's about women who've lost their mothers and it was really helpful talking to other people like me there. Someone said that the worst part is even if you have other people who help fill the hole your mother left, it's not the same as having MY mother there, she's mine and no one is mine in that way. And that's totally how I feel. It was helpful though and we got to smash plates and mugs to help let out the anger :)

On a happier note, I'm so happy fall TV season in back! I'm watching sooo many shows right now, omg. Monday I have How I Met Your Mother (ahhh THE MOTHER, brb happy crying), The Voice (Adam/Blake are SUCH BOYFRIENDS who flirt constantly, yay Christina and CeeLo being back and I love so many of the contestants already), The Blacklist (reminds me of Alias with Sydney and Jack (and Irina)) and I'm watching Mom purely out of love for Allison Janney who is a goddess. Tuesday I'm giving Agents of Shield a couple more episodes before I give up as I didn't like the characters (minus Coulson) and the plot, Brooklyn 9-9 (I really like it! it's funny and GREAT characters), New Girl (close to letting this one go again), The Minday Project (still sadly only love Mindy) and The Voice again (Blake is not doing an all country team again yay!!). Wednesday is Modern Family (yay gay marriage!) and I'm going to give Super Fun Night a try. Thursday is The Big Bang Theory (still sometimes funny, I love Sheldon but my god the gender issues), OUAT in Wonderland (going to give it a try), Glee (KURT/BLAINE DYING FROM LOVE AND SQUEEEE) and Parks and Recreation (still perfect and still LESLIE IS THE BEST). Sunday is Downton Abbey (I need to catch up actually), Once Upon a Time (MORE SWAN QUEEN, less boys pleeease) and Homeland (didn't really like 301 although I LOVE Carrie still). Lucky 7 is getting cancelled soon but I enjoyed the premise and focus on working class families so I'll continue watching. I didn't like Sleepy Hollow at all so I cut that. Any other good shiows I should watch? I'm currently catching up on Scandal (OLIVIA IS SO AWESOME and I love the addicting plots), Spartacus (deserves its own post but AWESOME!!!) and Twin Peaks (so pretty and I enjoy the plot).

On a happy/sad note, Breaking Bad is over :( But it went out on top! I was lucky enough to get tickets to the Hollywood Cemetery to see the Breaking Bad series finale live with the cast and creators of the show. I went early to get good seats and spent the day reading books (including Clash of Kings! still working on my reread) with blankets and my pillow until [personal profile] elipie showed up and we got to go in. We got good seats near the center but further back because there was a big VIP section for all the industry people who showed up. I went to checkout the RV where Walt and Jesse cooked their first meth and people were getting pictures with it and then AARON PAUL showed up and I quickly got in line but then he left but right near me so I was like 6 ft away from me. I got a picture in the RV though and it was so cool! We saw the Pilot of Breaking Bad (introduced by Aaron Paul being amazing) and then saw the Finale which was AWESOME!!! I'm so happy and fully satisfied with it. Sooo much better than The Sopranos and many other shows that can't stick the ending. I'm looking forward to doing a rewatch of the whole show and hopefully making some vids to it because it still needs ALL THE VIDS!! I read Sepinwall's review like my usual tradition (he helped me get into the show) but not reading any more because I'm sick of the negative stuff. I really loved seeing the cast Q&A after the finale, it was great to see it in person.

I've been working on a Game of Thrones vid that I'm really excited about so I'm looking forward to posting that sometime this month. I need to clear these vids off my plate because Festivids is starting!! I nominated some things and I have some requests but mainly I'm excited about making vids for people because I'll have more time than last year without the OUAT exchange. I already have 7 vids I want to make and I'm really excited to get my assignment and start. Last year was amazing and I'm hoping to have a wonderful experience this year as well.


Oh and I'm going to Europe next month! I can barely think about it, it makes me too excited and happy. Some background: I've been dying to go to Europe since like 2005? Since college started definitely especially London and Paris. It's something I want to do before I die and I've had to cancel every plan I've had to do it because of money but now that's no longer an issue! So Thanksgiving week I'm going to go to London, Paris, Munich (to visit [profile] infiniterain!!!) and Belgium (to visit [personal profile] indybaggins!) and I'm sooo excited to see some of the touristy stuff I've never seen in person. If you're in the area, let me know as I'd love to hang out! It's going to be an epic adventure I'm sure.

Wow that was long. This is what happens when I don't post for a month. I love that people are posting more to DW/LJ and am going to try to do the same, weekly is a good goal for me. I'm gonna see Laura Veirs with [personal profile] beerbad tonight which I'm excited about! A great start to my October :)
anoel: anoel lioness (anoel lioness)
2013-06-29 11:46 am
Entry tags:

Bad news.

So my mom died.

Yeah, I don't even know how to process that. My brother called me this morning to tell me. Apparently she hadn't been feeling well the last couple weeks and then this morning she collapsed on the kitchen floor. My brother and dad helped her to bed and said she thought she knew what was wrong (she's a nurse) and she needed some fruit. My brother went to get some and when he got back she wasn't breathing. He called 911 but it was too late and she died. They're not sure what was wrong, we'll find out the autopsy results tomorrow.

I'm still kind of in shock. I always thought my mom would live til at least 80, maybe even 100. She's really healthy for the most part and hasn't had any serious medical conditions. My dad was always the one I was worried about as he's pretty old, used to smoke and doesn't eat very healthy so I figured if I lost a parent, it was him I was going to lose. But my mom? She's in her 50s and there was no warning at all that something like this would happen. She's like the rock of the family, she deals with all the paperwork and keeps in touch with everyone especially since my dad doesn't have any relatives (that he knows of). Now I'm really scared he's going to die soon and I won't have any parents left :(

So I don't even know what happens now. My brother is dealing with a lot of the stuff in person back in NY right now and I'm going to fly home Wednesday night. I thankfully have Thursday and Friday off for July 4th so at least I'm not losing any work off of it and will hopefully get to attend the funeral and see my family and everything. It'll be good to hug everyone and see my cats again. I found out this morning at 9 and I've been crying a lot and trying to deal with all my emotions with all of this. It's so freaking unfair, I can't even. I just want my mom back :( Even if we never were super close, I could always talk to her about things and she helped me so much over the years. I miss her already. I wish I could have seen her before she died, it sucks that I haven't gotten to see her in person since she dropped me off at the airport last Christmas and I got to hug her one last time. We had a really good talk two weeks ago where I told her about my plans for the future and she got to hear about my new job more (going really well!) and just talk to her about life and say I love you and all that. So at least there's that.

If there's anything I can take from this is that really, ANYONE can die at any time. Don't put things off, tell people you love them and spend quality time with people you care about. It's made me want to stop putting off the things I want in most in life and work hard to create a good legacy with my short time on this earth. So please, don't take life for granted. It's precious.
anoel: vidding fandom (vidding fandom)
2013-03-25 01:27 pm

Vid up for auction!

So I'm offering myself up for the Vividcon Auction this year, for the first time ever. Because I'm crazy, I'm offering up a LOT of fandoms including a ton of TV. The full list is under the cut:

ExpandFull list of fandoms and what exactly I'm offering )

You can bid on me here. The auction closes on 3/30/13 at 11:59PM Eastern Time but don't wait to the very last second as the server may not be able to handle it. I am looking forward to vidding something from this list! If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask me. I basically just want to vid a fandom I like so I'm open to a lot. There's 5 other amazing vidders on that list too so if I'm not offering something you want, check out the others as they might offer it!

Besides that, just kind of tired of life beating me down right now. I wish I could fast forward to the time when I have a job I like and hopefully am in a relationship. I love Lost Girl a LOT but sometimes it's just hard watching Bo/Lauren when I want that so much.
anoel: (got arya pointy)
2013-03-08 01:27 pm

A real update, finally

So I finally have time and the inclination to post here about some of the things I've been up to. The time thing is mostly because I'm not working at my job anymore. It wasn't working out on either end and I'm really looking forward to finding an in person, salaried job at a good company that can actually pay me decently. I was really overwhelmed at first in terms of looking for a job and sometimes still am but I'm feeling better about it now. It seems that the last year of networking I've been doing in the LA tech scene is starting to pay off as I now have a lot of people I can reach out for help and who have offered to help. There's a job I reeeeally want and I'm kind of terrified of being rejected from it but I'm getting better at feeling like if it doesn't happen, it'll all work out along a different great path. And happy coincidences like a job fair this weekend is extra awesome. I am ever so grateful to be in a field where there's high demand for my skills, it makes it a lot less stressful than it would for me.

Last weekend was a lot of fun! I went to Once Upon a Time Paley Fest with [personal profile] elipie and [personal profile] rhoboat and it turned my feelings of the show to mostly anger to full of FEELS! I still have major issues with what the show is doing (not enough gay, stupid blood > adoption family stuff, Regina's misery as a plot devise) but at a certain point I can let go of expectations and just enjoy the things I love mostly REGINA omg how does Lana Parilla exist? She's hot onscreen but in person she is an absolute goddess not to mention hilarious, adorable and kind. Of course we sat behind some of the most dedicated fans of Lana and Regina so it was good for me to have other people to cheer with and Lana kept LOOKING at us and giving smiles of encouragement and the Evil Regal sign and I seriously felt like I was going to melt with squee. At the end, I managed to crawl over the seats to get close enough to Lana to get her autograph and try to shout things up at her. I hope in the future to get another chance to actually talk to her. I got pretty close to JMo but she left so I talked with Jane Espenson and put in my plug for an actual gay fairytale couple on the show (and happiness for Regina). We'll see what happens...I also connected with one of the fans in front of me in the hope of finding in person Swan Queen fans and a couple of her friends were! So that's encouraging to not feel so alone in it.

Job hunting does make it hard to find time to vid so that's a problem as there's like 5 vids I'm trying to get done in the next two months. One of them is an epic Game of Thrones vid that's gotten me headfirst back into Game of Thrones love, just in time for S3 coming in 23 days eeee! I'm just worried about getting it finished along with two other vids before the April Vividcon deadline. I've also volunteered for Vividcon auction with an insane amount of fandoms so I'm looking forward to doing that for the first time. Reeeally can't wait to go to VVC! There's nothing like hanging out with vidfans. I did go to Escapade a couple weeks ago and that was wonderful! I met some awesome new people as well as got a chance to talk to friends from past years. The vidshow and vid panels and vid review were all wonderful as well and gave me a small taste of Vividcon.

On a dream come true note, I'm so happy about the news that Whose Line is coming back with the original cast! RYAN AND COLIN TOGETHER ON MY SCREEN AGAIN! This show seriously saved me from senioritis back in high school in 2006 and I've wanted a revival to happen for the last 7 years. It's my biggest RPF ship and getting new Ryan/Colin slash with the original games will be wonderful. I've also been loving Parks & Recreation which has been wonderful the last few episodes (except for the Ann plot ughh don't get me started). Unfortunately Glee has been frustrating me more and more with the bad song choices, plots I don't like and not getting me to a emotional place like it used to do. I knew my love for the show wouldn't last forever but it's still disappointing. At least it's no less gay and I'm still loooving Kurt/Blaine, Santana/Britney, Kurt/Adam and Santana/Quinn not to mention Unique <3 The Big Bang Theory has been funnier lately but it's been driving me CRAZY with the increased amounts of sexism. I'm so glad they added more female geek characters but it doesn't make up for that. On the new shows front, I have been convinced by [personal profile] beerbad to keep watching Bunheads which has gotten a lot better over the last few episodes and feels more like Gilmore Girls now along with Parenthood which I'm starting to like a lot more after the first few episodes.

Happy International Women's Day! I went to a Women in Engineering event last night and it was so much fun to be surrounded by women mostly involved in computer science all together. I had drinks with a group of women trying to help other women learn Ruby/Ruby on Rails and it was great to feel like part of a community that's trying to help solve a frustrating lack of diversity problem. It's a slow process but hopefully it can only get better from here. And I'm so thankful to be in fandom surrounded by so many amazing women (and awesome guys) all supporting each other and being creative. I am ever so thankful I found this wonderful place :)
anoel: california love (california love)
2012-12-31 10:52 am

End of Year Meme 2012

Here is my annual End of Year Meme. I love going back and reading my old ones so I must always do it. I'm going to do the Vidding meme next week when I can reveal my OUAT exchange gift.

ExpandEnd of Year Meme 2012 )
anoel: ouat swan queen wallsex (ouat swan queen wallsex)
2012-12-31 10:11 am

End of the Year Fandom Meme

I'm back in Los Angeles!!! This was not the best holidays for me in NY with having to work and totally failing and feeling guilty AND having the Festivids deadline creeping closer and having a shitload of clipping and vidding to do and failing pretty bad at it. Add in a failed external hard drive and cancelled New Hampshire/cousins trip and I was not in the greatest moods and slept a lot and felt kind of depressed. But I had FIVE CATS and I spent a loooot of time with them (you can't talk to cats on the phone sadly) and hung out with my parents and friends so that was fun. It was good to get away at first but I always feel like I morph into a teenager/lazy college student when I go back to my parent's house and combined with the cold, snow and grey, it's a downer. That being said, I'm glad I went as now I have a HUGE renewed love and appreciation for Los Angeles and I'm feeling extra determined to make this the best year ever. Before I go out, here's the annual fannish end of year meme.

ExpandEnd of Year Fandom Meme )
anoel: ouat swan queen wallsex (ouat swan queen wallsex)
2012-12-02 07:47 pm

Can I please have my Swan Queen back? Please?

So...Once Upon a Time happened.

ExpandSpoilers for Once Upon a Time 209 )

In other news, I am watching The Walking Dead (just started S3) and that's been...mildly entertaining. I enjoy the concept and the cinematography and some of the plot but man it's hard to love most of the characters. And there is an extreme lack of badass, gun wielding women which is a damn shame cause the show is perfect for it. It's gotten a bit better at least. Also I started watching Legend of the Seek S2 with [personal profile] beerbad and I am enjoying it a lot. Cara!!!!!!!! She's amaaaaazing, just my type. And shipping Cara/Kahlan of course. That will be my replacement OUAT during the looong hiatus (haha I've survived worse).

Been working on my Once Upon a Time Holiday Exchange gift this month so mostly just gotten some clipping done for Festivids. I can't believe it's December already! Where has this year gone? I'm going back to NY for Christmas and if I can survive the snow, it'll be great seeing my cats, family and friends there again. Will be going to New Hampshire after Christmas to a friend's cabin so I'll do some skiing which I haven't done in awhile. I'll miss LA though, it's so nice here, all the holiday stuff without the cold. Here in LA, we had a chance to show [profile] cherryice around LA and to a vid party and it was a lot of fun! Even if the zoo didn't have lions that day (FAIL :() at least we saw the tigers being playful and cute!

The kittens have gotten much bigger and they are SUPER cute <3 I love them soooo much!
anoel: ouat swan queen wallsex (ouat swan queen wallsex)
2012-10-22 01:06 am

Well then

ExpandSpoilers for Once Upon a Time 203 and 204 )

At least there is always Homeland never letting me down:

ExpandSpoilers for Homeland 204 )

Slowly working on Festivids assignment and hopefully going to try to get this Carrie vid done in the next week or two. I had a beach bonfire on Saturday with fans and it was so much fun! My first one and I loved it and we learned a lot so we can do it again in the future. Also I registered for Muskrat Jamboree!! Who else is going? We need one more roommate if anyone is looking!